Lord Jesus

I am in pain so much Lord because I have sinned so earnestly in want to have sexual satisfaction. I long for it so badly Lord and when the feeling is not there, I want to go search for it. I pray Lord that I would have the patience to grow in this area and to allow you to work patiently in my life. Currently, I can get aroused by Annie but I do not really like her personality that much right now.

Betty is seriously a person who needs to be a little more open to what I have been doing. I think she totally didn't make the right decision with deleting me from facebook. It causes a lot of curiosity as to what really happened. I think that I'm in a large learning curve. I really don't like it when people tell me to do things. I should just allow you God to make me more sensible.

I really would like to have a job and be more adventurous. I need someone like you to bless me with all these desires. I also still want to be taller and have more muscles, but ultimately it's just to be able to forget about the past by doing something positive about it.

I sometimes can sense that when I am asked about things, I don't really want to reply with the truth. I can be really outspoken about it and make reasons to not to feel down on myself. I think I made a feel careless decisions such as signing up for the Omni Biz Sol, Tech pros, and Magic Kids. I pray Lord that you would help me to be decent in my trials here. That you Lord would bless me with the needed money in tough times. I want to suffer for the right reasons.

Lord about Annie, I want to resolve the situation in a mature manner and end up just being great friends with her. I pray Lord that things would just continually get better and that no sexual attraction would block me from trying to get to know her better. I think with the sexual attraction, I'll just let it ride naturally. I don't want to be shy with her and just be friendly.

I need to be more accepting of Annie Lord, but there are so many things that I disapprove of with her. I pray Lord that you would help me to accept her for who she is. I will pray more about this topic as I write it all down. I am currently not so sure what I am praying about as I have so much clutter underneath. I think this is great that I am writing to you about this now.

God I need some help

Annie has blocked me from her facebook and it's causing me some anguish ever since. I am not too sure why she would come to that conclusion of not being comfortable with me in the first place. Do I not have enough potential to be a friend to her?

Washington has also caused me to be out of line for a bit. I feel that his court action is going to have a negative effect on me. I don't know why he causes all of these frustrations to still remain in my life. I thought it would have gone away once I avoided him for good. Looks like, I'm really human and needed some time off from being mad about everything.

All this time, I have been trying to be a normal, functional person. I believe in having ethics to a high degree. I finally see that I've been trying to write because I needed to test my comfort zone and wanted some acceptance. Some things didn't make sense because I was trying to be cryptic and protective of my true intentions. I was shy about speaking up even in my writing.

I'm having a hard time dwelling in the past with what people have done and it's largely bugging me a lot. I sort of want to take it out by doing something positive and that's being a multi-tasking individual.

Lord Jesus, my writing has finally become a way for me to communicate to you. It's a way that helps me see things at a more structured level. I don't want to hold anything back from you. It's going to help me a little bit. Betty told me that I should write to you God. It was something that was in the back of my head. I think it just came up through some brain waves or it's just some way of trying to make positive adjustments in my life. I am still a little slow to respond to my parent's impatient requests. Betty has told me that I should get some help by talking to a psychologist. For now, I think the best solution is to not allow this to get out of hand and for these small tests to build me into a larger position.

God I am going to pursue with a positive mind this time. I am so accustomed to feeling depressed and so sensitive. I need to allow my mind to settle into an individual who can be a better blessing. Oh, God I surely feel this sensation and positive mind to get in there and make things happen now. Heavenly Father keep me from faltering as I communicate. I need to communicate very effectively now to put myself in places in winning at reasonable requests. I am really bothered by it and need to now communicate. It helps for me to just talk about it and understand the individual for now. I am going to eventually leave a positive end note.

Amen