Really Sad Story

I don't have any degree, officially. Man, I want it so badly now. I can't believe my mind just completely shuts down emotionally. I always make mistakes when my emotions take a spin. I don't realize the amount of grace that God's given me. If I could only see it in the light of all my troubles, then everything will seem so much better for me. Okay, I'm just connecting my lack of degree to my sadness and nostalgia of attending my old college. It's been only a year, but I so miss getting this degree. I want to truly celebrate this accomplishment, and the day that I do get it, I'm going to feel a lot more confident about my abilities. I will surely go hunting for a good job. The day that I do find my degree-related job, I'm going to really reflect on the many miles that I have traveled to get to that point in life. In the midst of all this chaos, I have to remain strong in judgements and do the best I can to back-up time. This is basically the sad letter I wrote to the head of the Political Science Department:

Hello Dr. Gossett,

I believe we made contact last year, but I failed to follow up with your request of making appointment with the LRC [Learning Resource Center]. I am in need of this test to get my Bachelor's in Computer Science and minor in Mathematics. I have worked really hard for them and would like something to show, as I couldn't attend the graduation ceremony. I will soon be a deactivated student with Cal Poly, now. A year has already passed and now I'm really feeling the burning desire to receive this degree. It will feel very good and mean a whole lot to me, if I could only take this test.

Please schedule me for the day July 16, as I have already phoned in with the LRC. I don't remember my Bronco ID number very well, but I think it's 004314882. Can you just permiss this Cal Poly account?

Thanks,
Earl

The Ring- My Story's Idea Pool

Evil Eyes of Jim

The evil eyes of Jim never makes a public appearance on the blog. Just as in the Blair Witch Project, the witch never shows her face, and it centers on the horrors by word of mouth. My attempt will be to make Jim's eyes to be scary as possible.

Elves queen

This idea centers around how Fai wanted to play that cool Lord of the Rings character in the forest. She's supposed to be like the main heroine of the story.

Frodo

He is the ring bearer of the story and will be played by me. Supposedly, he will get into a lot of compromising situations. Maybe fall into a spell that turns him a little too charming to his best friend, Gay Sam.

Gandolph

This idea centers around trying to get my African friend to wear a blonde wig! That's all what matters, I'm probably going to have to do a lot of begging. Maybe I'll buy him lunch or pay him a few bucks out of a dare challenge.

Gay Sam

This character is going to have a little guerrilla-type warfare persona. He's probably going to be a little disoriented or maybe even feel scared at times. I think he's a pretty open and genuine guy who doesn't mind several situations. It turns out that maybe Gay Sam and Frodo might have a little duo-kind of thing going.

Gay Sam's Wife

This character originates from a good co-worker friend. It's very convenient to access her as a resourceful person. Perhaps, she will be craving a lot of attention from Gay Sam. I think she will play a small role, just like the movie. Gay Sam will be describing a lot about her, and he may very well get poetic or even multi-dimensional. It's a good time for me to read Song of Solomon and apply some of those romantic descriptions.

The Ring - My Story's Characters

Characters:

(character) (player)

- Evil eyes of Jim ................ the Boss without cameo pictorial =)

- Elves queen...................... Fai

- Frodo................................ Me

- Gandolph.......................... Francis with wig

- Gay Sam............................ Jaime, originally Washington who disqualified himself

- Sam's Wife........................ Chris

Conflicts Of Interests

These days, society places a lot of stringent emphasises over emotions. I, myself, having gone through several crashes in life have learned to downplay my feelings. I've learned to have a state of euphoria from preventing myself with carrying actions. For example, the most intimate things that I've tried to cheat myself with have left me personally impeded.

What I think many will try to convey to me is that their feelings are more important than what I've done to hurt another individual. What slightly enrages me is the fact that the reasons why an individual will carry a deep discussion could very well be to get something in return!

"For what the law cannot do in that it was weak in the flesh, God sending his own son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh. That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us who walk not after the flesh but after the spirit (Romans 8:3-4 KJV).”

There is a hard concept in this verse to grasp in reality. Many of my friends who I have collaborated with recently bring out a connection that I don't want to verify. They are simply stating what I did was wrong and attaching reasons that are all about just feeling offended. This in turn makes them express a desire to correct me. I have made a few comments about the poor victim I never intended to hurt. They won't take it as an excuse; they scoff at a mishap I described with this anonymous fellow. It may show they are thinking more about themselves than trying to correct the situation. Pointing out A to C, point B is their selfish thinking- like, "Hey, he did this so it better not happen to me!" They go on to appear self-righteous and vindicating the blameless victim by making remarks.

Wow, the heart's so evil when analyzed in great detail. The Body of Christ is living among other sinners and many today do not have a full abiding servitude to God. No wonder the church is weak in this country.

If a discussion needs be, I will talk with the person and try my best to justify my actions. The only result comes with how I feel exceptions when a point gets made. Like the word "Never" is a keyword that honestly doesn't register very well. Does that mean a writer like me can never offend something? Notice I really feel tempted to attack people's characters at the moment, but I knew this victim I offended. I never knew he was so close to my heart. I'm just a little saddened that he had to be the one to get pursued by some trouble-makers in the church.

There's a thin line to draw here. When writing about the truth about someone especially on a blog, details can spew out in many directions never imagined. People socialize a whole heck of a lot differently. Revealing a secret is a bad thing and something that is sometimes confided in. If the perceived victim has communicated the destroying fact with other friends, does that mean that it's wrong to record this fact? It certainly gives him beyond recognition and honor, over the fallacious writer who appears to be the all-mighty powerful.

Oh my goodness, the whole disputes have arised from selfish thinkers! Guess what, the people who are reading this aren't coming back to visit this wierd blog site, again! Amen.

Earltopolis Daily Affairs

I never thought some people would think my blog is so inviting to read about. Yes, I'm trying to proclaim how bad of a writer I am. This week is my last days in school, I'm taking a final exam for my Integrated Medical Science course. It's been a lot of fun, as I feel I have confirmed God's calling of becoming a doctor. I have a lot of distractions still, like the maintenance of my checkbook, fixing my blog, and learning to cut down my showering times.

I also have finally been promoted from white belt to an orange sash in Hwa Rang Do. The instructor congratulated me during our five-man ceremony. It totally feels like the ancient times, where there were so few chosen students to train in a highly respectable art.

Work has been getting a little bigger in that I don't have that much free time any more. I see how the company is really entrusting me with big sea ports. It feels good to have made this far under only three months. I think there's a remembrance of God whenever I work on a Middle East port going to Dubai, Istanbul, Yemen, Israel, or India. The world really does center around the Middle East, as tension continually builds; I'm wondering what they'll be hiring a U.S. company to ship next. Fortunately, I'm dealing with only civillian goods and everything that looks at least clean on the outside surface. It looks like a lot of construction materials and some medical relief. I want to ensure that these shipments get there on a timely basis without causing the shippers a headache. For Australian ports, I've seen a few wierd shipments on several invoices, and it's like even though I want to not work on it, all I can really do is just pray for all our sins.

I'm not really that great of a person, as some people have told me. I think that I was quiet and trying to not to be offensive to others. I also have done a lot of running away from a lot of temptations that I couldn't handle. I think a few female colleagues last year at Cal Poly really had an eye for me. During that period, I became in strong denial because I still to this day don't see myself as a likely beau. Last year was like the best period of my life, where I actually received lots of positive outward feedback from ladies. I think it was all in my timely haircuts, shaving my face, wearing decent clothes, and putting on a good-looking demeanor. The only problem I actually had in closing any deal was that I didn't want to talk to any of these intelligent and beautiful girls. I don't know, if I still do, I think I don't now- have this way of giving people company to enjoy me.

Revisiting my past with this blog, I see that things aren't so bad as it could be. I think I used to do a lot of panicing because I felt that I could'nt tune myself in with my friends. I was highly self-seeking last year, but now I realize the flaws in feeling prideful especially if it's not going to create any progress. It's like I need to be mindful everyday and be completely honest to God about my heart's desires. To be prayerful in what we think God wants is only going to have us become short-sighted. We are all individually unique and our hearts each have been set to do a work of God. We should be ourselves when praying to God, even if that means saying there's a few things that don't look spiritual. He already knows all our sins, so why force ourselves to be someone who we aren't.

Unfinished poem

The stars and the sky meet at one faithful hill.
The midnight kiss, a pure effect.
Lowering of her girdle, butterflies in his loins.
Mild wind is set for travellings beyond the universe.

Drama, on Elm St!

I finally get to coin the saying, "Drama, on Elm St!" I never knew that writing could absolutely affect some people. I haven't realized the potency that my writing can have yet. I'm not a very good writer, and I don't think I'll ever become a wonderful novelist. It's not going to pain me to see a very smart guy like David at church, pick up a book and start a new Chronicles of Narnia collection. I guess when I write, I just let whatever I feel out, and this can mean good and bad especially if it went to the unintended audience. I've had a few disputes over writing in the past at school. They never replied back to me, when I sent them an e-mail. I never had a chance to see that I was getting out of control.

I was always hoping for a communication line, and I never received what I was looking for. When I came to work where my friend referred me, I wrote an e-mail where a customer actually replied back to me! It was so exciting to receive my first e-mail with the prized documents. I was so happy that it felt like getting an ice cream bar for the first time. I was just so delighted and happy. Of course, I had a lot of troubles to maintain the work and wait patiently on some. I think I recall holding back this feeling of letting go my frustrations with some friends because I didn't want to offend them. I decided to become myself, and it looks like I snapped repeatedly. There's a thin line I forgot to draw to distinguish between friend and foe! Lately, I've been totally different in my approach and lot of it is still new. I still feel refreshed everyday to come to work and to wake up to come in so early without any coffee. It's been so enjoyable to make great friends with my female co-workers.

I'm learning that it takes a lot of letting go to be a good listener. To be so constantly self-monitoring, it's only going to worsen a situation especially if panic starts to arise. I remember thinking about every little detail in conversations. I would be thinking, "Does my voice sound okay? Am I talking the right subject? Am I bothering the person?" It didn't end up a long relationship, as I failed to maintain contact out of being so worried. I also lacked trust in these relationships. John 15:4, states-"Abide in me: and I in you..." It's simple, without having trust, there can't be a relationship. You can surely scare off some of your sensitive friends and make them cry by hurting their feelings. With all due time, I think it takes a lot of prayer to mend a relationship with someone, who you didn't intend to hurt. It's incredible how God is so quick to hear our confessions and lead us to repent for all His glory (1 John 1:9, 1 Cor 10:31). --If I was a nonbeliever and I had a dispute with a smart Christian who ended up condemning me for all my hard work or self-righteousness, I would be peeing in my pants. --

I wonder if it's time to stir up some boredom and have everyone stop visiting this site. I know I'm a really bad writer, so serious! I can't even write a good joke when I'm feeling happy, and it has to end up being very aggravating. I'm so not an attention seeker, as you can see these posts are written with nothing in mind. I'm just letting the whole world know that I'm very wicked and a bad writer! After reading some posts, the reader may be like, "Did this guy have a mental disease?" My response is that, no, I'm not going through any depression.

I think this post will die out with the current visitors soon. I'm just going to keep blogging away, so come and go as you like. Welcome to my open family, including those who I've offended or don't want to associate with me anymore. I'm starting to see life's experiences can sometimes come at a cost because issues have to always be dealt with. People just can't avoid their personal dramas; it's only going to hit a person the more bigger the more he evades.

Wages of Sacrifice

Our passions have ability to subdue one another,
So why take it out on loved ones and be a bother?
Our tongues are quick to sip sugar and spit venom,
In this day and age, my sins never were a phenom.
I'm struggling daily, just as all of my closest people.
It's not just that I say this to be at best, whimsical.

We are blessed to have nice joys and tribulations,
We belong to God's love, so it's not a stipulation.
Discipline is so that we ought to follow His ways.
Our spiritual lives hang on the balance steadfast.
Words avoid conflict just as easy as getting one.
Times are rough that it can't always be forgotten.

I need to be more mindful of my strong writings.
It has never been of common thread to offspring.
The transactions may really be greatest with one.
Think it would really drag to be a left out person.
Kindness to persons and selfishness never mixes.
Let's never become fooled by the enemies' tricks.

Earltopolis Writer is #1 IDIOT In the World!!!

Times have flowed with ebbing ways.
Lying on world waiting for personal decay.
Smelly body, raggedy clothes ripped up.
Oh nudge me gently with baton, you cop.
Feeling insane in the membrane,
Losing connection with my brain.

The city of Earltopolis has burning foxes,
They burn people's homes, which are boxes.
Rougher winds to spread God's holy fires.
Hey Lord, just personally kick me in the rear.
I'm not the person I'm used to being, am I.
Just keep at it, until he comes back to say hi.

I'm a nobody at heart, seriously the Lord cares.
The attitude of Christ is to take it with fairness.
Personality for me is to sin so much and daily.
Because of God's grace and mercy, let's be merry.
Teach me O Lord, to read the Bible consistently.
Forgive me Lord, I want to be so sin-resistant.

My Legal Catastrophe as A Surgeon

Let's face it, people in life can't be perfect in whatever they try to be good at. Just as a godly parent would always want to look out for their child's best interests, I myself as a doctor made a mistake in socializing with a co-worker. It comes to show that I accidentally left a sponge after performing what I thought was a successful operation. What I mean to put with this post is an analogy, that I made an awesome big boo-boo!

Throughout the three months I've been working there, I've been absolutely selfish by defining my territory there. I chose to willingly pledge myself to be absolutely outspoken about my feelings, whenever a dispute arised. For example, I thought I did a good work by retrieving a document from a very stupid manager who works at UPS. I then try to do a parade march via e-mail and only receive absolute scorn and disapproval from the guy who referred me. Instead of taking it with a lighter context that deals with company policy, I became all moody and started making upright statements of how a worker should behave to demonstrate love to even the customers we were supposed to avoid. This is the treatment that he received from me, especially when he referred me. I have foolishly understated the value of being referred by a friend. I became very prideful about my abilities and at a period, I became dillusional to how I thought it was me that promoted him to a higher position.

Second point to make, I became selfish by feeling like I could write about anything in a fun and loving way. Well, I soon found out it was a fallacious thought. I really take for granted how my stupidity with writing can take me out of being politically correct. No one understands me fully, when I write except for me. I haven't made much effort to solidifying my statements with the absolute charisma and degree of sophistication that I've been aiming towards. That's my flaw, I'm going to continuously be so big-picture oriented and not leave enough details for the crowd to implicitly understand where my position stands. I'm such a very bad writer!

Thirdly, by defining my slippery slope to be that my writing won't have any consequences, I exacted my fullness in personality without paying much thought to details. As I embed many different themes into one paragraph, it's really difficult to abstractly get involved with me the writer. You won't find anyone difficult as me to comprehend. This is my proof: I simply state something and then make up small details to try to justify it. In the past, friends have made oppositional statements like when I say I will grow taller, they say "You won't, it's part of your genes." Here's an axiom, writing can be oxymoronic, meaning you can take the orientation how you want it, subjectively. Subjective offenses can be annoying, hurtful, and disrespectful. Regardless of how the offense is perceived, the absolute truth will still remain! It can so lead to fallacy when one reasons with the heart. During personal Bible reading, we all have our troubling moments, but it ends up with God's Word remaining steady.

Fourthly, it comes to show that I have offended this co-worker several times by writing e-mails that didn't quite fit his boat. I even made a really bad joke without supporting my original intention. Wow, revealing personal information is a really touchy subject that I shouldn't tell. I think I made a mistake in saying this character had his father dying from cancer. I know it's not big a deal to think that my parents will someday die and that how it would be like to have my father die from a life-threatening disease, also. I made no alias or address even though I stated he came from Maryland. He's a no-namer, and I intentionally decided to not reveal this fellow. He's just a friend from Maryland in any case, I should have named him John Smith. My life is just filled with ups and downs in the human perspective because my emotions cause me to sin and enact properly. This is going to evidently push his button, because he's not in the mode for it right now. I'm a really horrible writer, and he states that I know what I was doing. Like I have a conscience with writing something. My intentions are like meaningless because I can't get them across. Taking at face value in an emotional sense, I have to be like "Whoops!" Looking at it in a more logical perspective, I am disinclined to put any feelings into it as no dramatic observation was seen. Well, I may have left a stress mark somewhere in his head and just about ended his life a couple minutes earlier.

The things I did to pay him back for getting a job referral. I'm actually not sensitive to others as I don't really care so much about their feelings, especially if it doesn't affect me at the moment I write. My golden rule is to treat others how you would treat yourself. If someone called me an idiot for having a parent dying from cancer and then coming to California from Maryland. I would have been, "Hey, what's the big idea?" I then would start laughing as I know I felt like I did something wrong. With my perspective which I forgot to mention, too bad I was too tired with a fallacy going on my head. I meant to put a message, stay at Maryland. "Home sweet home." Don't come over to the land of idiots. California has a lot of bad things to it, well; it's an inside joke that I'm sure someone didn't really catch. As you can see, this may very well be thought upon as a fallacy. Just as an offensive feeling could also be from the reasoning of the heart.

I totally disregarded everything by totally looking out especially for my own interests. I wanted to write, man how hard is it to let a guy off the hook for making stupid remarks. I thought I could assume every guy to have a low sensitivity level. I was absolutely mean and inconsiderate to have traveled a direction that would have been bad for both gentlemen and ladies. I've learned a lesson with a better supposition.

Status of My Kingdom

Earltopolis was created originally with the intention of attracting new fans to read my bad writing. It started out as a public stunt, and I don't know now if it will ever get anymore. I'm not someone who really likes to post pictures. More or less, I don't even have a good camera like Jared does anymore.

I think making updates to this site, by making it look more attractive would be cool. I've always wanted to have my own dot.com site. My mind's weak in one matter in that it falls a lot into slippery slopes under a fixated state. For example, at the Angels' Game yesturday hosted by Cynthia and Annie, I found myself parking in a really nice spot. After the game, everything was pitch black and I remembered that I had parked in a corner. Just by telling myself mentally to go to the corner, I walked all the way to the southern end of the parking lot and then started marching on downward. I was like obliturated when I kept on traveling up and couldn't find my car. There were also a lot of moments where I felt I had finally come to my car, only to have been occupied by the lucky party. All these cars were lucky because they were waiting in a line to get out of the parking lot. I felt like crying underneath, and I prayed to God like a baby would.

I then approached an officer and asked him if my car was towed or even possibly stolen. He put me back to my senses by letting me know that cars don't get towed, if the parking fee is not paid for. He also said that the parking scenery looks similar and is pretty common for visitors to get lost in. The game ended at around 10:30 pm, and when I had seen my watch it was approaching 12:00 am. By backflashing, I remembered my orientation at the parking lot, I decided to go back to the hat at the Anaheim Stadium's entrance. I then started heading westward, and lo and behold my jeep started appearing in my sight at the corner. I couldn't help but laugh at myself, and I think another party of two ladies shared a common feat presumptuously, of course.

In the aftermath of this post, I have a lot to learn for managing this kingdom. I could be more time-oriented instead of behavior-oriented. My current endeavors are to play the piano, and my mother agrees with me when I told her that my developing talent on it is a waste of time. I just love playing the piano, and it's just so much fun to hit bad keys on it all the time. Having the thrill of finishing a piece is really hard to associate with in my life. Thinking about it, my personal growth is like the most important for me. I only started viewing life a lot differently, after I started dedicating myself to the Scriptures. Everyday, it seems more than just ordinary. My feet are lit up, thanks to God's Word.

God of Light

Life that came and stirred me by the wind,
The troublesome days of my younger mind.
Everything was played like a game,
The motive was all for great fame.
Flowing zealousness passes over me,
This lovely came as a subjective line of feed.

Now that the past was revisited with fervor,
It comes to show that my sins cause tremors.
I am not the light that shines,
Only a rotting flesh that dies.
Times of execution have passed over.
Possible option is to renew God as a restorer.

I was but a mere rascal tossed over waves,
It came to be verified that my Savior saves.
I've attended because of mercy,
Discovering tons of big liberty.
God's Word will be my only way of life,
Under praises to Him Christ will get tithes.

So Radical

I have like my own writing corner on the web, and noone but me is the person who checks up on it. This is really cool because the internet is rarely a private place. I'm so fortunate in that I can write about anything and people won't really dig trash up on me. Well, almost! I'm not really ready to talk about a sex life or about all the mistakes I've made in talking to girls.

I don't want interesting talks like that haunting me down in the future. I'm just going to play it safe, by just writing about my meaningless thoughts. Time flies by all too soon, and sometimes you just want to pull the winder back. At other times, you just want it to go farther. You know that movie, Click? I don't know why Adam Sandler decides to fast forward through the sexy moments of his life. Man, I would have tried to rewind a lot.

Thinking about it, having a girlfriend would be really nice, but I'm not giving in yet. I know how poor of a guy I am and that I lack so much to be able to fully comprehend and enjoy it. Maybe, my faculty just wasn't meant to ponder about marriage life. I'm probably just a destined bachelor who'll remain happy in whatever challenges he faces in this world.

I'm really starting to think how it would be like to lose my parents. A friend of mine has already lost a father who was battling cancer. I wonder why he chose this route in coming, I think he talked about it, but I forgot to pay attention. Oh well, I guess I'm not his best friend afterall. Haha!

Yeah, definitely. I'm a wierd dude at times, so much that I can't even understand myself. That's not really a good sign of showing. What's really funny is that I'm writing this post, while half asleep. I believe that if I were only back in Freshman College-level English class, then I would done a lot better than what I did laster year.

Thought

This thought is going to be a little mentally disturbing. Just saying so that I can dwindle my reading audience.

I'm realizing that the world sees me as a guy of youth, and someone who they don't need to put too much concern about. It's been a lot of fun to be able to hang out with people's activities. Just having a sense of good time with the right group of people is something that I'm coming to value.

Life is gradually getting faster for me and in a way, I feel like panicking because sooner or later, I'll run out of things to do because I'll be too old. It's important to have a good psyche, as being unhealthy mentally or physically will not contribute to well-being. There's sometimes an issue of selfishness that can get out of hand for some people. They may engage in drug and alcohol parties, promiscuous adventures, and in what they feel are good times.

I think it's wrong for a dude to flick off their ex and chase after new skirts. Our hormones just won't be completely satisfied until we understand a deeper meaning in life. We weren't merely born by "accident", we have a gift of life that's higher than any other species in the world. There's a possibility of having fulfillment, longing, and exuberace at the same time!

Where I'm getting at, is absolutely nowhere. I have this deep sense of longing and satisfaction that can't be found at drinking parties. To be of a roudy sense, I've never really gone that far because of lack of attentiveness to details. Living with life without recognition is pretty tough, especially if all your friends don't seem to be coming across with you.

I've made very bad decisions, especially by feeling prideful in like a holy man sense and then locking myself out with people. My mind just gets so sluggish and, I know this for a fact in that I won't be as sharp as anyone else, if I don't put a lot of effort into it.

Things in my life have looked favorable, but even so I just want to jet. I feel insecure about some things, so if I don't have anything to laugh about, I won't be able to correct myself.

Why I Don't Have What It Takes?

Hmm, let's try to prove this with a contradiction. I will do this by assuming that I do have what it takes. That would make me sound really prideful. Pride is a deadly sin. I do not have any right to feel prideful because of failure to obey God's Word. There is no good thing in me to be able to claim that I have any greatness, big or small.

On my own efforts, I will entirely fail in whatever I wish to accomplish. I'll be miserable and feel empty, even at the highest achievement, such as earning the best grade in the class. I know I've been the top student several times in my school. I didn't feel empowered about doing anything. It was more like a distraction to living in inanimate times. Life just hits you when an enemy strikes you at your core. The heart just becomes so devestated and for me, felt self-destructive. It was characterized with long periods of self-animosity. Does a relationship with God solely depend on insulting ourselves? No, we were made with a purpose in mind. To limit our faith into materialistic satisfactions, is only going to end up in waste after they are subdued, just like any beautiful plants that will chewed by insects and animals.

Flaws that Tame Us All

Living it up down the main road.
Sliding on ice, playing on mud, and standing on sand.
Playful journeys that amuse the soul.
Relaxation, humor, and encouragment for others.
Pride and preferences get in the way of things.
Lifeless at heart, dead in spirit, producing aimlessly.

Lack of concentration which creates hardships.
Mind that flows too easily into sin.
Selfishness that outsmarts, curiousity disengaging us.
Troublesome at heart's value, toughness unperceived.
Personal deceit to pass away a little time left.

Personal Anecdote For Betty

Woo hoo! One hour to lunch and I've managed to finish my work for Friday! Yes, I feel like I've done so much. I secretly know that I could do more work, as the supervisor gave me. Shhh, it's a secret. The people in my group are not really doing that work and so I'm joining in with the census. Hey, if you can't beat them up then might as well join them. I'm having a lot of fun at this job. I feel like my eloquence has been getting better as of late.

I think by the grace of God, I've been promoted with a pretty socializing job. The majority of workers are women here and so that has got to make some sense! It's with a little humor that I feel shy and also down and out with taller women, at times. Oh well, that's just the way it really is. I'm really starting to realize that most women don't really care about an individual's height, as long as you possess the ability to suit their needs.

I think the women who speak out and lay out the things they are looking for are in the minority. These women used to seem so prominent to me. Because a person is short and without star-studded looks, it doesn't mean you can't enjoy good conversations with attractive ladies. It just takes a little guts and in most cases, a little humor with your situation you find yourself in. It's really all about relaxing and enjoying yourself. I think the serious matters are things you really don't have to worry about, until it's time to mutually give in yourselves.

Hmm, I think for me to really be able to start growing, yes growing (!), I have to feel stability in everything about myself. It may get a little embarrassing for me to have to deal with my personal opinions of countenance. I think humorizing the situation and enjoying the challenge makes it really exciting for me. In a way, it's God's blessing to be where I'm at. The Lord knows everything in our hearts and will supply those needs more than just abundantly, if we seek him with all our hearts. A Proverb mentions, you reap what you sow, so think big!

Early Boy

Note to the brave reader: I used to be nicknamed Early Dog. I am now Early Boy. That's right I'm not a degenerate species, but created to have the highest amount of grace from God. Right now, life is looking a little bit more smoother.

I notice that my transformation started happening by submitting to the will of God through the Scriptures. It's been really difficult to realize its spiritual power on me. By only simply obeying Him, I've gained several spiritual blessings that I would have possessed sooner, if I only relented with serving my flesh.

I believe that life is a lot more subtler for me, and even though, I'll fall by doing evil things and turn away from Christ, there's this sense of deep satisfaction with having a relationship with God.

How could we have a relationship with someone we can't see? It's basically determined by convictions of the Holy Spirit. When we are under the glory of sin and the high points of it, we simply harden our hearts stubbornly. This means that the result is a lack of spiritual discernment. I think it's important to pray with the Lord about any concerns you have, before getting lost in a selfish world.

I know of how some new believers will be faced with the knowledge of falling Christians and generous non-Christians. As God created us for a purpose, it's not hard to see that each person is uniquely different and have strengths and weaknesses. Our flesh is weak, and therefore; at one point in our lives, we mustered disapproval of God's ways just as turning against our father's advice. In fact, not one of us have stayed perfect, as Romans 5 implies. The new Christians do look for support, encouragement, and are testing the waters. It's through our failing flesh that we are unable to administer to their needs, effectively. That's why all believers, old and new aside, we have to be in constant prayer for the Lord to supplicate the Body of Christ, which could be your loved ones.

Good Things Will Never Come To An End

Why? Because I said so. Details? Well, you get married, have a family, end up with a job you love, hang out with those special friends, grow old with your soul mate, do things to enjoy yourself, live at the peak of your life at all times, constantly feel peace and sense of mind, bring up others out of trouble, be in everlasting hope, resolve a lot of conflicts and drama, pray about your loved ones, die a happy person into an eternal kingdom with God's presence.

How do I know this is real? It's because faith is as authentic as what you physically see in yourself. The Word is active and transforming lives. This isn't some wishful thinking because results are actually happening. It's true that people can't change into superman or Wonder Woman and do amazing things for themselves and the good of this world. Our nature is evil as we grow into making those selfish choices and continue to dwell in solely our heart's desires, at times.

...to be continued

2 Food For Thoughts

1) The best way to be successful at the top of the food chain is to make rational descisions, while knowing the respective system exhaustively.

2) A "Work in progress" label is always a good thing!