My Problems

I take so long showers, without even keeping track of time. I wake up incidentally on time, but go back to sleep. I figure I will do homework, but I really don't. I can't truly make up my mind in what I'm supposed to do, without being truly informed about everything. I wonder off in my class lectures. For the first time, I'm actually becoming very serious and at the best level of confidence I need to be at.

EYY

Hey there

Everything always doesn't seem to go your way. The LA Times pointed out today that chronic fatigue is linked to genes. As a kid, I struggled quite a bit to get started with homework and to stay consistent. It's really painful to sit still and do even the minimal amount of work for a child who just wants to play. I had a little sense of being an adult, but no common sense.

Growing up smaller than others, I've also lacked in a lot of confidence with myself. There's one thing that I truly confide in today. That's the Lord Jesus. I know he's real in my life. The Holy Spirit is there to give people the conviction of his omnipotent presence. We all have a great deal to accept or block out.

Mankind before those sanctified people became God-fearing men or women were under the fleshly desires. The natural man sort of acts like an animal under its own instinct. A male rabbit in captivity can't even restrain himself. I've seen it live and in my backyard. Even if I kick it off, it still tries to jump back on few minutes later.

It's bad for a man to be like an animal. Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit comes from hardening the hearts and having no remorse over sins. God is not tolerant to people who sin. Sinners are worshippers of the devil. To be right with God, all of us have or need to confess all our sins by acknowledging Jesus as our savior, repenting, and thanking God for His grace upon us.

EYY

Random jitter

I pretty much don't have a lot to say these days. Trying to do the best I can, I'm not very sharp as I would like to be. I want to wake up early and be productive in the early morning. I know that being ready to go by 8:00 am is pretty good for a college student, but's it's not satisfying for me. I want to wake up even more earlier so that I can start off the day with an even fresher mind to seek after God's kingdom.

I have found that blogging on this site for about six months now has made me keenly aware of the things that have been bugging me. I largely have talked about my personal regrets from the past, and this great remorse for them. I believe I made known about my repentance from them and that the past that really gets to me is becoming more like a passing shadow.

A statement that I want to bring up is on how people repent because it feels good to have morality in them. It's considerably selfish looking at it in someone's viewpoint. What I do not like about this view is that, repenting from sin for any reason is good. I'm sure God would be just as pleased with us if we managed to find our way out of sin. Think about the Holy Spirit that reigns in us, he gives us different experiences and some can possibly be filled with fellaho, or brotherly emotional love. To want a connection with a higher calling is good, but it's important to keep in mind of who we are seeking after.

A newspaper I read on the LA Times shows a transcript about a pair of Muslims who brought down a plane during the Sept 11 attack. They claim Allah is the greatest, the most merciful, and compassionate. If this is so, then why didn't those Muslims spare the American's lives. Their hearts were hardened, and there was no true divine intervention from God. Enmity and love do not mix. Some argue Allah is the God of war, more like a god of hatred. Therefore, I state that war and love do not mix. The Old Testament talks about God allowing for wars to happen and even defeating enemies of His people. If you read Lamentations 3:33, it says that God is reluctant to place judgement on his creations. God's wrath upon mankind is righteous because of his sins of breaking away from God and becoming self-centered and deceived into doing evil. The opposite has occured in WWII; people have believed evil is good and good is bad. Take a look at the Nazi regime where they punished Germans who helped some Jews escape.

Just as God isn't so swift at judging, we shouldn't condemn others so wrongfully because we do their actions and are likely to be equally guilty. We can't save our own hides, but only the blood of Jesus can. Place your trust in Jesus' resurrection, and I'll see you in God's kingdom!

EYY

Personal prayer to God

Lord, heaven and earth unite because of you. Please stop man from displeasing you. My life ails, moment by moment, from being away from distractions, such as media and visually stimulating material. I sense my personal weaknesses, and I seek after your help. My heart is so filled with the longing to glorify your name. My body stands in exhaustion because of transient emotions that pass by daily. It can't stand the pressures of having to be alert to every miniscule detail of my life. There is no faith in me with this world. I long to survive in a faithless world! My emotions draw me closer to you and then they fall apart. I have had to reflect on those past experiences to draw further attention to attending good sermons at Calvary Chapels. I have listened to you on KWEV. Without your blessing, my life is meaningless and toilsome. In Jesus Name, amen.

EYY

Morning Prayers

I'm still too involved with my past thoughts, and it's causing me to hinder my spiritual growth. Why I find this so is because I'm constantly forgetting my confidence in the Lord's saving grace. Making a million prayers is something I feel like I've been doing. I'm not so used to praying outloud in front of everyone at like a church. I have always relied on a pastor to lead me in prayer. Making this new stride has been tough!

I do wish to make intelligible statements, and I think the best way for me to adapt into a phenomenal reader is to read things that reflect upon my interests. I'm calm enough to memorize facts and still need to spend more time on juggling concepts in my head. This is so that I may find relationships with different concepts. I'm usually expecting to receive like a headache or some pain when I'm studying.

It's just a matter of me to keep up with my prayers to God. I need to ask a lot more. I would like to focus on the past, only for meaningful recollections. The present and the future is something I need to regain in composure.

EYY

I'm finding that I've been leaving myself out from doing very positive things. My mind is pretty much mainly focused on getting tasks done and the Lord God. I feel like I'm sacrificing so many things as of this point. It's like I've been impaired and perhaps at a bigger disadvantage than I used to be. I think the truth is being revealed in that I have always been a disadvantage and it's because my heart was so distracted from living out for the flesh, I became deceived. I'm not very productive these days because I feel that my mind has gone absent. I've been so focused on how to improve from the past that I've missed out on seeking after God in the present. There are a lot of things I could do for myself. I could put more time into a club, become a tutor, study the Bible, pray a lot more, exercise a lot more, focus on graduating, but I'm not doing so at my best potential. I feel like I'm not putting enough time that I should for getting things done. I'm starting to wake up and smell the coffee with God. I'm not feeling so sick these days from actually trying to complete work. I have been under so much sin now that I'm not going back to that past. I'm so sleepy write now and not so eloquent. I can't really hate my life as I used to, but love the present more than my past life. I'm living an unconditional faith and trust in God. He knows my greatest strengths and weaknesses and desires. I'm so totally convinced that Jesus is real. Living a lifestyle of faith, which Chi described at the Yebi Soon Jang Training is a choice. Besides searching for guidance from God in the Bible, I prefer fellowshipping with Him. I don't know how much I want to emphasize the values of His love and greatest commandments. It's to love your God with all your mind, heart, and soul. The second is love your neighbor as yourself. I'm so concerned about it.
EYY

Too much stuff to do

I don't know where to begin and end. I do need to get some sleep though, Boy, I'm trying to get a lot of stuff done. I just hope I can wake up early to go to the prayer meeting. I think I've been a lot of academic training, enough to be able to conduct my own personal quiet time with God. I believe I'm getting more into the idea of how one should put their faith and trust in God. Disobedience is basically largely attributed to having lack of faith. A result of having disobedience is leading a life of sensuality. Sin is very pleasurably, and the moment that we spend our time on it, promoting our egocentricity, the more violence we create with our fellowship with God. Just because we are saved doesn't mean that we should continue living a reckless life. We are supposed to be dead to sin and buried with Christ. This symbolizes our baptism by placing our faith in Christ. This allows us to have a change in heart to our old self.
EYY

This is the title.

How does this format look? I think this might have a better appearance. When searching through my life stuff

EYY

Let me try again

Okay this is how I think I'll format this blog page

EYY

Check this out

Alrite, I think I'm starting to figure out this scheme.

EYY

Boring night

I remember being inspired to pray online with words at a Christian chat room on AOL one time, early in the morning before I went to school. I had this emotional high and afterwards, I felt really sheepish. I knew jack about the Bible and here I was trying to make all this sense about what Christianity was. The reason why I have brought this up is because my soul seems to be emphasizing the importance of having fellowship with God. This is done by reading the Bible and following all those commands, which doesn't seem very gratifying at certain times. I believe I was attacked in a minor sense today by recalling all the negative thoughts that have ran my life, over the last decade. Everything is going away these days, and I'm finding myself getting very acquainted with routines. I have discovered that having good posture will not only give a person growth, but also better learning situations. The blood flows a lot better with a good posture, which is evident by you not getting tired really fast. With this added blood flow, it will help clear out some diseases in the future.

EYY

I like this setting best?

Oh do I?

EYY

Checking one two three. Using html code to blog this sucker.

EYY

Oh my gosh

I'm learning that I can actually imbed in html code to make my rambings look a little better. This is really neat because I never knew that I could do this. I actually have a pretty good brain, just that I suck at evoking its power when I'm in need or desire to sometimes. Afterwards with the event, I can probably duke out to get the problem if I have a little help from someone. I believe that I'm going to get some food right now.

EYY

My spicy screwed-up life

I'm going to try to recall everything that I learned today and add in a little spice to what my life is about. I talked to Mike B. in the afternoon today about how we should get our club members more involved. I brought up a few questions about his background. He was born and raised in the Philippines, where no arranged marriages occur including Korea. Therefore, I know that most democracies allow for romance to flow in their societies. Interruption, I have just learned that I haven't confirmed my graduation yet. My mom just called me via cell phone. I also heard from Mom that I left my checkbook at hometown Downey and so I'm screwed in paying my apartment fees. Moving on to where I left off, we had a club meeting and I learned that Mike who is the club president has been involved with Night Fashion, a company by doing web design work. He created web pages using Macromedia Dreamweaver and even designed an e-commerce page for everybody to use. Mike B. is a 7th year at Cal Poly Pomona and so I can see how his expertise with clubs and this kind of job knowledge makes him the perfect man suited to be president. I lacked a lot of experience and I'm going to keep on making mistakes because I'm putting myself on the spot all the time without any preparation. What's even worse is that, I'm very loose about making mistakes meaning I don't really care if I blow it. Afterwards, I usually start feeling the pain with the repercussions that goes through my head. My life after all does not suck, I'm just a little slow at tracking things down. My roommate told me that I need to clean his microwave, after I'm done. I think there are a lot of incidents that I need to be aware of. Being at this state of mind where I actually mourn for bad things, I need to not harden myself but to do positive things. Improvements should not be visible to another person, but more better embedded into the guy's character. I know I suck at chatting, but doesn't hurt to try. In my senior projects class, we talked about how Google was behaving, and the teacher sided with how it was doing unethical things. I also believe that the teacher wants privacy for his selfish reasons. Maybe he dreads the idea of getting out of his wheelchair to stand when picking up a phone. I wonder if he has a wheelchair complex, which I'm just making up. Maybe he might put picture frames a little closer to his face while sitting on his wheelchair. I don't know, I'm just digressing in a mean tone. I think teachers are public figures who risk compromising their security to very angry students with paper wad-loaded machine guns. Just a play on to make my point. I went to the library and learned that I couldn't finish two homework problems for a class. I had a little trouble getting the ideas working, but having a normal connection to the books. I learned that Cass has moved to Ohio for some time. I learned that Anthony is on the 40-day fast from meat. I learned that my roommate loves to watch the TV while it's loud. I learned I need to stay out of trouble and be involved with postive business matters to my roommates. I learned that I attended class really late and didn't get anything done except learn how to approach my homework. I learned that Christine is very tired after work, and feels very excited to call me back. I think a lot of girls find me attractive, which defies the heightism effect in society. I think I cracked the mysticism of height, somewhat with the idea of marriages. Who cares? Will I get married for being a short dude who checks in at about 5" 3? Who cares? What made me smile is that taller women tend to not get dates and so will accept a shorter man's appearance. I also have the confidence to approach shorter women and start a conversation with them. Seriously, I'm not a play boy nor a perfect bachelor. Just an absent-minded person who can be out of this physical state of California without knowing it. I guess I'm pretty funny when I want to crack something at a random variable of time. Ehh... These are daily ramblings, what will I come up with tomorrow. I guess the same old same old story. I keep writing about something that pains me or makes me excited. Sometimes, I don't want to write and sometimes I don't care about the length I write. It's been all subjective with the amount of writing I've done. I lost out today by dropping a golf class. I learned that I need to be on time to school today. I'm learning to compromise a lot of meaningless actions, like taking showers, eating, and very little bit of doing so with sleep for chewing in more time. I'll see what glories God has stored for me tomorrow.
EYY

late late late for class
EYY

I've found a different direction out of joining the army. I'm originally going in as a signals intelligence analyst or cryptologist linguist, despite the ongoing war. I want to make this clear, one should truly never join the army for benefits! It is to serve this country and be a defender of freedom. The men and women who have lost their lives fighting in the frontlines doesn't constitute to good times. Nevertheless, we mustn't forget the true values of being in America. It's the right to having freedom in a powerful country, and this is an achievement that has been unparalleled by no other country. It's basically our naturally given rights to walk, breathe, talk, and behave the way we are supposed to! The right to religion is a true commodity, but the reason behind it is to not to force anyone to adopt the perfect relationship that isn't visible. Our hardened hearts may lean out of it often or less than others. We are without a doubt imperfect creatures who have been made right by having trust in the sacrificial lamb, Christ. Faith is like putting trust in your marriage. That's what is required to have a relationship with God and so often we have tested him that some have turned away or never even thought about it because of some emotional breakdowns. I have the choice of becoming a doctor or joining the ministry instead of going into the army. I have a deep decision to make which is going to godly, no matter what path it is! I might not get a security clearance which is fine. I can't get out of the army for saying I want to become a business man instead. They will become angry!
EYY