Uncensored and Uncut Part 4

During his enlightenment stage, God gave him the art of seduction. God told him to only use this power for the greater good of humanity. To make sure the power was real, he used his new power on the village girl. "Oh yes, the power really worked. God wasn't lying." It was now time to use it on the girl he liked to win back her heart. During this time, the second man also pursued the same girl, but it was a friendly competition. At the same time, the girl's best friend still continued to pursue the first man by using deadly tactics. The first man felt really bad because he caused an innocent girl to turn evil, just to help him get revenge on the girl. He can never forgive himself of what he did. He feels that no girl should turn evil for him. Everyday, when they exchanged letters the girl tested the man on every situation until the man got infuriated. Because she wanted to know if this guy could handle her challenge, but from the first day that they held hands at the dance, he was willing to accept it by betraying his friend, go through her strict parents, and also her recent lover. He was so frustrated because the other girl showed him love and all she did was test him like a mad professor. So they got into an argument, the girl was so mad at the guy that the more mad she became at him, the more she loved him. She kept on denying that she was madly in love with him. The man questioned if the girl really loves him, but after knowing God, he doesn't have fear anymore because he has faith in God that the girl is his, she will be his. His warrior-like rage is no more because he is at peace with the world. To be continued...

Uncut Version of Story of a Man

Long time ago in a far away place, there were two men. One man was funny and peaceful. His dad named him Peace so that one day he could go back to his homeland and unite all his people. The second man was kind, generous, and humble. Everyone looked at the second man for leadership and guidance. They became good friends since they were the only Gideonites in the village. Both of them shared common interests and desires, not knowing that they would one day fall in love with the same girl. On a stormy winter night, his friend took him to the land of Gad where he introduced him to his old friend and his old friend's sister. The second man told the first man that this girl is marriage material. The second man loved this girl, since the first time he laid his eyes on her. During this time, the girl had no idea the first man existed. The second man told the first man that her parents were really strict. Every day and night the second man always talked about that girl. The more he talked about the girl, the more his friend started having feelings for that girl. Never realizing in his deepest mind that he began to have a crush on this mysterious girl. Just the thought of it made the first man sick and bitter about himself. From winter, became summer, from summer became winter two years passed by. The first man and second man graduated from the art of warfare. The first man physically and mentally changed dramatically; he wasn't skinny anymore. The second man also changed dramatically; he wasn't fat anymore. After their training, both of them were looking for a job but there was no need for a warrior since there was peace and harmony in the country-side. It was one of the roughest and toughest moments in both of their lives. They studied so hard and yet they had nothing. They had no choice but to pray and put their faith in God. God helped the first man and his family escape from the torn country's civil war, hoping that one day he would come back to help his people out. God did answer his prayer, and he did find work as a warrior and also give the second man a job also as a leader. The only thing he needed now was love. He prayed to God for love, never knowing that one day God did answer his prayer again. Unexpectedly, out of nowhere, he was invited to a formal dance. The first man was appalled that he found the girl that his friend liked. The girl acknowledged that the man existed. He asked the girl to dance- knowing what he did was wrong, but he still did it. They danced for a long time, and he knew that from that point on, the man had betrayed his friend but he felt that holding onto the girl felt so good. He didn't know if he could let her go or not because it felt so passionate. He never told his friend what really happened, until one day his friend found out. He kept telling his friend that there was nothing going on, but there was something going on. He had been writing her a letter everyday. The man had betrayed his friend and his moral value. Everyday he's questioning himself? One day, the second man told the first man that he was madly in love with the girl. The first man couldn't take it anymore and thought to himself, how could he betray his moral values and beliefs because friendship is so important to him. Even more important than the girl. He decided to tell the truth; his friend was shocked but forgave him because of his honesty. The second friend gave up the girl for his friend knowing that the girl loved the first man more and promised his friend that he would support him a 100 percent. For awhile everything seemed to be going good, until the girl sent a letter to the second man telling God did not create the first man for her. The first man was so frustrated and depressed. His heart grows colder and colder. He wanted to let out his warrior spirit by taking revenge. How could he find a way take to revenge?? The girl is so evil, after all he the things he did for her.

Blogger Revelation

In these sensitive times, my heart is starting to ache. I'm enjoying these feelings of being a person. It's been so long since I've come to this realization that my life is filled with so many conflicts. It's so exciting that my heart's intent is to live out for Christ, 24-7. Without Jesus, I'm a complete nobody and a self-made disaster. There's a lot of good things out there for people to get themselves involved with. I know that I'm personally one who really has that privilege of doing. Why do I go to Hwa Rang Do all the time? It's basically in my blood to get actively engaged in something that I believe is physically right.

I'm really glad that God has placed me in a trial with this temptation of not forgiving Washington and Francis. It's awesome that I've been in similar situations like these before. I really valued personal friendships on people who were impossible converts. It's literally something I became worn out in doing, after Alan. My efforts first went to Naz and then Alan and then I gave up on my latest roommate. I even forgot his name, which is pretty bad. I was such a bad roommate to him, but it was all for show and even though, we didn't have a good time together, I still managed to be in my own world to not to mind him so much.

I guess that's where my strength may lie. It's the ability to see through things that are so small and yet feel so big to me. It's my will to persevere through this weak moments in my life. Everything feels so strong for me, but when a small thing irritates me, my house just feels like crumbling down; it's where I least expect it.

No pride, no sin, no hatred; it's all about you Jesus.

True Story

There was this man who I was in a bad mood with. One day, he out-blatantly started saying bad stuff about a co-worker. It made me mad because my personality was telling me that why would any person bother to care about how another person was performing. It hits me now that maybe it's because of his meticulous attention to a person's work. It still struck me moody to hear negative descriptions about this worker. I just didn't want to hear stuff about it, but I didn't bring it up because I wanted to be a man who showed no emotion. Washington even loosely stated that he didn't mind being made fun of by friends. Washington started making fun of me and oddly, I hated it underneath my gut. Okay, so one day I write a blog and am thinking to myself, oh great, I have a blog and people are going to come look at it. I'm writing sarcastic remarks on the blog, like oh this is great that nobody really bothered to read my blog. Gosh, Washington goes around and starts making funny descriptions of how I'm a terrorist and says it's evidence just because of the way I go about things. Like, I said that "I killed him", but I made the mistake in saying it because I thought "steam-rolling him" would be more threatening. I thought killed him wouldn't be taken as that big of a threat. Looks like, my senses were off-balance when I became angry. Gosh, something is seriously wrong in my system right now.

I guess my breaking point really started happening when I wasn't being receptive to Washington's feelings. I really lost sight of my sensitivity, but soon enough I received it right after missing the trial. I didn't know what I was doing at the time. I don't know what was controlling me. I didn't know what the smartest thing to do was. I was all under a victim of circumstances. It turns out that Washington did something that really aggravates me and even though I forgive him of what he did, it's brought upon repercussions. These repercussions make me feel that I no longer want to be his friend nor with Francis.

Wow, I realize that after being a perfect friend to almost everybody. I've actually ruined it on accident for a friend. It's not too late for me to still be a perfect friend; I didn't literally say things to threaten Washington. I think it was just unfortunate that Washington had to go through tough times without Pete. It just made him more threatened to have a lack of support from a best friend.

I'm not really in a good mood right now to write anymore things. It just pains me to write details that lead up to the court date. I'm really laughing about what happened, in a nutshell. There's nothing to show except make Washington look bad for sending me a restraining order. He could very well have chosen to stay away from my blog, but he kept looking at it. He thought he could handle analyzing my trippy poems. He really got a gnashing with my blog. It's almost all over now. I guess I have to be the bigger man and get rejected in trying to represent Christ. I'm a dope who can't do the right things for Christ. I'm not equipped enough yet. I still need more time to develop into the person He can use me for. It's starting to tackle in though.

A short guy like me has unlimited genes and are able to manipulate how people feel about themselves. It's kind of scary that I have the power to make people feel bad in arguing over things. When I argue, I just have to remember to deadlock another individual. That's rule #1. You know Lord, I'm just being selfish by trying to say the truth in the best way possible. I do feel totally annoyed by the whole incident, but what can you do? You just have to give it up. I need to get rid of thoughts with a conceived liking of a girl. She is no longer the girl I am interested in.

I'm going to go on to develop into a better person. Reconcile with Washington at a later date and come to terms with what troubled me in the past. I'm not a very good writer, yet. I need to find more ideas to be a better writer.

Journey of Enlightenment

The strength in our soul finds the torture within.
Our might and will just can't stand the self-fibbing.
We all need to see the truth, and the mind executes.
Among our greatest treasures lies that selflessness.
Joys and pains can't be taken away through our guilt.
Let's arise from origin attacks with shameless tricks.

God is starting to minister to me to stay strong emotionally.
Restoring the right to sensibility and undo any controversy.
Feelings are a basis to many different things and to failures.
All out of doing something everybody thought was wrongful.
To be perceived as not a best friend from sharing everything,
It's a bad thing to be considered cool and then it never clings.

I forgive for all the bad things that this person did to you.
I learned very fast what the right thing would be to do.
A smart gentleman never finishes weak and last place.
He's the one who helps to set and seek everyone's space.
Being already a servant in his heart for the stressful race,
I was supposed to be the better man at setting his pace.

I know the majority of people who have spoken to Wash may see me as a crazy person. I know that I made a mistake in posting up my blogs. I know I'm nuts, but that was two years ago when I first started writing.

Two years ago is a very short period, and I always knew people would come read my blog. I didn't care back then. All I wronged in Washington was make him mad. There is no such thing as a stupid blogger.

"I feel like burning buildings just because I can't help it."
It means literally the same thing. The fire that burns up in my body under stress. I would have gone to jail by now if everyone thought I was a terrorist.

I wrote I was a person with Bi-polar.

I became a maniac depressant when my video games were taken away.
Felt like committing suicide because of so many girls liking me.

Picking Up the Pieces

In life, we all make mistakes accidentally at times. It's really difficult to keep track of our sins because we are always so bombarded with many other distractions. A writer sometimes has this sense of responsibility within him; it's to communicate wisely his ideas to others. Allusively speaking, when Washington and Francis sent me legal retaliatory suits, I became really angry because I didn't intend to harm them! I ended up getting really frustrated and blaming their lack of attentiveness to my details.

It comes to mind that I am human after all with feelings that really ponder about people. I think it's really easy to win a speaking battle; just make the other feel like he's more equipped than you- a type of reverse psychology that gets them to feel pity for you.

In my mental trip this month, I found myself really narrowing in my sensitivity region. I literally experienced the pain and agony a close friend went through with my unclarified remarks! It takes a lot of dedication to be able to come to imagining things happening in people's minds. I've really surprised myself by reading my original works and traveling through my brain's other brain.

I believe that I have the ability to transmit phermones with my own writing. In its entirety, I think it's unique and sensible sometimes. The outward appearance doesn't really capture a woman's heart, even though a woman will do her best to appear beautiful. There's something about a genuine man that really woes her. I guess I've woed some disappointed women in the past.

Finding myself with this power of writing, I believe that damage can be done no matter how subtle you write your words- a cover-up per se. In the search for emotional answers, I went on a short-term life trek to find the missing elements that I wasn't keeping track of.

Taking grasp of my scientific research, I deducted that the cycle of pain was nearing its end. I kept on thinking to myself how I would retaliate on these two, who offended me seriously. I then felt the calling from God to evangelize Washington; this is where I started to let positive thoughts re-surface. Then, suddenly I couldn't hold in these feelings of motherly love! In conclusion, love is the missing element that will help you pick up the pieces that are hard to find.

The Anti-porn Activists

One day, a boy named Gondor decided to surf the web for some adult-type news. He was very interested in wanting to find out how he would be an adult. Being new to the whole scene, he typed in "Adult news". Lo and behold, a burial offering came up. He had to choose between three million to four million, unsupervised, web-sites. Being at the age of only twelve, he would go on to pick some favorites.

He soon caught liver failure and had to go the hospital. His mom and dad were very worried about what happened. The doctor soon found out that an adult toy had been somehow forced into his digestive system. He had a lot of rectal problems, and the damage of the tissue appeared to be severe. He underwent plastic surgery and adopted a new robot-butt as his life-long partner. Life was really difficult for him after that. He had to get minor oil-change ups, like how you would take a car to Jiffy Lube. Unfortunately, the inventor was a greedy man who placed a patent on oil changes and so his parents made their son work double shifts. All the boys at the locker would jeer at his butt in the showers. The ASB group of high school even managed to honor a new voting category for seniors-"Most likely to break the most chairs in a lifetime!"

Five years later, Gondor came to know the Lord as his Savior and friend. He would then travel over the world, often mooning himself to the public. He even married a lady two years his senior and after adjusting with his spouse for five years, gave birth to a beautiful son, Solomon. Solomon would go on to try to rule over the world and create nifty devices to sell to merchants. Gondor was eventually awarded a President's medal for public health service in promoting a healthy life-style for old people stuck to machines.

Jebreece

The hardcore lifestyle of two men Jeb and Reece have been settled on a distant planet of the galaxy, Earth. Let's imagine God created a mirror Earth and these people were green all over their bodies. Sounds too ridiculous to go on with this story. Even though it has a pretty cool plot and I can make up stuff. I think it's time to pawn this pagan-idea game.

Time for a new change

Idiot didn't seem like that bad of a word for me. Well, I guess I hear Conan O'Brien uses it all the time. Like he would say that his show sucks, when he in fact puts a lot of work into it. I think through-out this whole month, I've been very insensitive with things. It's like that I don't have this constant worry, anymore.

In a way, it's sort of fun to torture people in that way, but if it's going to cause them to run away from the Lord, then it's a sin! I think everything was vented normally for me. I do write very intelligently and propose my points. If you do look at the details, it will point it that way. By no means was there any purpose to those e-mails, it only brought on a response that shouldn't have been noticable.

Oh, I'm starting to see that possibly Washington just has a lot of issues that he doesn't want to solve yet. I thought he was trusting of me to not to say bad stuff about him. I'm not sure what type of social drama he was referring to. In a way, there's a little fear but those people really didn't see much in Washington. I think I'm the only one who really cared for him that much to really try to do things. You know what, I treat my sister this way. I sort of vented everything and labeled the word, Francis onto it.

Yeesh, this Annie girl

I don't really know what's on this girl's mind. I don't know if I really hurt her feelings. It just really vexes me at the moment as to what her true motives are. I think she's a little too old for me to consider as a wife now. A lot more other issues is that I'm not sure why she openly says things about herself, during those care group meetings. Maybe she possesses a lot of trust in each of us or may feel that nothing bad will come out of it.

In its entirety, I think Wash never was scared of me enough to get a restraining order. He was just completely acting selfish on his part to get me to stop writing about anything in general. The things I wrote absolutely had no negative effect on him. I believe so because the contextual writing does not imply anything threatening about him. The only reason I feel is that the indirectness may have led him to feel mental paranoia about different issues that he never really resolved. This is probably the reason for my feeling of his yoke being leaked out of his hard shell.

With Annie, I just need to figure out what's on her mind. I'm really bugged with what appears to be a distress call. I guess I should try to talk to her in a more normal manner. It's just plain weird for me to even bring it up. Maybe I should just say a normal greeting and a "how's life" attitude. I wonder if I should just ask her in a casual-like, no harm's intended, way by saying something like "I might be a little distressed about hurting someone. Have I ever said something to offend you?" I think it's a good call. I'll try it out, and see what happens. She'll probably be like nodding her head, **chuckles**.

Grrr...cringe

Man that Washington guy has some nerve coming into the bathroom and walking past me. He didn't walk back out or act all intimidated by me, in our moment together. I'm really infuriated by the actions that he underwent. All of that irrationalizations and going to the point of wanting me to stop associating with Pete. I've been defended by Pete, and I've made no retalitory remarks on Wash, except the truth. The way I put is that I wanted Washington to look like the bad guy. I think a lot of it reveals itself, just by pointing out the truth in a smart way. I ended up using feelings on the playing field, for my last outing.

My blog was meant to be private; an intimate period where I was supposed to write and release whatever tensions I had over myself. I'm not so sure as to why Washington became afraid of me. I think he really wanted to beat me up, but didn't have the nerve to lay a physical finger on me because if he did, he would probably not win! Another possibility could be that he could end up in jail or lose his reputation. Oh so serious, it's all about his anger. I'm finally seeing it a little better; Wash has been just really mad and states he doesn't know what I've been up to.

Hey, I wrote something that wasn't evidently supposed to be read by anyone else. I didn't expect people at church to really respond so positively to my invite. I'm only used to not really caring about my blog. I didn't even really plan out the logistics or anything.

I guess I was in the wrong world the whole time; basically what I said is really funny. I don't mind what I put down, but all of those irrational thoughts Washington put, along with Francis stating he felt cheap. If you really read it more carefully, it's just a silly gesture.

The deal with Washington is that I can't really pinpoint what the problem is. I'm not sure how it originated in the first place. I think it's a type of tough love attitude that I was placing in Washington. All I know is that my posts are not meant to hurt anyone. I make fun of people all for show, but only just because I'm just having a little fun.

Hey, I'm not sure how it's character assassination at the most. The general audience is mainly my own writing, and just because he puts on a wig is not going to affect his job. It's just for this cool idea I had in posting him on the web. You know what, I really want a personal picture of Francis. I want him to put on a wig, before I leave this company. It's going to take a lot of effort and begging. Moreorless, I have to go up and initiate the reconciliation. I just know that if I wait, Francis will come back to me. It's of course, only been a week. I know my course of action is that I'm really manipulative with my words and that as long as I maintain assertiveness that I didn't mean any hurtful words, I think things will be okay.

You know, when I'm a little angry I think I tend to be more exacting. When I'm under a state of psychosis like where I'm just feeling really annoyed about stuff, I just put down that Wash is an idiot for coming to California. I thought that I was going to play safe there, without anyone knowing about it. Simply put, I didn't put his name there. I played with it by trying to logically state the hidden meaning that I intended to put down.

Okay, so it might work out after all in the long run. I'm not apologizing which is a pretty mean thing. Hey, I could have kept on juicing up with different details about them. I could stated they were enemies and start pouncing on them. That's not the proper way to go about things. The proper way is of course being a good steward, just as the Scriptures will mention. Life is all about fixing your eyes on Jesus, and doing whatever the Bible says to do. I can literally see that as the way of life.

Deep O Deep Down Down

I think the world is not caving in for me because I'm seeing things with a bit more details. I used to also be so caught up in my emotions that I never really had the right mind to stake out my personalized thoughts. The time and energy that I'm spending on this blog is so little because I'm just creatively expressing anything with impromptu. I've written a few good poems of late, and these were so good to the people I shared with.

I never knew that I had a sort of poetic mind because it's really difficult for me to grasp my personal writing in poetry. In a way, it was like a check and balance for me. I think Washington has the wrong idea in communicating that my blog is a totally useless thing. I have put up a few posts that have really encouraged me along the way to develop into the writer I am today. There are still a little adjustments that I need to make here and there. Like, remembering the things I wrote and its exact context that I'm really trying to convey. It's a skill that I really have to work on. Like, if I write something with a lot of clarity, and I'm able to think the exact same thoughts as I did a year ago, then I'll think I've written something good!

The controversial parts of my blog were not very threatening, in my opinion. If they were, the people I invited to read my blog would have reported me to the police. There's a date of tardiness reflecting Washington's actions. If he felt so threatened, he would have not tried to make meetings with me. The only thing I recall is his anger problem and the added frustrations that he was tallying into my life. I'm really infuriated by the inconsistencies that he has forced me to observe. In the beginning of our friendship, I took upon Washington as a hard-cased man who didn't mind bashing on other people's problems. I then set out with short remarks that had nothing to deal with him, specifically. I had other checks and balances as well. For instance, the people I shared with about Washington never made any serious remarks of what I wrote. A possible theory is that Washington was just plain offended because I made statements that lacked in clarity. He then looked upon it with a negative perspective, as if his life is a total mess.

I think in the whole scope of things, regarding my biggest mistake of writing disordely details in high school, the maintanence of my blog does not come to be that bad of a period as in when I was absolutely oblivious and destroying a few unlikable characteristics within myself. This might have carried on loosely in my blog in that I disassociated from a lot of things that I complained about. Basically what offended Washington so much was that I called him an idiot for leaving behind his family, after his parent died of cancer. I can support these facts, but I chose not to discuss them in my blog. The restraining order basically made me feel like he had a problem with feeling incompatibility in his life. It's a shame that in his mind, I broke the contract. I never once had the chance to place my terms on the table, which are things that Washington probably never heeded and debilitated him at work by sharing so much irrationalizations! It goes to show that Washington only uses feelings and partial truths, like a manipulative person, to convince people with his arguments. He always has a sense of pride within himself and portrays to be the victim. Well, unfortunately, he dropped the ball by attacking me within his first reactions and then sobbing right in front of me.

Venting on Wash vs Myself

I feel that Washington is using mind control on other individuals to try to convince his points. I think that I'm currently the bad guy because I'm not relenting to my practice of writing on my blog. I decided to apologize only merely because I felt that Washington was seeing things a little depressing. I hope that I never have to come across with him again. But then again, God is really calling me to minister to him.
I have all the right logic to convince the judge that I'm not deemed worthy of a restraining order. You know what? I think Washington is going to have a slight advantage over me, since he has made it, it seems like that I'm the perpetrator. But wow, 200 pounds 5"2 is such a very generous offer. I don't really weigh in that much, and I am also a little taller. I'm just trying to be myself, and guess some people just don't like what I put there. That was such an accident there, I guess I don't respond well to people telling me to stop doing something.
I'm really seeing first hand how the world will respond when they feel threatened. I'm getting the experience of a lifetime; it's a trial that I never really called on taking. Knowing that my personality is something I've come to totally admire, I think it's going to be a very tough call. Seated on my computer, I'm starting to notice that perhaps my writing is just plain useless.
It's because I'm writing all for myself. I don't know how to really exact this writing, except just write for myself. It's just so useless, and if I like someone so much, then why do I also not go after her? My personality has come across with a curse that I can't stake out of my heart. God does punish up to three generations, am I the new generation or am I the last? I'm like the unlikely individual to come to know Christ. I should have never turned my heart to the devil in the first place.
I think it's just a matter of practice in what I'm doing. I think that type of writing certifies that I'm just not that great of a writer. I'm offending people left and right, but I know what I did. I'm just stubborn of what I posted, I'm so eager to fix my mistakes. Okay so I saw what I put there. In a way it does entail character assassination. Oh well, I'm also assassinating my character to on purpose, but only doing it lightly. If that's how I'm treating myself, I think I'm saying everything so jokingly. It's not really a laughing matter to point out that a person is selfish. It's the truth they are selfish, and they did something bad about a person. That's something we all should be able to relate to.
There's no reason to really feel that a cop is going to arrest me. I did send out a restraining order on Washington, but I'm just so scared of what he's going to do to me. He's already broken the radius and incidentally he's very confident of me as a co-worker. I don't really see what's bothering him, except that he just wants me to cool down on the writing.
I'm not that great at mind controlling people, and it's not very cool to do. Cheating a person for something that you shouldn't be doing. I think I do possess a little mind control because I only want them to be a better person. I guess as long as I keep a good intention in my heart, I shouldn't forget what I'm doing.
This is going to be really tough for me to really like a girl like Annie. She's very complicating and super genius lady. I wish Jared would just take Annie and them two would live happily forever. Annie is a girl who shouldn't live on her own; she's such a special individual to me.

I'm So Sorry Washington

I'm so sorry Washington....if only I had known that you just needed an apology. This is my written apology, so I'll explain to you in court why I'm sorry.

I seriously have a feeling of why you, Washington felt threatened by me. I should have seen it sooner, but now we have to settle everything in court. I wish I had my sensitive eye back so that I could help cure you.

I'm so sorry for all the things I've wronged you in. I would never have known in all my logical processes.

Comfort Zone Baby, Yeah!

I'm feeling so comfortable for some reason now with my writing. Despite the restraining orders that will be punching me in the face, my only defense with accidental writing is writing. Limiting what I like to do and feel is so cool- that's a really cool vague sentence.

I'm so happy now that I've come to realize my role as a writer. I'm going to have so much fun defending my writing. I'm going to enjoy crossing boundaries that will get me to see things that I've never dreamed possible. It's so cool that I'm getting so far ahead now. It's all thanks to having a great level of relaxation. I'm not all that that intelligent. I know I'm smart enough to make the right decisions in life. I basically feel that without my emotions, I won't be able to exact daily activities like serving God with a bigger attitude.

I totally see that whatever events are happening; there's basically an order at work here. I don't know how to really prove the existence of this order, but it grounds from faith. This faith in Christ, how he's there in Spirit to help us see things more clearly. Right now, I may be the bad guy to two selfish people, but there are a lot of good guys on my side. They are so supportive and cool and don't rip me apart into two pieces with harsh statements and insensitive remarks.

"How Many People Did I Write About" tally

Me

Significant others: Mommy, Daddy, Jeanny

Club members: 11 (at the time of blogging before my misconstrued terrorist remark)

The clubbers are such cool people. Man I wish I could have gotten to know them more. Yeah, gee I'm feeling a lot these days, enough for me to pick up a wife even.

Teachers: 3

Friends

Out of all these people, 2 selfish people have said I offended them! Yes that's right selfish to the maximum core. Francis may be like, oh I can't believe he wrote this, "What did I do him?" That kind of talk probably will go on. Well, Francis said bad stuff about people so I'm giving a taste of his own medicine.

Give me a taste of medicine too, will you? I know I'm an idiot!

I So Love My Writing

Since I've written bad stuff about two people already. Let's just say they got a taste of their own medicine. Yes, I avenged their feat of telling bad stuff about people. I'm a child of God who sinned on accident and made them very offended. Pretty much with the same level of scorn they would say about others. Basically, they don't want what they said to get out into the public.

I'm just shoving into their faces, the truth that they don't want to see, while everyone gets to know about it. That's why they called me a "Backstabber." Well okay, so my point was to get some revenge and I enjoyed doing so much that I'm so happy. Now, I may be the one making restraining orders on these two people! I can just imagine them coming to my house with machete guns and blowing me up into pieces.

Hey now, I can't let you two do that because I esteem myself so much that I can call myself an idiot without feeling any effect! Get that? I'm an idiot for no reason, and love being so esteemed about myself. I can't talk about something in this sentence because you know who said to say nothing about it.

I realize my strategy now, and it's going to come into effect really soon. As a writer, I feel that Pete and Betty have really helped me a lot. They've given me a better perspective to write about. They are both two really cool friends; I wish I could send both of them a million dollars! My writing has taken a bad toll because of my lack of attentiveness. The whole world is watching right before their eyes a transformation of my writing ability. I'm starting to see a usefulness in everything that I've been writing about.

Gee, the women at my work are so lovely. They are all so beautiful people. They really help me and engage me in good times. They don't deserve to get a taste of their medicine. Just screw it, I'm leaving it to my manly friends. Some of my friends are a whuss because they can't handle the stuff I write about them. Hey if it's a secret you don't want to share, then don't give it to me. I'm protecting Pete's secret right now; it's not getting out of my fingertips. You can chase me to the end of the world, and I still won't give it up. I won't even leave a drop of minty fresh coolant about in detail as to what Pete's secret. Try me, you'll see that I've been very faithful with a lot of man-to-man secrets.

Nigerian Man Needs Confidence of Respect

This post is being written in response to an outburst by Francis. He said that when I posted that blog, it demeaned him by making him feel "Cheap." He also went to say to delete that post and never write anything about him. I can't do that at this time, without getting confrontations I will never mature into a better writer.

It's time to point out the inconvenient truth, Nigerian men don't wear blonde wigs. They grow up with respect among their peers, and Francis is no exception. Note also: my blog readers like Francis and Washington have a hard time reading my writing. Men like them can't see the little itsy details, I wrote about them. The little itsy details are meant to be read by very few people like them. Francis and Washington are no exception to this rule: blog reading is tough because it's on a computer! 50% of the material is retained, and what they held was only the offensive remarks. It's so much offensive to Washington that he placed a restraining order on me. This is the only time I will state something about Washington. He is not a clear communicator, as he states he is.

Francis is a really cool guy, and unseemingly I've become a writer who is capable of dealing "death blows." It gets stated when they tell me I backstabbed them. I'll state something nice about my sister, Jean. Jean has grown up to get used to me, and oh I talk about her all the time. In my blog, in my personal life, and with my friends; she is more stronger than Francis. Francis is like my daddy, who gets very pushy feely when I say something that reminds him of a hurt. It goes to say that people have a lot of issues with their feelings and that's just not limited to Francis.

Yes, Francis Francis Francis. I'm writing about him, but is he going to get really crazy about this post? Maybe he'll set up another restraining order on me to stop writing about him! Even if he decides to disassociate with me, I still have an idea of what an Nigerian man is like. I can make so many comparisons to Francis and Daddy, already. Francis is also quite a ladies' man, just like Pete. Pete's such a good looking guy and very cute in his actions; I wish I had a personality like his.

We are living in American culture, and Nigerian people can't read my blog all of a sudden. It's really hard to bring in your culture and mash it in with California. It's a melting pot, and because of my writing watch, Francis is like going to get the heck out of the U.S. now. I won't let him leave until I make him wear a blonde wig! I want a picture of him in a blonde wig. It would be so cool to see Francis take my bribe of like a $100. Gee, that's a lot of money and I don't think models get paid that much on a first minute. I did say that I was going to only pay him a few bucks and take him out to lunch, er... that doesn't mean anything. The main point is my begging!

I have done a lot of clarifying with Francis because I placed his name in there. The whole world is going to see that I don't intend on harming anyone whether friend or foe. I just simply need to put their name down and then write a compliment. If I just leave out their name, I'm inclined to say something more offensive.

Francis is a really cool cat, positively. He's very charming and funny, but also has a lot of feelings for a girl who I can't mention. I think Francis is on the verge of a very successful law career, and even though I wrote something on this blog. Hey, if I write nothing but good stuff about people, no one is going to check up on this site anymore. There's no more controversy and no fun and no excitment. I think I'll maintain this blog with a more positive perspective from now on.

How The Man Got His Groove Back

This is about a man who had a crush on a girl for a long time, since the first time they met. The girl had no idea that he existed. The only way for him to acknowledge his existence to her is by making himself a better man. So he went on a journey in seeking wisdom, strength, success, and knowledge- what he found instead was God. He prayed to God for wisdom, and God gave him wisdom. He prayed to God for strength, and God him strength. He prayed for success and received it also. The only thing left was love. After two years, Destiny and Faith allowed them to meet, again. This time the girl acknowledged the guy existed. Everyday, the man wrote to her; like one day without her letter would seem to be an empty soul. The girl asked him a question, "Fourty years from now, would you still love me if I grew older and ugly?" The man paused to ponder, but realized that after everything he sacrificed for her; he would still love her if she became older and ugly. Everyday, he prayed to God for her love. He spent a lot of time devoting his writing for her and became afraid she would never write back to him. Until one day, it happened. He never got her letter, again. He's questioning himself, did she love someone else? Or does she even love him? Every second he checks for her letter, like it's in his blood line. His heart grew colder and colder- until one day, questioning to God, why He gave him everything except for her love? The man would sacrifice anything to get the letter again. Only way he can get her love... was to give up his love for her.
He made the biggest sacrifice of all; until the day
he'll way question himself, did he do the right thing or not?

I have an okay thought!

People go through mood swings a lot, and this blog is one of the many personalities that goes through it. Just because I say one thing doesn't necessarily mean that I will commit to it by heart. I don't have to, in general. If someone objects to this point, I will make a short reason as this post is going to be very clear this time around. I have a consistent character that people see in me, and it's not going to change overnight into some crazy mode. If that happened all of a sudden, I would be a danger to society, but I still make rational decisions. Rational decisions lead to getting along with people. For example, it's not fair to label my moodiness in writing as a danger to society, despite the fact I'd argue out of a restraining order, like a hero! The person has actions that displays their true personality; analogously, a civillian plane does not drop a bomb all of a sudden- the plane scares away my bunnies, and they run back into the hole. It's not reasonable to say that just because you are scared of the sound, an airplane is likely to be controlled by terrorists!

Self-test for Bipolar Disease

Symptoms of depression include:

Feeling sad or blue, or “down in the dumps” --- No!
Loss of interest in things the person used to enjoy, including sex - No!
Feeling worthless, hopeless, or guilty - No!
Sleeping too little or too much - No!
Changes in weight or appetite - No!
Feeling tired or having little or no energy - No!
Feeling restless - No!
Problems concentrating or making decisions - No!
Thoughts of death or suicide - No!

One person describes depression this way:"I doubt completely my ability to do anything well. It seems as though my mind has slowed down and burned out to the point of being virtually useless. [I am] haunt[ed]…with the total, the desperate hopelessness of it all…Others say, 'It's only temporary, it will pass, you will get over it.' But of course they haven't any idea of how I feel, although they are certain they do. If I can't feel, move, think, or care, then what on earth is the point?"

Symptoms of mania include:

Increased energy level- Sometimes for good purpose! Just stock up on all that coffee for all nighters.
Less need for sleep - I wish, but can't.
Racing thoughts or mind jumps around - I like to daydream.
Easily distracted - No!
More talkative than usual or feeling pressure to keep talking - No!
More self-confident than usual - No! Why would I bag on myself then?
Focused on getting things done, but often completing little - No! I got my work done for my job.
Risky or unusual activities to the extreme, even if it’s likely bad things will happen - No!

One person describes mania this way:"The fast ideas become too fast and there are far too many…overwhelming confusion replaces clarity… Your friends become frightened…everything is now against the grain…you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and trapped."

Public Defender #1

When a blog is written like a diary and someone just comes in to read it, I have to say that I'm honored that a person would really take absolutely a couple minutes to read my journals. They're PRIVATE, I'm risking my friendships because of this blog. The enemy is at work here somewhere, and I know that I'm not the terrorist. It's someone else who uses complicated feelings to manipulate people to believing something that's not true. Terrorists use this kind of weapon and police will track down that person whose looking at my blog. Evidence that can't be verified and guess what it's all the past and so whatever laws have been passed, I'm protected by the Bill of Rights! I'm going to fight to the end and win this battle because I'm going to put all my heart into it.Guess what happens when I use force, it leaves a person feeling like they need me. Don't do anymore investigating in this site or else I will absolutely put my heart into this site, and you will be so dependent on me! I realize that by being a writer, but still a chessy one, now I'm going to really have to write very good topics. I know how that I've posted a few controversial topics, like this blog used to be for my CS Club and when I said I was going to something to the one-member club, I was too busy with studying to ever let it cross my mind.