Introduction

The president of Cal Poly CS Club has decided to set up a blog so that interested readers can tune in every week without having to see their precious e-mail space get clogged up. He remembers doing this and making so many inactive members irritated. It was fun, so it's time to switch to my narrative.

I have been a spontaneous writer for almost half a decade. I started out doing a little poetry to calm myself and had some pretty well receptions from friends. My work ranged in creating a new hybrid poetical form from being inspired by simple-minded haikus and my vicarious emotions (what I mean simply put is placing myself in different shoes). My work has been destroyed only to have a few remnants left of that period in my life. Being a jovial fellow and blithful, I did not mind having to take Calculus 1 four times in each semester. I was always in a laughing mood, and sometimes felt very moved or deeply disturbed about how people might not have accepted me.

It was pretty wierd and taxing to my academic mood as well. Only recently, have I found that reading and writing go hand-in-hand and so that makes me an open person to reading other contributions composed by different members. Five people have classified me as a religious person, including my sister who felt that I was mistaking myself as a demi-god. Being sometimes angry to my friends about how they were lazy and feeling down, I had moments of trying to fire them up and get them to do positive things that they would normally not do. I lost a piece of my heritage when I started to dedicate my entire life to figuring out and implementing blind techniques (meaning, illogical attempts at succeeding in life). For example, a blind technique would be reading a textbook over and over again without any success and then believing that it will stick during midterms, late at night. Another is thinking that wasting time with entertainment will contribute to completing a successful project.

As one can see, I have had to deal with a big load of stress and feelings of emptiness. It was for a time being that I could not listen properly to anyone trying to teach me. Perhaps, a unique thing about what kept me going is that I was willing to listen to pastors who were very well adapted at explaining Bible verses, line by line. I dervied this sense of belongingness (meaning, emotional and mental stability) from doing a study on ch. 5 Matthew of the NIV Bible. Our savior, Jesus Christ taught his disciples how people who seeked knowledge of God's words were blessed.

My background of computing (eg Visual Basic 3.0/5.0, AOL Tweaks, HTML, and network security breaching) is not very well established. I never got around to finish programming anything as a child. However, it was enlightening to make a subprogram in VB create window message boxes (MsgBox stringliteral, typecode). I also did not know junk about programming and still managed to teach the BASIC language (Beginner's All-purpose Symbolic Instruction Code). A small inspiration came from my friends, who made an effort to help me create a game programming club. The simple tool we tried to implement was Dark BASIC, which is characterized as an interrupter of Microsoft's DirectX 3D. My amateur status of creating games began by doing the front end work of actually recording ideas and implementing a story line. I told everyone in fact because I wanted a person to be inspired by my idea and use it in developing a game. I would not have cared at the time, if someone had made a huge success out of it without me taking any part of it.

I have organized several folders of unaccomplished tasks for computing. The things that have kept me from going back and improving on them is that I have always felt that I lacked time. With this time I was limited to, I would be doing attention deficient activities, which are the acts of doing anything that relate to not studying or applying goals. My life became disoriented for several years because I was not able to complete simple chores as taking a bath, voluntarily reminding myself to eat, or chat at family time. However, several bursts of energy (meaning, highest level of motivation) caused me to try my hardest at doing anything. I would probably at most of the time be a failure and feel like it was going to take forever to improve my life.

During this same time frame, I recall neglecting attention to memorizing details for course exams. Due to fatigue and my phobia of sitting still (meaning, fear of studying), I did not accomplish many academic goals, which were to maintain a 4.0 gpa, become a highly recognized and outgoing person, and find my place in life. Several incidents, however, begged me to change my lifestyle. Most importantly, prayer and my Christian beliefs never made me lose enough hope to actually give up in life and take the easy way out.

A subtle enjoyment period occurred when I finally memorized a piano piece Beethoven's Fur Elise (classical period). I recall playing it so much without paying close attention to how many times I played it and receiving verbal complaints from my mom and little sister. I felt like a successful person because a currently estranged friend who resides at Florida told me how he wanted to be able to play only just one piano piece. I would answer to that call and pretend having conversations with him.

Success has always been a hard thing to grasp and visualize for many people. Their perspectives in life cause them to contradict these success goals. A few contradictory states should be rhetorical to everyone because common sense is historically a good measure. I believe success requires a person to separate their own emotions with the mind and carry through with the remnant found in the ambition. This is so because humans are obviously fragile when it comes to emotions. Although some believe anger or happy thought is the best medium, what causes actual implementations of ideas is mental concentration. It is possibly fear in the feeling of losing one's power that causes the person to neglect neutral emotions. Life makes so many people see their own ups and downs, which is in a sense annoying to hear this terminology.

There comes a drawing point in life where one must either make the cut or not. A few things that I have noticed is that a person's mood can change by making the person hear the right words. It definitely helps to be a great influence and influenced by others you trust. A club functions logically by having members be part of interesting and yet, simple activities. For example, the CS BBQ of last Thursday was a huge success because many decided to help out and hang with the club council members for awhile. Of course, I contributed by being their great cook at a good given time! What a humble person should learn is that club activities like a BBQ are instruments for doing more of them. Without this active status, it is very hard to find a time of forgetfulness with tough times and logically observing mutual recognition from others around you.