Catching Up With Life

I started phasing out when my college years began. I recall not getting much done and doing assignments half-minded. My thoughts were more focused on my emotions because I had a hard time with going to school. I had some negative thoughts of wanting to beat myself. I am feeling more confident about not wanting to do that now. By making an effort, learning to read better, and getting roughly eight hours of sleep a night, I have been making progress.
I still get some bad influences with others around me. Although I don't want to curse or watch bad TV shows, it becomes very tempting when I feel like stressing out. The stress has been around me trying to avoid myself. With all the problems in this world I feel inwardly, I let it go by directing those negative influences to a lazy image of myself. I have been prone to agreeing to doing a lot of things by journeying out of my home town to go to group gatherings I prefer not discussing. I only recall reaching out for two groups, which are a small UCLA quasi-cult and La Rouche campaigners. I did not become an active member in both of these because I thought some of their principles were a little fishy. What these two groups have in common is that they place a lot of trust in one man. I personally do not want that to happen to me, if I ever become a CEO.
Some things in life is not worth requoting and so I have never really read other people's writings. I am very opened to trying though with people I know. I have done a lot of unhealthy things to myself by not trying to take care of myself mentally. I went through a mental beating of twenty units for five quarters straight. It was all about raising my ego, which is pathetic. I attempted to be productive in life for all the wrong reasons. What I believe I was blessed by God for is that I became unsure of everything I was doing. Anything I tried, I would seek for encouragement from a person. I think that means I was seeking for a mentor. I have been unable to think of one here at Cal Poly Pomona, unfortunately. I am very saddened by the disappointments I have had to face. Things do not always go according to plan because our expectations can be very different from what we had in mind.
I believe some of the greatest people are those who didn't have the sharpest minds. Reflecting on this, hard work is what I attribute to being smart. My grandparents are the greatest example in my life, who lived the longest and worked the hardest with providing love for a big family. My mom has done a lot for me too, by teaching me with her scoldings. One can't learn everything in life to be successful, but it doesn't mean he or she should just give up on finding ultimately peace with God. The weakest people can grow up to be stronger than a person they have been chasing after. Believe it or not, I'm chasing after the most dilligent CS students.