I'm finding that I've been leaving myself out from doing very positive things. My mind is pretty much mainly focused on getting tasks done and the Lord God. I feel like I'm sacrificing so many things as of this point. It's like I've been impaired and perhaps at a bigger disadvantage than I used to be. I think the truth is being revealed in that I have always been a disadvantage and it's because my heart was so distracted from living out for the flesh, I became deceived. I'm not very productive these days because I feel that my mind has gone absent. I've been so focused on how to improve from the past that I've missed out on seeking after God in the present. There are a lot of things I could do for myself. I could put more time into a club, become a tutor, study the Bible, pray a lot more, exercise a lot more, focus on graduating, but I'm not doing so at my best potential. I feel like I'm not putting enough time that I should for getting things done. I'm starting to wake up and smell the coffee with God. I'm not feeling so sick these days from actually trying to complete work. I have been under so much sin now that I'm not going back to that past. I'm so sleepy write now and not so eloquent. I can't really hate my life as I used to, but love the present more than my past life. I'm living an unconditional faith and trust in God. He knows my greatest strengths and weaknesses and desires. I'm so totally convinced that Jesus is real. Living a lifestyle of faith, which Chi described at the Yebi Soon Jang Training is a choice. Besides searching for guidance from God in the Bible, I prefer fellowshipping with Him. I don't know how much I want to emphasize the values of His love and greatest commandments. It's to love your God with all your mind, heart, and soul. The second is love your neighbor as yourself. I'm so concerned about it.
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