Club Priority

I can't say the amount of priority I have placed on this club but have little to show for. My mother tells me it is really hard to be a president. Being at the top position is very difficult indeed because I have to do a lot of thinking. Taking 20 units of classes was very unreasonable but I am pretty much forced to deal with it because I truly hate thinking to myself I won't graduate in four years. I know some people will be jealous if I manage to succeed at my goal. It's only very normal. I have always been scared about performing at the maximum level because I have been worried about things changing too fast. It's like a psychological fear of progressing too fast from having to dedicate a lot of time to it. This sort of developed when I had straight A's in the first year of high school and last two years in middle school. I then became faced with struggles of deciding my priority level.

It always felt like I was being held back from something. I did want to learn about computers really badly at one point and get straight A's and go to a nice school. The only scary portion about this dream was the amount of investment I would have to make. I chose to go after the short term happiness by watching television and playing computer games. I guess these things happen to many kids nowadays.

I can't really explain how people showed up to the club meeting. It was really cool to observe people coming to a meeting we absolutely did nothing in. I am very happy to be able to acknowledge the amount of support I obtained early in the year. I really became a little worn out from not understanding people's priorities. It is like everyone has different priorities with life, but the same principle remains in that the majority of us continue to show up for lectures in school.

There is always going to be a little nervousness associated with me in doing a club. Being a president and bringing in cookies was a lot of fun. When the meetings stopped occuring from people not showing up, I did not know what happened. I became very appalled and feared creating more meetings. I felt like a nobody who was just in existence and a person with a will to program anything the professor gave. I would naturally stink at working with concepts.

I did do a little research on people's learning abilities. One of these is having the skill to write. I think I characterize as a person who has a somewhat ability to play musical instruments, write, research on issues, solve problems, and program. There is something inside of me that is causing me to feel like breaking down and to make progress at the same time. It is sort of wierd in a sense. I really don't want to let go of myself and do the things that will eventually hurt me.

I have so many moments of feeling a lot of confidence. I guess it is a good thing in a sense. I have had to overcome a lot of anxieties and phobias. I was afraid of studying and reading. I have always been afraid of offending people for doing things I think are the best way for everyone.

What I realize overall is that the best communicative efforts from me caused the club to develop. It looks like communication is a very big priority in a club. It doesn't matter how others who think negatively about us feel. It's about taking care of the scope of things.