Today, I had a pretty bad day because I was kicked out of my brass ensemble class. I have been playing the trumpet and euphonium. The euphonium is like a tuba but way smaller. The instructor Gary told me that I'm making everyone wait on me and was making an accusation that I don't know the music. He also told me to not to come back, if I couldn't play the music. I can seriously play the music, but it's just me sometimes in that I can't keep up with the tempo. Oh well, I'm going to keep showing up to class. It pretty much is painful to be going through this negative event because I couldn't be so attentive to class lectures today. I'm just being an idiot by placing a lot of blame on myself with those feelings. Those feelings cause me to rethink and find some wrongs. When I'm feeling mad, I tend to think up things that could ethically go against the person I'm mad at. For the most part, I was pretty sad today and much stuff from math class didn't go in today to my head. I'm just being a dummy. The bright side is that I I believe that this music class is helping me learn about accountability and improvisation. I've been collaborating with the instructor freely a lot by giving him feedback about what's going on. I even gave him a phone call and left this cold message to him. I implied that I don't really care if he kicks me out of class, just that I'm going to keep trying. I told him that I don't like to reason with feelings. It's pretty true because I'm not very affected emotionally a lot of the times.
EYY