Moment of Imagerial Recollection

I'm starting to realize these days that intuition doesn't always come with expectations of looking for it at the right moment of time. All of this world seems to be dwelled in by a loving force that captivates individuals by their own will or natural selection from this invisible goodness. It is true that everyone doesn't always live a happy life of wanting to do everything easy and being filled to the utmost and having that cup filled to the very rim of it and enlarged for further satisfaction. All of us have been given a gift from this most gracious circle because of our natural predestination to incline to the dark pits of failure. When I look at individuals, I see a sense of a lighted being wanting to provide them with all of their needs and being wholy challenged in trying to mold them in the perfect and best form. For example, using me as an illustration, I have grown up to be the most insignificant person that I have ever imagined to be. I've continuously lived this empty life filled with emotions of desperation, lust, sorrows, guilt, and deep despair. I disabled myself by practicing cult-like rituals that distracted me from gathering fruits for my family and loved ones. By practicing the deceptive art of not being caught by my parents, I was only hurting myself by clinging on to this security blanket. It is too devestating for me to reveal to women who are precious souls to the living God, equivalently with men. I find that my way of past practices have led me to a doomed path of repetitious sadness and willful rebellion against the natural calls of truth, justice, and righteousness. I was nothing but a clanging piece of gong who acted like nothing was wrong because of my need to cling on to encouragement of good people. Yes, I have a tainted heart filled with evil and find that solving problems is the thing that I like to do for myself. I've had a period of drought in the actions of encouraging others when I was given a calling to do so. My emotions sank underneath the ocean on a treasure chest and out of principle, I'm working eventually at retrieving the chest, finding the perfect locksmith, and sorting out those past treasures that I have defiantly let go of.
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