Why I Don't Have What It Takes?

Hmm, let's try to prove this with a contradiction. I will do this by assuming that I do have what it takes. That would make me sound really prideful. Pride is a deadly sin. I do not have any right to feel prideful because of failure to obey God's Word. There is no good thing in me to be able to claim that I have any greatness, big or small.

On my own efforts, I will entirely fail in whatever I wish to accomplish. I'll be miserable and feel empty, even at the highest achievement, such as earning the best grade in the class. I know I've been the top student several times in my school. I didn't feel empowered about doing anything. It was more like a distraction to living in inanimate times. Life just hits you when an enemy strikes you at your core. The heart just becomes so devestated and for me, felt self-destructive. It was characterized with long periods of self-animosity. Does a relationship with God solely depend on insulting ourselves? No, we were made with a purpose in mind. To limit our faith into materialistic satisfactions, is only going to end up in waste after they are subdued, just like any beautiful plants that will chewed by insects and animals.