I So Love My Writing

Since I've written bad stuff about two people already. Let's just say they got a taste of their own medicine. Yes, I avenged their feat of telling bad stuff about people. I'm a child of God who sinned on accident and made them very offended. Pretty much with the same level of scorn they would say about others. Basically, they don't want what they said to get out into the public.

I'm just shoving into their faces, the truth that they don't want to see, while everyone gets to know about it. That's why they called me a "Backstabber." Well okay, so my point was to get some revenge and I enjoyed doing so much that I'm so happy. Now, I may be the one making restraining orders on these two people! I can just imagine them coming to my house with machete guns and blowing me up into pieces.

Hey now, I can't let you two do that because I esteem myself so much that I can call myself an idiot without feeling any effect! Get that? I'm an idiot for no reason, and love being so esteemed about myself. I can't talk about something in this sentence because you know who said to say nothing about it.

I realize my strategy now, and it's going to come into effect really soon. As a writer, I feel that Pete and Betty have really helped me a lot. They've given me a better perspective to write about. They are both two really cool friends; I wish I could send both of them a million dollars! My writing has taken a bad toll because of my lack of attentiveness. The whole world is watching right before their eyes a transformation of my writing ability. I'm starting to see a usefulness in everything that I've been writing about.

Gee, the women at my work are so lovely. They are all so beautiful people. They really help me and engage me in good times. They don't deserve to get a taste of their medicine. Just screw it, I'm leaving it to my manly friends. Some of my friends are a whuss because they can't handle the stuff I write about them. Hey if it's a secret you don't want to share, then don't give it to me. I'm protecting Pete's secret right now; it's not getting out of my fingertips. You can chase me to the end of the world, and I still won't give it up. I won't even leave a drop of minty fresh coolant about in detail as to what Pete's secret. Try me, you'll see that I've been very faithful with a lot of man-to-man secrets.

Nigerian Man Needs Confidence of Respect

This post is being written in response to an outburst by Francis. He said that when I posted that blog, it demeaned him by making him feel "Cheap." He also went to say to delete that post and never write anything about him. I can't do that at this time, without getting confrontations I will never mature into a better writer.

It's time to point out the inconvenient truth, Nigerian men don't wear blonde wigs. They grow up with respect among their peers, and Francis is no exception. Note also: my blog readers like Francis and Washington have a hard time reading my writing. Men like them can't see the little itsy details, I wrote about them. The little itsy details are meant to be read by very few people like them. Francis and Washington are no exception to this rule: blog reading is tough because it's on a computer! 50% of the material is retained, and what they held was only the offensive remarks. It's so much offensive to Washington that he placed a restraining order on me. This is the only time I will state something about Washington. He is not a clear communicator, as he states he is.

Francis is a really cool guy, and unseemingly I've become a writer who is capable of dealing "death blows." It gets stated when they tell me I backstabbed them. I'll state something nice about my sister, Jean. Jean has grown up to get used to me, and oh I talk about her all the time. In my blog, in my personal life, and with my friends; she is more stronger than Francis. Francis is like my daddy, who gets very pushy feely when I say something that reminds him of a hurt. It goes to say that people have a lot of issues with their feelings and that's just not limited to Francis.

Yes, Francis Francis Francis. I'm writing about him, but is he going to get really crazy about this post? Maybe he'll set up another restraining order on me to stop writing about him! Even if he decides to disassociate with me, I still have an idea of what an Nigerian man is like. I can make so many comparisons to Francis and Daddy, already. Francis is also quite a ladies' man, just like Pete. Pete's such a good looking guy and very cute in his actions; I wish I had a personality like his.

We are living in American culture, and Nigerian people can't read my blog all of a sudden. It's really hard to bring in your culture and mash it in with California. It's a melting pot, and because of my writing watch, Francis is like going to get the heck out of the U.S. now. I won't let him leave until I make him wear a blonde wig! I want a picture of him in a blonde wig. It would be so cool to see Francis take my bribe of like a $100. Gee, that's a lot of money and I don't think models get paid that much on a first minute. I did say that I was going to only pay him a few bucks and take him out to lunch, er... that doesn't mean anything. The main point is my begging!

I have done a lot of clarifying with Francis because I placed his name in there. The whole world is going to see that I don't intend on harming anyone whether friend or foe. I just simply need to put their name down and then write a compliment. If I just leave out their name, I'm inclined to say something more offensive.

Francis is a really cool cat, positively. He's very charming and funny, but also has a lot of feelings for a girl who I can't mention. I think Francis is on the verge of a very successful law career, and even though I wrote something on this blog. Hey, if I write nothing but good stuff about people, no one is going to check up on this site anymore. There's no more controversy and no fun and no excitment. I think I'll maintain this blog with a more positive perspective from now on.

How The Man Got His Groove Back

This is about a man who had a crush on a girl for a long time, since the first time they met. The girl had no idea that he existed. The only way for him to acknowledge his existence to her is by making himself a better man. So he went on a journey in seeking wisdom, strength, success, and knowledge- what he found instead was God. He prayed to God for wisdom, and God gave him wisdom. He prayed to God for strength, and God him strength. He prayed for success and received it also. The only thing left was love. After two years, Destiny and Faith allowed them to meet, again. This time the girl acknowledged the guy existed. Everyday, the man wrote to her; like one day without her letter would seem to be an empty soul. The girl asked him a question, "Fourty years from now, would you still love me if I grew older and ugly?" The man paused to ponder, but realized that after everything he sacrificed for her; he would still love her if she became older and ugly. Everyday, he prayed to God for her love. He spent a lot of time devoting his writing for her and became afraid she would never write back to him. Until one day, it happened. He never got her letter, again. He's questioning himself, did she love someone else? Or does she even love him? Every second he checks for her letter, like it's in his blood line. His heart grew colder and colder- until one day, questioning to God, why He gave him everything except for her love? The man would sacrifice anything to get the letter again. Only way he can get her love... was to give up his love for her.
He made the biggest sacrifice of all; until the day
he'll way question himself, did he do the right thing or not?

I have an okay thought!

People go through mood swings a lot, and this blog is one of the many personalities that goes through it. Just because I say one thing doesn't necessarily mean that I will commit to it by heart. I don't have to, in general. If someone objects to this point, I will make a short reason as this post is going to be very clear this time around. I have a consistent character that people see in me, and it's not going to change overnight into some crazy mode. If that happened all of a sudden, I would be a danger to society, but I still make rational decisions. Rational decisions lead to getting along with people. For example, it's not fair to label my moodiness in writing as a danger to society, despite the fact I'd argue out of a restraining order, like a hero! The person has actions that displays their true personality; analogously, a civillian plane does not drop a bomb all of a sudden- the plane scares away my bunnies, and they run back into the hole. It's not reasonable to say that just because you are scared of the sound, an airplane is likely to be controlled by terrorists!

Self-test for Bipolar Disease

Symptoms of depression include:

Feeling sad or blue, or “down in the dumps” --- No!
Loss of interest in things the person used to enjoy, including sex - No!
Feeling worthless, hopeless, or guilty - No!
Sleeping too little or too much - No!
Changes in weight or appetite - No!
Feeling tired or having little or no energy - No!
Feeling restless - No!
Problems concentrating or making decisions - No!
Thoughts of death or suicide - No!

One person describes depression this way:"I doubt completely my ability to do anything well. It seems as though my mind has slowed down and burned out to the point of being virtually useless. [I am] haunt[ed]…with the total, the desperate hopelessness of it all…Others say, 'It's only temporary, it will pass, you will get over it.' But of course they haven't any idea of how I feel, although they are certain they do. If I can't feel, move, think, or care, then what on earth is the point?"

Symptoms of mania include:

Increased energy level- Sometimes for good purpose! Just stock up on all that coffee for all nighters.
Less need for sleep - I wish, but can't.
Racing thoughts or mind jumps around - I like to daydream.
Easily distracted - No!
More talkative than usual or feeling pressure to keep talking - No!
More self-confident than usual - No! Why would I bag on myself then?
Focused on getting things done, but often completing little - No! I got my work done for my job.
Risky or unusual activities to the extreme, even if it’s likely bad things will happen - No!

One person describes mania this way:"The fast ideas become too fast and there are far too many…overwhelming confusion replaces clarity… Your friends become frightened…everything is now against the grain…you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and trapped."

Public Defender #1

When a blog is written like a diary and someone just comes in to read it, I have to say that I'm honored that a person would really take absolutely a couple minutes to read my journals. They're PRIVATE, I'm risking my friendships because of this blog. The enemy is at work here somewhere, and I know that I'm not the terrorist. It's someone else who uses complicated feelings to manipulate people to believing something that's not true. Terrorists use this kind of weapon and police will track down that person whose looking at my blog. Evidence that can't be verified and guess what it's all the past and so whatever laws have been passed, I'm protected by the Bill of Rights! I'm going to fight to the end and win this battle because I'm going to put all my heart into it.Guess what happens when I use force, it leaves a person feeling like they need me. Don't do anymore investigating in this site or else I will absolutely put my heart into this site, and you will be so dependent on me! I realize that by being a writer, but still a chessy one, now I'm going to really have to write very good topics. I know how that I've posted a few controversial topics, like this blog used to be for my CS Club and when I said I was going to something to the one-member club, I was too busy with studying to ever let it cross my mind.

Really Sad Story

I don't have any degree, officially. Man, I want it so badly now. I can't believe my mind just completely shuts down emotionally. I always make mistakes when my emotions take a spin. I don't realize the amount of grace that God's given me. If I could only see it in the light of all my troubles, then everything will seem so much better for me. Okay, I'm just connecting my lack of degree to my sadness and nostalgia of attending my old college. It's been only a year, but I so miss getting this degree. I want to truly celebrate this accomplishment, and the day that I do get it, I'm going to feel a lot more confident about my abilities. I will surely go hunting for a good job. The day that I do find my degree-related job, I'm going to really reflect on the many miles that I have traveled to get to that point in life. In the midst of all this chaos, I have to remain strong in judgements and do the best I can to back-up time. This is basically the sad letter I wrote to the head of the Political Science Department:

Hello Dr. Gossett,

I believe we made contact last year, but I failed to follow up with your request of making appointment with the LRC [Learning Resource Center]. I am in need of this test to get my Bachelor's in Computer Science and minor in Mathematics. I have worked really hard for them and would like something to show, as I couldn't attend the graduation ceremony. I will soon be a deactivated student with Cal Poly, now. A year has already passed and now I'm really feeling the burning desire to receive this degree. It will feel very good and mean a whole lot to me, if I could only take this test.

Please schedule me for the day July 16, as I have already phoned in with the LRC. I don't remember my Bronco ID number very well, but I think it's 004314882. Can you just permiss this Cal Poly account?

Thanks,
Earl

The Ring- My Story's Idea Pool

Evil Eyes of Jim

The evil eyes of Jim never makes a public appearance on the blog. Just as in the Blair Witch Project, the witch never shows her face, and it centers on the horrors by word of mouth. My attempt will be to make Jim's eyes to be scary as possible.

Elves queen

This idea centers around how Fai wanted to play that cool Lord of the Rings character in the forest. She's supposed to be like the main heroine of the story.

Frodo

He is the ring bearer of the story and will be played by me. Supposedly, he will get into a lot of compromising situations. Maybe fall into a spell that turns him a little too charming to his best friend, Gay Sam.

Gandolph

This idea centers around trying to get my African friend to wear a blonde wig! That's all what matters, I'm probably going to have to do a lot of begging. Maybe I'll buy him lunch or pay him a few bucks out of a dare challenge.

Gay Sam

This character is going to have a little guerrilla-type warfare persona. He's probably going to be a little disoriented or maybe even feel scared at times. I think he's a pretty open and genuine guy who doesn't mind several situations. It turns out that maybe Gay Sam and Frodo might have a little duo-kind of thing going.

Gay Sam's Wife

This character originates from a good co-worker friend. It's very convenient to access her as a resourceful person. Perhaps, she will be craving a lot of attention from Gay Sam. I think she will play a small role, just like the movie. Gay Sam will be describing a lot about her, and he may very well get poetic or even multi-dimensional. It's a good time for me to read Song of Solomon and apply some of those romantic descriptions.

The Ring - My Story's Characters

Characters:

(character) (player)

- Evil eyes of Jim ................ the Boss without cameo pictorial =)

- Elves queen...................... Fai

- Frodo................................ Me

- Gandolph.......................... Francis with wig

- Gay Sam............................ Jaime, originally Washington who disqualified himself

- Sam's Wife........................ Chris

Conflicts Of Interests

These days, society places a lot of stringent emphasises over emotions. I, myself, having gone through several crashes in life have learned to downplay my feelings. I've learned to have a state of euphoria from preventing myself with carrying actions. For example, the most intimate things that I've tried to cheat myself with have left me personally impeded.

What I think many will try to convey to me is that their feelings are more important than what I've done to hurt another individual. What slightly enrages me is the fact that the reasons why an individual will carry a deep discussion could very well be to get something in return!

"For what the law cannot do in that it was weak in the flesh, God sending his own son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh. That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us who walk not after the flesh but after the spirit (Romans 8:3-4 KJV).”

There is a hard concept in this verse to grasp in reality. Many of my friends who I have collaborated with recently bring out a connection that I don't want to verify. They are simply stating what I did was wrong and attaching reasons that are all about just feeling offended. This in turn makes them express a desire to correct me. I have made a few comments about the poor victim I never intended to hurt. They won't take it as an excuse; they scoff at a mishap I described with this anonymous fellow. It may show they are thinking more about themselves than trying to correct the situation. Pointing out A to C, point B is their selfish thinking- like, "Hey, he did this so it better not happen to me!" They go on to appear self-righteous and vindicating the blameless victim by making remarks.

Wow, the heart's so evil when analyzed in great detail. The Body of Christ is living among other sinners and many today do not have a full abiding servitude to God. No wonder the church is weak in this country.

If a discussion needs be, I will talk with the person and try my best to justify my actions. The only result comes with how I feel exceptions when a point gets made. Like the word "Never" is a keyword that honestly doesn't register very well. Does that mean a writer like me can never offend something? Notice I really feel tempted to attack people's characters at the moment, but I knew this victim I offended. I never knew he was so close to my heart. I'm just a little saddened that he had to be the one to get pursued by some trouble-makers in the church.

There's a thin line to draw here. When writing about the truth about someone especially on a blog, details can spew out in many directions never imagined. People socialize a whole heck of a lot differently. Revealing a secret is a bad thing and something that is sometimes confided in. If the perceived victim has communicated the destroying fact with other friends, does that mean that it's wrong to record this fact? It certainly gives him beyond recognition and honor, over the fallacious writer who appears to be the all-mighty powerful.

Oh my goodness, the whole disputes have arised from selfish thinkers! Guess what, the people who are reading this aren't coming back to visit this wierd blog site, again! Amen.

Earltopolis Daily Affairs

I never thought some people would think my blog is so inviting to read about. Yes, I'm trying to proclaim how bad of a writer I am. This week is my last days in school, I'm taking a final exam for my Integrated Medical Science course. It's been a lot of fun, as I feel I have confirmed God's calling of becoming a doctor. I have a lot of distractions still, like the maintenance of my checkbook, fixing my blog, and learning to cut down my showering times.

I also have finally been promoted from white belt to an orange sash in Hwa Rang Do. The instructor congratulated me during our five-man ceremony. It totally feels like the ancient times, where there were so few chosen students to train in a highly respectable art.

Work has been getting a little bigger in that I don't have that much free time any more. I see how the company is really entrusting me with big sea ports. It feels good to have made this far under only three months. I think there's a remembrance of God whenever I work on a Middle East port going to Dubai, Istanbul, Yemen, Israel, or India. The world really does center around the Middle East, as tension continually builds; I'm wondering what they'll be hiring a U.S. company to ship next. Fortunately, I'm dealing with only civillian goods and everything that looks at least clean on the outside surface. It looks like a lot of construction materials and some medical relief. I want to ensure that these shipments get there on a timely basis without causing the shippers a headache. For Australian ports, I've seen a few wierd shipments on several invoices, and it's like even though I want to not work on it, all I can really do is just pray for all our sins.

I'm not really that great of a person, as some people have told me. I think that I was quiet and trying to not to be offensive to others. I also have done a lot of running away from a lot of temptations that I couldn't handle. I think a few female colleagues last year at Cal Poly really had an eye for me. During that period, I became in strong denial because I still to this day don't see myself as a likely beau. Last year was like the best period of my life, where I actually received lots of positive outward feedback from ladies. I think it was all in my timely haircuts, shaving my face, wearing decent clothes, and putting on a good-looking demeanor. The only problem I actually had in closing any deal was that I didn't want to talk to any of these intelligent and beautiful girls. I don't know, if I still do, I think I don't now- have this way of giving people company to enjoy me.

Revisiting my past with this blog, I see that things aren't so bad as it could be. I think I used to do a lot of panicing because I felt that I could'nt tune myself in with my friends. I was highly self-seeking last year, but now I realize the flaws in feeling prideful especially if it's not going to create any progress. It's like I need to be mindful everyday and be completely honest to God about my heart's desires. To be prayerful in what we think God wants is only going to have us become short-sighted. We are all individually unique and our hearts each have been set to do a work of God. We should be ourselves when praying to God, even if that means saying there's a few things that don't look spiritual. He already knows all our sins, so why force ourselves to be someone who we aren't.

Unfinished poem

The stars and the sky meet at one faithful hill.
The midnight kiss, a pure effect.
Lowering of her girdle, butterflies in his loins.
Mild wind is set for travellings beyond the universe.

Drama, on Elm St!

I finally get to coin the saying, "Drama, on Elm St!" I never knew that writing could absolutely affect some people. I haven't realized the potency that my writing can have yet. I'm not a very good writer, and I don't think I'll ever become a wonderful novelist. It's not going to pain me to see a very smart guy like David at church, pick up a book and start a new Chronicles of Narnia collection. I guess when I write, I just let whatever I feel out, and this can mean good and bad especially if it went to the unintended audience. I've had a few disputes over writing in the past at school. They never replied back to me, when I sent them an e-mail. I never had a chance to see that I was getting out of control.

I was always hoping for a communication line, and I never received what I was looking for. When I came to work where my friend referred me, I wrote an e-mail where a customer actually replied back to me! It was so exciting to receive my first e-mail with the prized documents. I was so happy that it felt like getting an ice cream bar for the first time. I was just so delighted and happy. Of course, I had a lot of troubles to maintain the work and wait patiently on some. I think I recall holding back this feeling of letting go my frustrations with some friends because I didn't want to offend them. I decided to become myself, and it looks like I snapped repeatedly. There's a thin line I forgot to draw to distinguish between friend and foe! Lately, I've been totally different in my approach and lot of it is still new. I still feel refreshed everyday to come to work and to wake up to come in so early without any coffee. It's been so enjoyable to make great friends with my female co-workers.

I'm learning that it takes a lot of letting go to be a good listener. To be so constantly self-monitoring, it's only going to worsen a situation especially if panic starts to arise. I remember thinking about every little detail in conversations. I would be thinking, "Does my voice sound okay? Am I talking the right subject? Am I bothering the person?" It didn't end up a long relationship, as I failed to maintain contact out of being so worried. I also lacked trust in these relationships. John 15:4, states-"Abide in me: and I in you..." It's simple, without having trust, there can't be a relationship. You can surely scare off some of your sensitive friends and make them cry by hurting their feelings. With all due time, I think it takes a lot of prayer to mend a relationship with someone, who you didn't intend to hurt. It's incredible how God is so quick to hear our confessions and lead us to repent for all His glory (1 John 1:9, 1 Cor 10:31). --If I was a nonbeliever and I had a dispute with a smart Christian who ended up condemning me for all my hard work or self-righteousness, I would be peeing in my pants. --

I wonder if it's time to stir up some boredom and have everyone stop visiting this site. I know I'm a really bad writer, so serious! I can't even write a good joke when I'm feeling happy, and it has to end up being very aggravating. I'm so not an attention seeker, as you can see these posts are written with nothing in mind. I'm just letting the whole world know that I'm very wicked and a bad writer! After reading some posts, the reader may be like, "Did this guy have a mental disease?" My response is that, no, I'm not going through any depression.

I think this post will die out with the current visitors soon. I'm just going to keep blogging away, so come and go as you like. Welcome to my open family, including those who I've offended or don't want to associate with me anymore. I'm starting to see life's experiences can sometimes come at a cost because issues have to always be dealt with. People just can't avoid their personal dramas; it's only going to hit a person the more bigger the more he evades.

Wages of Sacrifice

Our passions have ability to subdue one another,
So why take it out on loved ones and be a bother?
Our tongues are quick to sip sugar and spit venom,
In this day and age, my sins never were a phenom.
I'm struggling daily, just as all of my closest people.
It's not just that I say this to be at best, whimsical.

We are blessed to have nice joys and tribulations,
We belong to God's love, so it's not a stipulation.
Discipline is so that we ought to follow His ways.
Our spiritual lives hang on the balance steadfast.
Words avoid conflict just as easy as getting one.
Times are rough that it can't always be forgotten.

I need to be more mindful of my strong writings.
It has never been of common thread to offspring.
The transactions may really be greatest with one.
Think it would really drag to be a left out person.
Kindness to persons and selfishness never mixes.
Let's never become fooled by the enemies' tricks.

Earltopolis Writer is #1 IDIOT In the World!!!

Times have flowed with ebbing ways.
Lying on world waiting for personal decay.
Smelly body, raggedy clothes ripped up.
Oh nudge me gently with baton, you cop.
Feeling insane in the membrane,
Losing connection with my brain.

The city of Earltopolis has burning foxes,
They burn people's homes, which are boxes.
Rougher winds to spread God's holy fires.
Hey Lord, just personally kick me in the rear.
I'm not the person I'm used to being, am I.
Just keep at it, until he comes back to say hi.

I'm a nobody at heart, seriously the Lord cares.
The attitude of Christ is to take it with fairness.
Personality for me is to sin so much and daily.
Because of God's grace and mercy, let's be merry.
Teach me O Lord, to read the Bible consistently.
Forgive me Lord, I want to be so sin-resistant.

My Legal Catastrophe as A Surgeon

Let's face it, people in life can't be perfect in whatever they try to be good at. Just as a godly parent would always want to look out for their child's best interests, I myself as a doctor made a mistake in socializing with a co-worker. It comes to show that I accidentally left a sponge after performing what I thought was a successful operation. What I mean to put with this post is an analogy, that I made an awesome big boo-boo!

Throughout the three months I've been working there, I've been absolutely selfish by defining my territory there. I chose to willingly pledge myself to be absolutely outspoken about my feelings, whenever a dispute arised. For example, I thought I did a good work by retrieving a document from a very stupid manager who works at UPS. I then try to do a parade march via e-mail and only receive absolute scorn and disapproval from the guy who referred me. Instead of taking it with a lighter context that deals with company policy, I became all moody and started making upright statements of how a worker should behave to demonstrate love to even the customers we were supposed to avoid. This is the treatment that he received from me, especially when he referred me. I have foolishly understated the value of being referred by a friend. I became very prideful about my abilities and at a period, I became dillusional to how I thought it was me that promoted him to a higher position.

Second point to make, I became selfish by feeling like I could write about anything in a fun and loving way. Well, I soon found out it was a fallacious thought. I really take for granted how my stupidity with writing can take me out of being politically correct. No one understands me fully, when I write except for me. I haven't made much effort to solidifying my statements with the absolute charisma and degree of sophistication that I've been aiming towards. That's my flaw, I'm going to continuously be so big-picture oriented and not leave enough details for the crowd to implicitly understand where my position stands. I'm such a very bad writer!

Thirdly, by defining my slippery slope to be that my writing won't have any consequences, I exacted my fullness in personality without paying much thought to details. As I embed many different themes into one paragraph, it's really difficult to abstractly get involved with me the writer. You won't find anyone difficult as me to comprehend. This is my proof: I simply state something and then make up small details to try to justify it. In the past, friends have made oppositional statements like when I say I will grow taller, they say "You won't, it's part of your genes." Here's an axiom, writing can be oxymoronic, meaning you can take the orientation how you want it, subjectively. Subjective offenses can be annoying, hurtful, and disrespectful. Regardless of how the offense is perceived, the absolute truth will still remain! It can so lead to fallacy when one reasons with the heart. During personal Bible reading, we all have our troubling moments, but it ends up with God's Word remaining steady.

Fourthly, it comes to show that I have offended this co-worker several times by writing e-mails that didn't quite fit his boat. I even made a really bad joke without supporting my original intention. Wow, revealing personal information is a really touchy subject that I shouldn't tell. I think I made a mistake in saying this character had his father dying from cancer. I know it's not big a deal to think that my parents will someday die and that how it would be like to have my father die from a life-threatening disease, also. I made no alias or address even though I stated he came from Maryland. He's a no-namer, and I intentionally decided to not reveal this fellow. He's just a friend from Maryland in any case, I should have named him John Smith. My life is just filled with ups and downs in the human perspective because my emotions cause me to sin and enact properly. This is going to evidently push his button, because he's not in the mode for it right now. I'm a really horrible writer, and he states that I know what I was doing. Like I have a conscience with writing something. My intentions are like meaningless because I can't get them across. Taking at face value in an emotional sense, I have to be like "Whoops!" Looking at it in a more logical perspective, I am disinclined to put any feelings into it as no dramatic observation was seen. Well, I may have left a stress mark somewhere in his head and just about ended his life a couple minutes earlier.

The things I did to pay him back for getting a job referral. I'm actually not sensitive to others as I don't really care so much about their feelings, especially if it doesn't affect me at the moment I write. My golden rule is to treat others how you would treat yourself. If someone called me an idiot for having a parent dying from cancer and then coming to California from Maryland. I would have been, "Hey, what's the big idea?" I then would start laughing as I know I felt like I did something wrong. With my perspective which I forgot to mention, too bad I was too tired with a fallacy going on my head. I meant to put a message, stay at Maryland. "Home sweet home." Don't come over to the land of idiots. California has a lot of bad things to it, well; it's an inside joke that I'm sure someone didn't really catch. As you can see, this may very well be thought upon as a fallacy. Just as an offensive feeling could also be from the reasoning of the heart.

I totally disregarded everything by totally looking out especially for my own interests. I wanted to write, man how hard is it to let a guy off the hook for making stupid remarks. I thought I could assume every guy to have a low sensitivity level. I was absolutely mean and inconsiderate to have traveled a direction that would have been bad for both gentlemen and ladies. I've learned a lesson with a better supposition.

Status of My Kingdom

Earltopolis was created originally with the intention of attracting new fans to read my bad writing. It started out as a public stunt, and I don't know now if it will ever get anymore. I'm not someone who really likes to post pictures. More or less, I don't even have a good camera like Jared does anymore.

I think making updates to this site, by making it look more attractive would be cool. I've always wanted to have my own dot.com site. My mind's weak in one matter in that it falls a lot into slippery slopes under a fixated state. For example, at the Angels' Game yesturday hosted by Cynthia and Annie, I found myself parking in a really nice spot. After the game, everything was pitch black and I remembered that I had parked in a corner. Just by telling myself mentally to go to the corner, I walked all the way to the southern end of the parking lot and then started marching on downward. I was like obliturated when I kept on traveling up and couldn't find my car. There were also a lot of moments where I felt I had finally come to my car, only to have been occupied by the lucky party. All these cars were lucky because they were waiting in a line to get out of the parking lot. I felt like crying underneath, and I prayed to God like a baby would.

I then approached an officer and asked him if my car was towed or even possibly stolen. He put me back to my senses by letting me know that cars don't get towed, if the parking fee is not paid for. He also said that the parking scenery looks similar and is pretty common for visitors to get lost in. The game ended at around 10:30 pm, and when I had seen my watch it was approaching 12:00 am. By backflashing, I remembered my orientation at the parking lot, I decided to go back to the hat at the Anaheim Stadium's entrance. I then started heading westward, and lo and behold my jeep started appearing in my sight at the corner. I couldn't help but laugh at myself, and I think another party of two ladies shared a common feat presumptuously, of course.

In the aftermath of this post, I have a lot to learn for managing this kingdom. I could be more time-oriented instead of behavior-oriented. My current endeavors are to play the piano, and my mother agrees with me when I told her that my developing talent on it is a waste of time. I just love playing the piano, and it's just so much fun to hit bad keys on it all the time. Having the thrill of finishing a piece is really hard to associate with in my life. Thinking about it, my personal growth is like the most important for me. I only started viewing life a lot differently, after I started dedicating myself to the Scriptures. Everyday, it seems more than just ordinary. My feet are lit up, thanks to God's Word.

God of Light

Life that came and stirred me by the wind,
The troublesome days of my younger mind.
Everything was played like a game,
The motive was all for great fame.
Flowing zealousness passes over me,
This lovely came as a subjective line of feed.

Now that the past was revisited with fervor,
It comes to show that my sins cause tremors.
I am not the light that shines,
Only a rotting flesh that dies.
Times of execution have passed over.
Possible option is to renew God as a restorer.

I was but a mere rascal tossed over waves,
It came to be verified that my Savior saves.
I've attended because of mercy,
Discovering tons of big liberty.
God's Word will be my only way of life,
Under praises to Him Christ will get tithes.

So Radical

I have like my own writing corner on the web, and noone but me is the person who checks up on it. This is really cool because the internet is rarely a private place. I'm so fortunate in that I can write about anything and people won't really dig trash up on me. Well, almost! I'm not really ready to talk about a sex life or about all the mistakes I've made in talking to girls.

I don't want interesting talks like that haunting me down in the future. I'm just going to play it safe, by just writing about my meaningless thoughts. Time flies by all too soon, and sometimes you just want to pull the winder back. At other times, you just want it to go farther. You know that movie, Click? I don't know why Adam Sandler decides to fast forward through the sexy moments of his life. Man, I would have tried to rewind a lot.

Thinking about it, having a girlfriend would be really nice, but I'm not giving in yet. I know how poor of a guy I am and that I lack so much to be able to fully comprehend and enjoy it. Maybe, my faculty just wasn't meant to ponder about marriage life. I'm probably just a destined bachelor who'll remain happy in whatever challenges he faces in this world.

I'm really starting to think how it would be like to lose my parents. A friend of mine has already lost a father who was battling cancer. I wonder why he chose this route in coming, I think he talked about it, but I forgot to pay attention. Oh well, I guess I'm not his best friend afterall. Haha!

Yeah, definitely. I'm a wierd dude at times, so much that I can't even understand myself. That's not really a good sign of showing. What's really funny is that I'm writing this post, while half asleep. I believe that if I were only back in Freshman College-level English class, then I would done a lot better than what I did laster year.

Thought

This thought is going to be a little mentally disturbing. Just saying so that I can dwindle my reading audience.

I'm realizing that the world sees me as a guy of youth, and someone who they don't need to put too much concern about. It's been a lot of fun to be able to hang out with people's activities. Just having a sense of good time with the right group of people is something that I'm coming to value.

Life is gradually getting faster for me and in a way, I feel like panicking because sooner or later, I'll run out of things to do because I'll be too old. It's important to have a good psyche, as being unhealthy mentally or physically will not contribute to well-being. There's sometimes an issue of selfishness that can get out of hand for some people. They may engage in drug and alcohol parties, promiscuous adventures, and in what they feel are good times.

I think it's wrong for a dude to flick off their ex and chase after new skirts. Our hormones just won't be completely satisfied until we understand a deeper meaning in life. We weren't merely born by "accident", we have a gift of life that's higher than any other species in the world. There's a possibility of having fulfillment, longing, and exuberace at the same time!

Where I'm getting at, is absolutely nowhere. I have this deep sense of longing and satisfaction that can't be found at drinking parties. To be of a roudy sense, I've never really gone that far because of lack of attentiveness to details. Living with life without recognition is pretty tough, especially if all your friends don't seem to be coming across with you.

I've made very bad decisions, especially by feeling prideful in like a holy man sense and then locking myself out with people. My mind just gets so sluggish and, I know this for a fact in that I won't be as sharp as anyone else, if I don't put a lot of effort into it.

Things in my life have looked favorable, but even so I just want to jet. I feel insecure about some things, so if I don't have anything to laugh about, I won't be able to correct myself.

Why I Don't Have What It Takes?

Hmm, let's try to prove this with a contradiction. I will do this by assuming that I do have what it takes. That would make me sound really prideful. Pride is a deadly sin. I do not have any right to feel prideful because of failure to obey God's Word. There is no good thing in me to be able to claim that I have any greatness, big or small.

On my own efforts, I will entirely fail in whatever I wish to accomplish. I'll be miserable and feel empty, even at the highest achievement, such as earning the best grade in the class. I know I've been the top student several times in my school. I didn't feel empowered about doing anything. It was more like a distraction to living in inanimate times. Life just hits you when an enemy strikes you at your core. The heart just becomes so devestated and for me, felt self-destructive. It was characterized with long periods of self-animosity. Does a relationship with God solely depend on insulting ourselves? No, we were made with a purpose in mind. To limit our faith into materialistic satisfactions, is only going to end up in waste after they are subdued, just like any beautiful plants that will chewed by insects and animals.

Flaws that Tame Us All

Living it up down the main road.
Sliding on ice, playing on mud, and standing on sand.
Playful journeys that amuse the soul.
Relaxation, humor, and encouragment for others.
Pride and preferences get in the way of things.
Lifeless at heart, dead in spirit, producing aimlessly.

Lack of concentration which creates hardships.
Mind that flows too easily into sin.
Selfishness that outsmarts, curiousity disengaging us.
Troublesome at heart's value, toughness unperceived.
Personal deceit to pass away a little time left.

Personal Anecdote For Betty

Woo hoo! One hour to lunch and I've managed to finish my work for Friday! Yes, I feel like I've done so much. I secretly know that I could do more work, as the supervisor gave me. Shhh, it's a secret. The people in my group are not really doing that work and so I'm joining in with the census. Hey, if you can't beat them up then might as well join them. I'm having a lot of fun at this job. I feel like my eloquence has been getting better as of late.

I think by the grace of God, I've been promoted with a pretty socializing job. The majority of workers are women here and so that has got to make some sense! It's with a little humor that I feel shy and also down and out with taller women, at times. Oh well, that's just the way it really is. I'm really starting to realize that most women don't really care about an individual's height, as long as you possess the ability to suit their needs.

I think the women who speak out and lay out the things they are looking for are in the minority. These women used to seem so prominent to me. Because a person is short and without star-studded looks, it doesn't mean you can't enjoy good conversations with attractive ladies. It just takes a little guts and in most cases, a little humor with your situation you find yourself in. It's really all about relaxing and enjoying yourself. I think the serious matters are things you really don't have to worry about, until it's time to mutually give in yourselves.

Hmm, I think for me to really be able to start growing, yes growing (!), I have to feel stability in everything about myself. It may get a little embarrassing for me to have to deal with my personal opinions of countenance. I think humorizing the situation and enjoying the challenge makes it really exciting for me. In a way, it's God's blessing to be where I'm at. The Lord knows everything in our hearts and will supply those needs more than just abundantly, if we seek him with all our hearts. A Proverb mentions, you reap what you sow, so think big!

Early Boy

Note to the brave reader: I used to be nicknamed Early Dog. I am now Early Boy. That's right I'm not a degenerate species, but created to have the highest amount of grace from God. Right now, life is looking a little bit more smoother.

I notice that my transformation started happening by submitting to the will of God through the Scriptures. It's been really difficult to realize its spiritual power on me. By only simply obeying Him, I've gained several spiritual blessings that I would have possessed sooner, if I only relented with serving my flesh.

I believe that life is a lot more subtler for me, and even though, I'll fall by doing evil things and turn away from Christ, there's this sense of deep satisfaction with having a relationship with God.

How could we have a relationship with someone we can't see? It's basically determined by convictions of the Holy Spirit. When we are under the glory of sin and the high points of it, we simply harden our hearts stubbornly. This means that the result is a lack of spiritual discernment. I think it's important to pray with the Lord about any concerns you have, before getting lost in a selfish world.

I know of how some new believers will be faced with the knowledge of falling Christians and generous non-Christians. As God created us for a purpose, it's not hard to see that each person is uniquely different and have strengths and weaknesses. Our flesh is weak, and therefore; at one point in our lives, we mustered disapproval of God's ways just as turning against our father's advice. In fact, not one of us have stayed perfect, as Romans 5 implies. The new Christians do look for support, encouragement, and are testing the waters. It's through our failing flesh that we are unable to administer to their needs, effectively. That's why all believers, old and new aside, we have to be in constant prayer for the Lord to supplicate the Body of Christ, which could be your loved ones.

Good Things Will Never Come To An End

Why? Because I said so. Details? Well, you get married, have a family, end up with a job you love, hang out with those special friends, grow old with your soul mate, do things to enjoy yourself, live at the peak of your life at all times, constantly feel peace and sense of mind, bring up others out of trouble, be in everlasting hope, resolve a lot of conflicts and drama, pray about your loved ones, die a happy person into an eternal kingdom with God's presence.

How do I know this is real? It's because faith is as authentic as what you physically see in yourself. The Word is active and transforming lives. This isn't some wishful thinking because results are actually happening. It's true that people can't change into superman or Wonder Woman and do amazing things for themselves and the good of this world. Our nature is evil as we grow into making those selfish choices and continue to dwell in solely our heart's desires, at times.

...to be continued

2 Food For Thoughts

1) The best way to be successful at the top of the food chain is to make rational descisions, while knowing the respective system exhaustively.

2) A "Work in progress" label is always a good thing!

The mind of meish

Meish is not a very new concept for me. He's very selfish by the way and thinks of himself very highly, at times even more stronger than God. His heart is so small and can't even contain a baby fist's amount of love for others. He's such a bad person, who can't get around life. He needs to always feel like he's dominating over others in every occupation. He's such a poor sport and can't live without pleasing himself and only him. He finds it joyful to play by himself and to be around no one.

He enjoys making others feel like they're fools. He gets angry for all the wrong reasons and judges contexts with the wrong meaning, especially if it's positive feedback from nice people. He puts no proper effort into everything and expects to be blessed like a genius. He's too greedy for life and doesn't want others to experience the golden times ahead of him.

Nothing pleases him, everything comes and goes for him. Not one thing can take away his lusts for power and domination. To him, getting along with people is a compromise. Meish has not a good thing left in his soul.

He thinks he is the most wonderful person in the world. There is no one like him, he's like God's one-of -a-kind. He thinks that he has all the power in the world and thinks that he'll go anywhere or do anything like God can.

Whenever these feelings go away, he goes about brainwashing himself to feel these delusional thoughts again. The world is supposed to be centered all around him. His parents can't figure him out because they are too perplexed by his moodiness. He's the tamed untamable. He's like let loose into the wild where no one can ever come into contact with him. His world is all about making himself feel pumped up.

There's really no one for him to please except himself. Nobody can really live up to his expectations, like he does in his mind. His pride level is way off the mark and because of it, no one can really attribute to where his happiness lies from.

ALLERGIC EYES GONE WILD

I guess I'm reaching allergy season for the summer. Like this is big news for some people! I plan to pop in one Clariton tablet daily to help give me balanced living again. In addition, I'm also experiencing a little headache. I'm just wondering how it would feel like to be an adolescent girl going through a few agonizing mood swings, along with my tantrum-making allergies!

My eyes feel pretty dry, so I think I will try to get some eye drops and get a little more shut eye. It's pretty strange how things are for me. I feel really physically weakened by having this allergy attack. Perhaps, I just need to relax today because it's probably a cold. Or maybe, it's just another coincedence. Ah ha, I'm so out of it that my mind is getting really incoherent!

I think it's really stupid if a guy relies on his emotions and then starts attributing details with it. This is just a random thought from feeling moody, right now.

Hmm, let's get random and funky again! This is where I tell the world to shut off their monitor so that I can type my most intimate thoughts (yeah right!) No one is really reading this post right now. Gosh, my posts are really dumb to look at. I shouldn't even be guaranteed any room in the Cy-berrr whooorld (try to say it with an echo-like voice in your head).

There are just too many things happening for me, yeah uh huh! Let's bring on the desensitized but sensitive people to read this post and laugh out loud at my stupidity.

Dee daum daw dwee dul dee dum. Okay, I'm going really far-fetched. I'm like traveling to a new universe without smelling pig's feet. Whoo, I'm off of work now. Enough messing around with myself forrrr nowww (imagine a voice-like echo in the back of your head saying this).

Yikes

I'm really feeling something down below here. I can't really pinpoint it to any generalizations. Nor do I know what the end result will be like. What I do feel is a positive expectation that will leave me becoming a better person. I'm really trying to hone in these days with the small things in life- all those little details that I'm used to brushing off.

There's been a little trouble with my mood swings. I'm not sure if it happens when an allergic reaction is about to make me go ballistic! The source is somehow really difficult to circumscribe into understanding pretenses. Figuratively, I am binded with a consistent bias that atrophies at times but enumerates again into a bigger shield.

I'm around a lot of tough breaks. It's very difficult to follow suit with the right course of action for me. I really want to be righteous before the Lord. I know God's love is unconditional no matter what we do. It's pretty much up to ourselves to fully commit our hearts with any spiritual investments.

Living in a world where sin dominates us, I really feel that many miss out on opportunities to become more intimate with God. More or less, our limited wisdom becomes a snare to us as we harden our hearts even more to unsightly premises.

I think that the Lord will work on my heart. Sooner or later, possibly in about two years or more (!), I will have a satisfying answer unconditionally.

What should I complain about today?

That's a pretty good question. Why don't you just tell me. I'm finding it a little hard (this is my complaint) to recognize people's problems. I'm just not gifted enough to settle down and really reason through all these transitions that occur in life. What I think we happen to do is really try to get others to settle with our biases by trying to use evidence. That makes things very interesting and a lot of fun to want to go out and read other people's work.

I think that I'm not really a full time loser.

Earlbabilla-Language of Babbling Earl

Blah blah, blah!
Oh, boo bah, mumbah. Bloober blooba, gumpa, grumpa, amepa.

Ump, mump, funk, loonk, grook, afruck, groogy.
Liva, lover, limpa, lifa, loorka, moo poo, fa sah.

Aww, another two minutes of randomness. I'm getting pretty good at recognizing transitions. I need to use this to my advantage when reading. I think it's kinda nice to be a dude studying physics.

There are so many advantages to having a smart head. It's so much fun to open your eyes and see a entirely different perspective. I know that I'm not that smart, and I know that I'm not worthy of a good wife.

In general, I don't think I deserve to live in accordance to God's standards. I think loosening up has been a key focus for me. Learning to communicate my misjudable ideas has been leading me somewhere.

I guess when I really filled with the Holy Spirit, I really see something that's different. I can't believe that my body can really produce a work that I'm having a hard time to construct. Gee, I do have some really funny posts. I think having this style is really nice.

The Wanderer

This man has payed a heavy price for his servitude.
He labored and became promoted with more bondage. Everyday did not seem to be a happy day because his reward was not what he expected. Day in and day out, barely making end's meet. He would pay off his tenant and barely have enough to support his own shoulders.

Disaster struck him, a highly irresponsible girlfriend wouldn't walk out on his life. He just wanted some space and then the unthinkable happened to him. She broke up with him and not the other way around. It's his world and not anyone elses. No one is supposed to invade on his personal territory. It's all about his happiness and nobody else.

This man has a weakness and that's a soft spot. He can't seem to do anything right sometimes. He feels that his best friends will shield these personal portrayals of what is really inside of him. It's true that he's a very sensitive man, who indulges in promoting his opinons about the most banal details of life. It's a talent that offsets some women, and they try to draw near him for comfort. These women are slightly insecure with themselves and share a style of scorn that enlivens their days with this man.

He is now a wanderer. A nomad. A man with no family and home at work. A person on a quest to find a higher wage at the same company. He has no desk! He is now a subset worker to a vacant desk. He's a chameleon.

Earl's World- No Way- B.S. Land

Baloney sandwiches anyone? I don't really care any more about this site. Nobody cares to read my stupid posts. I'm just going to type whatever the heck I feel like typing, without cursing. I don't believe in cursing because it makes me feel bad inside. It's like you would be mad, if someone started laughing at you if you said the S. or the F. word, after something major bad thing happened. I know that I made a close friend of mine mad for doing that.

Alright, it's keep away from my personal life. If you look deeper into these blogs, you will notice the unnecessary details about my life. How I just mess around and type whatever depressing thoughts that fills up my head. Boy, I totally wish I listened a whole heck of a lot more. Something really stubborn inside of my small head wasn't functioning right. I guess there you have it, the candid me. Always trying to be a good sport, even with no one around.

I'm really rolling around these thoughts that are taking me nowhere. That's a really bad habit for me. I think I need to learn to just think outside the box and accept the way things are! I can't fully control how others are going to be like, even though I meant the purest intentions. My heart is still capable of dealing evil 24-7. I admit it that I've fallen from the glory of God. I'm just another dummy vagabonding God's turf. It's amazing how much freedom exists, during the creation of the New Testament.

I'm a lost creature without being in God's presence. Where I see myself in comparison to Jesus is that I'm a complete nobody worthy of having my insignificant life cut-off by the Lord. I'm such a faulty person, who is still gullible to the reasons that make me give in to my temptations. But then again, God has gifted me with the ability to laugh at my own sorrows. I can seriously feel for other's pains, sometimes.

To be able to withhold enough content in my head and analyze it, gives me an advantage that most guys have. I think women will get caught up emotionally and therefore, stay mainly with details. Gosh, I remember how stupid I was and looked smart outwardly.

Right Side Of My Face

A lot of settling ideas are finally flowing through my mind. It's frankly odd how everything fits together at once, how what you didn't see under your nose is actually pestering you like a repercussion. Staring through the mirror, I found a flawed self-perception of me. I ended up praying to the Lord, while turning my head over to reflect the ugly side.

I'm really grateful for my life and content with the different skin patches that are over my body. It's amazing to see how even the smallest details of myself are comprehended by my creator. Reflecting on this event, it does feel wasteful to have been standing around just giving awe to my shiny pimple scars. It's also been quite a struggle from not feeling accepted for my outside appearance. Trying to think outside the box, I realized that my life had scars from not being content with my body. I recall my art teacher assigned a writing assignment to describe our face, and I think, if it were now, I would have really submitted something like this one I'm posting.

I thought something that might have been immoral; I attributed my looks by feeling my parents weren't very good-looking. I went on to allude from this event that I'm the son of a fool and that my mother hasn't made the best decisions in life, too-so as a result, here I am! I can partially back up my beliefs about my dad, who constantly went way, over-board arrogant about his looks and abilities. My dad reminded me of a big talker who had nothing to show for his wife. Painfully, the Bible says that God will punish parents' offspring up to the fourth generation. I wonder if I've been cursed with my appearance.

I really have this loose feeling of how insecure individuals will want to strive for plastic surgery. I think having differences as a whole in facial features is beautiful! To minimize on what nature intended only conveys to humanity the shallowness in our hearts. I also think struggling is a part of life; I still toss out feelings of inferiority when I mindlessly compare myself to other's appearances. To really come to terms with myself and enjoy my facial features has been a true blessing. Knowing that if I were in the time of Moses, I would have been pronounced unceremoniously clean and unfit to be a handsome priest.

It's totally fine, and there's nothing better than being able to laugh it off. I feel that too many have a journey in life and simple goals to achieve. We're living in a different society now, where looks hardly talk. There are very few gorgeous people out there, who will never reach into your neighborhood. This makes me really appreciate a person with striking personality, regardless of prettiness not your taste, a whole lot more.

From looking at my face in the mirror and capitalizing the moment, I see that there's a lot more to life than just staring and complaining to self how you want to change your looks. I'm sure a few people will say "Case closed, I'm not good-looking (-hint: you are more uglier than me)". Gosh, many people are so business-minded up in Wall Street; they aren't focusing on their flaws but only keeping themselves feeling good and making the big bucks! Many guys want to get into the big leagues by buying a pretty girlfriend. Well, news flash- she won't be so pretty, if you get worn out with her.

Life doesn't have to be so complicated. It's about being in good health and loving those who care for you. That's how I think most people see life as. Here's a thought, Jesus loves you and forgave you for your sins! Yes, he's our Savior. Every one of us have sinned and turned away from God at one point of our life. We are all guilty of capital punishment- death! God denounced all of our sins and judged us to be unworthy of existing, but God sent His only Son to die on the cross to take away our burden. You can accept Christ into your life, by saying a simple prayer:
"Jesus, I confess to you that I'm a sinner. I accept you as my Savior, please come into my heart and help me become what you want me be. Amen." Congratulations! Next, pick up the Bible and start reading away note: you should be going to attending a fine, Bible teaching church. May God be with all of you!

Manifesto Fridge

The first thing that goes on my mind, when I open the Manifesto Fridge is "Wrahhhhhh! I need to manifest." People at my work are pretty crazy about manifesting. They are like mutating into some superheros. An old guy at my work is battling diabetes. It was really interesting to see him carry around this trash cap, and really fling it at his boss.

Wow, Samoans are really dominant, like I heard that the evil Samoan Brothers tag-team was born to a nomadic tribe battling evil demons. They were really buffed up with all that devil meat. The reason for bringing Samoans up is because there's someone here whose like the next Wonder Woman! She really has it her way, like her voice can travel a thousand miles to shock the receiving party. You should really see her work it, especially during the morning time.

Hey, I'm a superhero too. I just fly away, all I really have to do is just close my eyes. I have these ultra-sensor X-rays in my eyes that can remove every bit of clothing with attractive ladies. Note, this only happens occasionally when I close my eyes. It's amazing what studying anatomy does for you. I sometimes open my eyes feeling like a numbskull for ever having seen some images that are not really there.

Party Time

Well, this post is supposed to be a secret. It's a secret location. All the cool people are going to be there, and I get to go. I'll be around only the best people in the world you could possibly get to know. We'll be all in cool clothes and dance around to the best music.

This place is also known to be one of the most exotic beach locations. My body is working into shape, so I'll be on a surf boad with some shapely muscles. Gosh, I'm so good looking! I can make everyone feel good about themselves. I have this gift to elevate moods twenty-four hours, a day.

What's even cooler is that I don't have to be buzzed to enjoy a nice outing with the ladies. They are just about the most beautiful girls in the planet! If I need to, I have a great place to crash at too. The fuzzy warm bed, and the silky pajama will be laid out for me.

It's going to a fun night of fellowshipping with long lost friends. We are going to play hard until we all drop dead for the night. I'm going to be the master at Salsa dancing, I'll be grooving the floors. I'll be twisting two partners to a judge and have a good chance of receiving high marks at a contest!

Work Oblivion

Work oblivion has come all over me. My inbox is filled with e-mails throughout the week, if I don't clean it, I'll get hundreds, daily. I could actually make deleting my manager's e-mails a career.

I'm a freight forwarder at work. I frustrated a shipper, which is highly rare. They are usually the ones screaming at me for not getting their faxes.

I'm calling up all these shippers, and some of them tell me stuff that's nonsense. I don't know what it really is that makes me feel uncomfortable.

I guess I'm not very assertive enough yet, because I'm still new to the job. It's been only two months. There are so many details that I need to be able to handle. Losing focus only means a subtle error about to happen.

When I'm on the phone, I feel like my voice is like a crow's. I speak so soft that the shipper might actually nag me to stop talking. He then goes off tangent to make me stop, until I hang up!

I feel like such a duface at my job. I'm the only one dressed up during casual day. I say to everyone, "Oh, I'm just doing this for fun." I have like nothing but good clothes to wear to work. My other clothes are too crumby to show up in public.

I glare at the computer screen all the day long to yellow, red, and blue texts! My mind is like rewiring itself to see all black and white. My work just feels plain preposterous.

I'm packing on some weight at my desk, too. I have a sick patch hidden under my desk. I can't close my eyes and get some shut eye.

I have to be a one of a kind to survive in this field. It's so much work, everyday all I can think about is work. It can get so mundane like playing Tetris all day. Visualize the tetris pieces falling in stacks, and you never die. It's chaos! Literarily, I have to desolve like an infinite amount of lines.

Lunch time rolls, I'm so lonely. I'm like so happy to leave for a little bit, but then again sad. I run out of time so fast because my restaurant I'm eating at is so far. It's like a thirty-minute wait to get set up for lunch. Okay, half way there. Before I finish, it's time to get back.

Work starts again, all the agony starts piling. All those feelings in talking to mean shippers makes me want to go diarrhea. It's worse, I can't go to the bathroom. So much work needs to be done, the deadline is approaching.

As the day ends, I feel like an unrippened fruit. I don't feel satisfied enough. I need to start all over again to do work again.

The secret to life itself is to remain poor in spirit. Matthews 5:3 states "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is in the kingdom of God." Jesus walked this earth nearly two millenniums ago claiming to be the sole comforter of social outcasts. He performed miracles, dined with sinners, and aroused animosity with religious, influential leaders. He provoked the hearts of men to remove their pride, lust, and deceitfulness to show we all are sinners. In churches today, there are those who claim to be Christians and are entirely dead to Christ.

It comes to my realizations that when Christians stand up for their faith, it's because of the Holy Spirit that emboldens them.

What develops society by way of people's perceived thoughts, belief systems, and beliefs?

Humanity's history of ideas have served to be a system that can be faulty in making generalizations, thanks to tyrants. For example, it is highly arrogant of a ruler to think he has the ability to tap into the minds of others. In my opinion, people have tried to act prideful to veil their true meaningless status. Illusions and distractions can serve as delightful devices to disregard the passing of life, itself. In today's mainstream, people are accepting striptease amounts of wicked pleasures. Rationality only ironically appears to give these perpetrators protection from disapproving parties. Life is often modeled down into a sandbox, where a child plays with sand and than becomes an adult who can socially manipulate others in his playing field. Often times, hopes can never really establish itself, as people struggle to survive. Life's roles are basically summarized by frail hopes and fleshly desires.

This is so convenient, and yet so embarrassing.
There are several sacrifices, I am making.
I can really let go of my privacy by writing on this internet.
It can be stupidity, but I have just another wireless medium.

I'm realizing the amount of time I spend on with everything.
The value of proper instruction can really expedite process.
To be taught with whatever that's required is going to pass.
Creating my reaping with friends has surely been a delight.

I'm starting to come back alive, and realizing my potential. In the dead scenery of life that I've abandoned for half-a-decade, I feel as though I've lost all the typical desires we are seeking. I felt really tense inside all those years for an unresolved difficulty. It's just from being lost in my flesh and resorting to lesser evil sins. I never really did have full comfort with myself; it's as if I really felt I needed to be on top of my priorities. I really hit a few states where I became a slave to my lifestyle. I was forcing myself to stay up all night to study, right after playing long hours of fun video games. I can't seem to vision myself anymore, as the type who can do what I used to.

I see a totally new perspective in my life; just because I saw myself as short and fat in high school doesn't mean much in the big picture of this world. I came to really appreciate my above normal body parts, compared with my taller friends. Last year, I toned down a whole lot and reached a very skinny weight. If I had been the weight I am now, then I would not have passed an athletic fitness test. I totally wish that I had fulfilled one thing in all those passing years. I really needed to get enough hours of sleep, which I really never managed to do so consistently. My flesh was so constantly excited for downloading porn and playing video games. I was only putting a whole lot of effort to read the Bible, exercise, study, and hang out with friends. I never had this emotional bonds to these things; I was so afraid from having lost a few best friends and prized possessions.

No title, so tired.
A two liner will do for this post.
(Good night to you, and hope you sleep many days until you never get up.)

*Sniff Sniff

It appears that my fortune is running dry. My total school life could be a complete waste in that I didn't give into it enough. I remember all those all nighters I pulled to barely pass my exams and meet the deadline. I never actually had a sufficient amount of sleep. If I could go back in time, I would have tried a more rigorous major. I think that I didn't put enough of my time and effort into this major. It feels like that it doesn't match my criteria.

I'm looking for a different way of living, besides dwelling inward with just ideal assumptions. I loved video games and researching on how to build the best computer with my money so being a computer scientist would the best career choice for me. I could try to be like Bill Gates and make a whole ton of cash. I thought it was all wonderfully planned out, but things weren't just following through for me.

Just More Randomness

1. My mom is becoming good at Sudoku. Sudoku is a game where you match unique numbers 1 to 9 in nine rows and columns and 3 by 3 boxes.

2. I feel very solemn at the moment for some pretentious reason.

3. I wish that I could write with more inspiration. Today, I felt a lot of it by attending church services.

4. Who cares about confessing yourself, but reflecting on stupidity online?

5. You know, there is no need for me to leave my quarters to attend a book store or library for study, if my own room has a spacious desk.

Wakes of Genius

Personal anthem to the progress-ables.
Touch of light to sharpening iron.
Drops of purity to stainless steel.
Antagonists from the lake of fire,
Enraging with lustful power and hatred.

O wake thyself, come back to the meek light.
Tests of courage and honorable badges of acceptance.
Ignore the indiscernible, find thine spiritual shield.
To what Is, open up the gates of insurmountable hearts.
Fly higher than any enemy with the wings of God!

Naughty Days

Temperamental situations unfolding itself,
Wallowing whiskers and a frown on a bunny's face.
Slivery tongues that are savvy to the entertain-able.
Wages made a little too short on a full day's end.
Cloche me this, cloche me that; it's livelihood.
Sensible breaches to the logistical head with beautiful sight.

What's your typing speed?

My typing speed is not so hot. Some think 66-70 words per minute is pretty high. I'm not so sure about that. I do make a lot of mistakes though. My typing speed is sufficient enough for me to hit the backspace key a lot. I have done quite of blogging now. This is like my 315th post in about two years. I'm trying to reach 360 mark. Looks like I'll be hitting it sometime soon, if I remain consistent enough.

How can one practice for a typing test? It's really good to warm up your fingers with crazy phrases. It really helps to get your mind working for that big promotion. If you go on your favorite search engine and type in typing test, you'll get plenty of links to go take a free typing test. Nowadays, a smart computer user just needs to type in what he is looking for on a search engine, and surely enough it pops up.

I really like services like Amazon and Froogle (Google's experimental engine). I also enjoy lots of other e-business things such as Ebay and Pricewatch.com, which really help ease how much you spend your money.

Alright, I just went off tangent with today's topic but what the heck, it's so much fun to type whatever the heck I feel like typing. Have a nice day!

Eeeee!

I have lots of stuff to do.
Keeping self occupied.
Always things to do, boredom shouldn't kick in.
Friends busy as well, me too incompatible.

Millions of drawbacks, I see.
Fear of nothingness, quitting so easily?
Have school today, almost forgot.
Priority looking not so straight.

My business is great, glorifying my God.
Believing in things fleshly humanoids can't handle.
Feelings of being in advantageous situations.
Personal strength comes from my weaknesses.

Feels sort of like eternity

Minutes wasting by, sitting at my desk.
Outside the window, a sight to behold.
Life is strolling down the nasty alley.
Intelligence over incapacitated body.

Prior wisdom that causes setbacks.
Focusing on other things for distractions.
Repentance over poor transgressions.
Minuscule changes to greet better circumstances.

Betta aquarium w/ mini heater

I received a new mini heater via fast shipping. Total price with priority mail shipping was under $14.

The Betta took an unexpected pace of life once I installed the thermostat. I notched it up to maximum heat it could emit. The atmosphere changed a little by noticing the cap was fogged up. Keep in mind this aquarium is about 1.5 gallons, and I'm taking the liberty to raise two male beauties.

To elaborate on one success, there's a compartment to separate them. The shape is in a combination of two 3/4 gal aquariums. Despite the lack of tank water, it suits nicely on my messy desk. My original intention was to keep the desk organized and get me up to maintain wildlife. Surprisingly, the power gives off a banal scent to nicely baked toast to help jump-start the early morning. I'm glad the seller advertised it as a non-immersible thermostatic heater. The 50 watts of heated power packs a punch to my puny aquarium. This heater is amazingly good for up to ten gallons, I'm assuming it should be submerged.

I sure feel like one heck of a child abuser to these fish by limiting their space though. If these survive my mediocre, expected life expectancy, I will be sure to marry at least one of them off. I will provide a bigger aquarium so they can swim to their apartment and office simultaneously.


The downside is no numbered dial to this product, which I was hoping for. Here's the description:

ELITE MINI THERMOSTATIC HEATER

* 50 Watts
* 6" (15 cm)
* Ideal for small fresh or salt water aquariums
* Accurately maintains aquarium temperature
* Sure-Grip rim attachment
* One year guarantee (through the manufacturer)
* NON-SUBMERSIBLE

Accurately maintain water temperature in fresh and saltwater tanks! Their "Sure-Grip" frame attachment and compact size fit most standard aquariums. Convenient pilot light lets you see when the unit is on. Non submersible.

PRODUCT #: A-731
MANUFACTURER'S SUGGESTED RETAIL: $9.90

Photo of my beta aqaurium

Tada, post #310

If I keep up with this enthusiasm, I'll reach my goal of 365 or better yet 366 on a leap year! Alright, that didn't make any sense. I'm still a little tearful from my last post, getting a little emotional in fact. What should I write about today, how my sister's roommates look hot?! Or it could be about freeloading off their overstocked fridge. Yeah, I'm living the high life. It's just plain cool decent people try to be nice, and you can take advantage by asking for free goods. I've met a few retarded people and have actually needed to get fed up with them. I'm not talking learning retarded, but more like them annoying me as an ass. Those were the good old college days and living with that roommate who seems to always ruin the fun for you.

Passing Professor

I received an e-mail today from Cal Poly Pomona that Dr. Peter Laszlo died. I'm not sure what to really think of it. It's really sad that I thought he was a young and energetic man with freakish gray hair. All I can really hope is that his family was filled with inspiration from him. I'm a little saddened that life just passes on so quickly. Just a little touched that I'm not supposed to take the good things in life for granted. I've heard mixed feelings about him from staff and other students. I'm guessing that he ended up going to the wrong side of the road. Boy, my writing is so lousy because I'm not throwing out junk that I shouldn't keep.

Things that Count

People, houses, cars, jobs, hobbies, education, food, clothing, drinking water, clean air, sun, comfort, intelligence, confidence, satisfaction, happiness, love, selflessness, meekness, health, rest, prayers, beliefs, order, peace, and harmony

Dang

Dang! My professors treated me as a celebrity, except for one. Nice guys, most of them all were. I think if I lose 20 pounds now, I will be a lot more active and smarter.

Running Out of Ideas

Gee, I've written almost 365 posts.
Never thought it would be so hard to post everyday.
It's like thinking to yourself that you could read the Bible everyday.
Relaxation and tolerance to frustration, very key to success.
Weak-minded and unbuffed up, thinking gone out of extremes.

A know nothing, catching on slowly type of person.
Connecting on to people's output streams.
Processing my deliberations, delivering the goods.
Catching and then throwing personal jealousies.
Personally, things are a little out of whack.

Reserved individual, tired of unmerciful scolding.
They attack the sensitive region of my body.
Letting out my own steam, detracting myself.
Too much differences and conflicts.
Lots of major issues, a harsh learning environment.

Complaints and many more of them coming soon,
To a living room near them.
Sporty oppositions.
Fight, fight, fight.
School's alma mater.
The end.

New Heart

Frustrating moments, unbearable so too bad.
Emotional problems this one person has.
Knowledge or confidence in self beaten senseless.
Walk of life through a new bourne humbleness.
Acceptance of past misdeeds, ignorance thrown out.

My Retirement From Video Games

Active on service all my life.
Diligent soldier swiftly blasted off to the skies.
Arms and legs badly bruised and burnt off.
Partially decapitated, stiff-back and neck at my retirement party.
Arms tied in a knot like I was in a straight-jacket.

My pronunciations are nothing but babble.
"Buh buh, viv gamma whorl," I've had a phenomonal blast.
I jetted up in excitment and finished off the enemy.
Bye bye video game world.

Not Bad

Hah, hugs and kisses, eww...
Inner sighs of lifeless loves.
Boredom that hits with a killing streak.
Locked in a personal cage, all from one's choices.
Head which uses air should remain still.

Body that adjusts to survival, to standards.
Unique individuals, gifted senses, the envied.
Vacation in all the four seasons, trouble-making!
Web of ebb to a dweeb like me-ca-bob.
Kidding around, basically joking about my aimlessness.

Bah

It's 3:30 am and I just feel like writing about something. I'm not very well polished and centered with good writing. It's all good, just think happy and positive. You know, writing about bollucks and seeing the possibility that people will read it gives me the runs. I'm not centering in on a good topic and not even doing this with any point in mind. Breaking it down into little pieces, my life is centered around being successful in a nutshell. I want everything and yet to hold it all back. I'm a youngster and developing my brain, my environment is suited for me to speak up. I feel like I'm writing naive sentences, I just want to write rich and in fine detail like well-woven linen. I want to make sense in something that I do. I don't want to be ashamed of what I've become nor afraid to accept my weaknesses. All of us can know only seven things at once, imagine what survival of the fittest does to us. Seven is such a holy number and well-favored throughout history. Ancient sages formed together the seven wonders of the world. It is also a lucky number to many people.

Unordered Reasons #1

Procrastination has its value, well sure it gives us more time to munch entertainment and chit-chat with our love bird. To address a stupid scope of things (my excuse to be off-centered), sometimes descriptions can be very funny when confirmed visually from a context. Does it mean that I'm just plain stupid for making a little thing longer than it seems with words? Probably so, in that my writing really sucks. I don't mind the attention that I receive from strangers, who critically tear me to pieces. Reading about people's complaints are so funny. One of the professors at my former university lives on a wheelchair and wrote a public letter, which you could search on Google. It's basically a very detailed and long description about his displeasure going on a cruise. I actually went to this guy's lecture, and here I was reading this freaking well-written letter when in fact his grammar was so lousy to his students. I couldn't help but laugh when he was literally describing himself on a wheelchair. Here's this guy who brings up so well-argumented ethical discussions, but now that I think of it, it could just be centered on trying to not be asonine with his complaints.

Believe me, I hate other's people comedy and I'm like so egotistical about my funniness but sometimes can't help it. People don't really laugh when I think it's funny, don't know why. Maybe I'm just a left-handed, farfetched imbecile who believes in joking with good manners. People like literally take me seriously and at some ends, they totally disregard my comments. There's also this case where if I say stuff, people laugh at me when I'm not in a jokeful mood. It doesn't hurt now, and I held it in for so long. I get a lot of chances to be straight-forward, mainly on the telly. I guess that kind of interaction is meant for practical stuff, but on the outside surface with everybody, it's just plain cool to be yourself.

Corny life

Computer games, my addiction.
Dumb as it sounds, a gamer on the run.
Piano music that pains every living soul.
Horrific banging noises to life's most delicate pieces.
Just one game per day, not five-hundred cigarettes in a day.
To be the very best at time-management.

Results that are worth knowing,
Hackers that ruin deceptively good-looking software.
No payment by regulars but dumb merchants.
City of this great place for strikers.
Movement of medicinal dosages with stupid games.

Computers, technologies, what's the use?
Only to bring more misery in this God-forsaken world.
Its number-crunching brings in more harder problems to solve.
Ignorance that was once valued, but not anymore because of machines.
Hail to the machine king!

Liver swapping, heart doners, machine givers!
Side-effects and protections of complaints.
River-dancing til noontime, hazing the new Sundance kid.
Reaping rewards of nothing but bittersweet treats.
My sobbing lives on forever.
Places of refuge-that old friend's treehouse.

Ding, ding, ding.
My doorbell just rang.
Click, click, click on the mouse.
Drive yourself away, change your pace.
Freedom at last from my laments.

How does it feel like to be a gamer?

I don't want to get so personal with the internet, and I'm not going to become friendly with my computer now. A friend who has the name of a state, Washington claims that video games are unproductive. In other words, it should then make me feel like a fool for playing Starcraft or Diablo all day long right? Wrong, I like video games and I don't think there's anything wrong with them. It's something I do to fill up the emptiness I have in me, way better than saying "Bottom's up" at a bar. A huge problem with drinking is like playing too many games- the emptiness doesn't go away! Sticking with a game so obsessively becomes boring, but is much safer for your check account than obsessing over well-off ladies! It's a little odd to like the entire nation that a gamer feels like attached to the world with a simple game, right at home. Those computer geeks had to bring their imaginations to life somewhere, with Ultima and other BBS games. Computer geeks marry well off though, and their spouses might complain why they don't go out enough. A gamer is just born to be a stay-at-home guy. Instead of dozing off to a movie based off a romantic novel, I could bare watching it with my sugar babe while playing my hand-held Sudoku game- with the lights on, off course.

Now moving on to the lighter side about gaming, it's just plain cool to be proud that you are an addict and can say you're not a druggie. Coming home from a stressful school day and your brain is just about tired, instead of falling asleep you have to meet up for example, with your online bud (I did say I'm not too friendly with the internet) and complete a time-consuming quest until supper. It relieves a lot of that bad grogginess within yourself and is worth getting scolded by my mom. My mom is a killer on the lose when I mind my gaming business and don't give her the attention she needs. It's not everyday that a poor, average guy can feel he's worth something by completing a tough role-playing mission. To conclude, gamers are very passionate about it and consistent intelligent people who will grow up to rule this world. They find entertainment elsewhere from being a couch potato or a music-share hunter. Gamers are clearly focused about their mission and will lead them to view themselves in a CEO's shoes.

Dating Tips and anti-porno life

Dating Tips

I just hate porn these days, let's be honest. The world thinks that the internet revolves around porn, a multi-billion dollar industry. I'm going to be blunt and this isn't meant for offending some, pornography gives people the idea to go masturbate freely! Masturbation satisfies alot of people temporarily and then the excitement leaves. It gives some nutjobs the desire to destroy a perfectly innocent girl's dreams, hopes, will to live, childhood, education, healthy family and relationships, friendships, assertiveness, ideas, and to top it off; add to her current struggles. It's just plain mean to watch someone's sex tape that's gone out of hand. I admit that I've been a passive jerk all my life, all because of my stupid decisions!

To see myself dead in the water and resuscitating over small matters, I don't think we all have time to engage in masturbation. Trust me, in time your perfect wife can fix your premature state. Can't get tired of a working marriage, but will get tired of imperfect porn stars. The smarter choice is obvious, sacrifice the worse for the better. Just as a chess player would sacrifice his pawn for a knight anyday. It's just more pure to not to rush to masturbate and to enjoy the ultimate experience with an attractive woman. Porn will neuter you, and take away the sense of sharing everything with your closest friend in a marriage. For some advice to adult film addicts, try to make room for a trip to an accurate Bible-teaching ministry.

Siblings to Drunkness to Bad Parenting

Lively blood, a girl and boy like two rively clans.
Family in blood, no friends just acquaintances at heart.
Respect lies in one direction, from younger to older.
Poison that spits out of the mouth, fighting and grieving.
Just need to ask with a cool personality, then just about anything.
Watching and awaiting, songs of pure love that conquers all fears.

Out of mainstream, who can sometimes blame their bad norms.
Honesty lies with judgement at heart, nicer is the stronger.
Lack of communication skills with both parties, boringness in one.
Attempts to be conniving, manipulative, and acceptable.
Dying youth, drinking to fill an empty void of self-worthlessness.
Uninteresting and procrastinating, no social gifts under these circumstances.

Uncaring about times of exuberant ignorance, filled with sorrow riches.
Drowning in the pool of drunkeness, peace is unmade with outer appearance.
Bundled up in innate smelliness, ridiculous passions that are uncontrollable.
Edification and ridiculous jokes revealing themselves, hearts hidden in their sleaves.
Fighting is done against the norm sometimes, regardless of who it deals with.

Weakness in justifications, violence in speech to shut down moral standards.
Raising vocal fists to be assertive and an unnecessary battle begins.
Degenerative, unelaborative, and stupid side away from social respect.
Unrevealing these things, allowing the other party to continue in this mess.
Jokingly and wittingly breaking their defenses, the attacker loses with a heart's notice.
Morality under circumstances of agape is the golden rule of our creator, let's have fun with it.

Auditor's Theme

Themes of living, pains and gains.
Willingness to lose and happiness to make it.
Unsettled risks, too many self-worries.
Desire to center elsewhere.
Neutral about self, faith-complete.

Structural imaginations, self-righteousness.
Hurtful pasts, unchangable heart.
Mistakes about life, developmental routines.
Uninterested golden rules, fulfilling them with smiles.
Strength in pride to remain stable, stubborn at heart.

Ideal riches, capitalistic barriers.
Talented passions, jealousies and strife.
Meaningful friendships, greatest simple treasures.
Errant and distressing, communication undesirable.
Research and environment very limited feeling.

Unhumble begets becoming poorer in spirit.
Incredible hurts and unstrengthening visions.
Stress triggers no memories.
Pain associates with the bad.
Relaxion never completes under distressful times.

Disciple of Scorn

Fiilled with impurities, undying will to live.
Depression and sorrow, no explanation.
Struggles and torture, temptations.
Dying feelings of personal wit,
Hasty actions without considerations.

Loss of economic value for life.
More than a walking vegetable.
Flying higher and above closest friends.
Family strife, complaints, and dumminess.
Emotive after emotive with themes of enlightment.

Artful and disdainful, no structure.
Challenges lie ahead with imputent manners.
Her paths are ungraceful and scornful just as her tongue.
Untactful, undeceitful, and fully aware of her selfishness.
Finding no salvation, burnt out about undying lusts.

Coined phrases, demystified ways and means to strive for,
Youthful barriers keep her from mature completion.
No better than what will lie ahead, always limited.
An unprofessional, unlife-like, extreme poverty, and death to self.
Only one direction and fulfilment to preach, inspire, and edify.

Random poem

Doing things right, killing time no room for error.
Fighting and hustling, programming my mind.
Controversy, switching around doing my thing.
Not listening to people, ignorant fool!
Be on the right side, motivated.

Unleash the animal from within, kill it kill it.
Just chill and drop back to the abyss.
Drinking and boozing partying, uplifting chemistry.
Costumes and all fun but who cares.
Let go of the inhibitions.

Strong morals and unsettled desires.
Too much past pain, too much destruction.
No desire to express, dying within the flesh.
Being poor and young.
Foolishness and nothingness.

"3's a crowd" Memoir

I am a foolish individual with self-dignity who does his best to live happily and among few better people.

90% is review and 10% is intuition, where intuition is instantaneous and you spend most of time reviewing.

Questions that embark you on a curious journey are the driving force of education.

Poetic Junk

Ah geez, haven't written in this site for a very long time.
Marking people in my dreams, faking reality by escaping it through healthy means.
Video games are lots of fun, but there seems to be no way out.
Temperments take me to a new level of ease.
Finding justice over my personal anguish has brought me lower.
Having fears of increasing circumstances, of doing so much.

Not a perfect creature by all means and well people are just plain better than me.
I know what drives me is my desire to express myself.
Being alone with no help really burdens me.
Uncomfortable talks are perferably not to be reckoned with.
Messy rooms and irreversible entropy, the universe will someday change with a boom.
Movies that depict the idealism, which people want in life and so many choices.

Interesting people who seem to never change for the better, knowing self-criticism.
Friends who express a major and stable emotion, which is very predictable.
Enjoyable details and yet through desire of short healthy fun, I revert to easy fun.
Challenges make me personally uneasy with talented people.
How talent is visible in others through interacting with them in an observant manner.
To live peacably whatsoever feel no envy and pride of respectively others and self.

My tongue initiates a bunch of acts, some that are more regrettable.
It is like expressing one's desires fill the individual with dedication.
Paradoxically, it is foolish to chatter these desires with strangers.
To tell them to a stranger would cause you to be envied, or even worse to envy them.
The things that matter are what I would like to experience the most.
Communication means nervousness, tension, anxiety attacks, and unimaginable work- worry.
Relationships are like formed through personal experiences and a developed model of attending to people.

Brain crunching, being physically active, and increasing reading are not much with little background.
Gee, it really hurts to blame it on those closest to you.
Expressing a repressed dissatisfaction by making positive associations with the norm.
Defending the personal view of a norm to the highest sense possible.
Too normal of a everything to find a support group.
Family background, personal attitude, compatibility with others, and experience equate to conclusion.