Morning Prayers

I'm still too involved with my past thoughts, and it's causing me to hinder my spiritual growth. Why I find this so is because I'm constantly forgetting my confidence in the Lord's saving grace. Making a million prayers is something I feel like I've been doing. I'm not so used to praying outloud in front of everyone at like a church. I have always relied on a pastor to lead me in prayer. Making this new stride has been tough!

I do wish to make intelligible statements, and I think the best way for me to adapt into a phenomenal reader is to read things that reflect upon my interests. I'm calm enough to memorize facts and still need to spend more time on juggling concepts in my head. This is so that I may find relationships with different concepts. I'm usually expecting to receive like a headache or some pain when I'm studying.

It's just a matter of me to keep up with my prayers to God. I need to ask a lot more. I would like to focus on the past, only for meaningful recollections. The present and the future is something I need to regain in composure.

EYY

I'm finding that I've been leaving myself out from doing very positive things. My mind is pretty much mainly focused on getting tasks done and the Lord God. I feel like I'm sacrificing so many things as of this point. It's like I've been impaired and perhaps at a bigger disadvantage than I used to be. I think the truth is being revealed in that I have always been a disadvantage and it's because my heart was so distracted from living out for the flesh, I became deceived. I'm not very productive these days because I feel that my mind has gone absent. I've been so focused on how to improve from the past that I've missed out on seeking after God in the present. There are a lot of things I could do for myself. I could put more time into a club, become a tutor, study the Bible, pray a lot more, exercise a lot more, focus on graduating, but I'm not doing so at my best potential. I feel like I'm not putting enough time that I should for getting things done. I'm starting to wake up and smell the coffee with God. I'm not feeling so sick these days from actually trying to complete work. I have been under so much sin now that I'm not going back to that past. I'm so sleepy write now and not so eloquent. I can't really hate my life as I used to, but love the present more than my past life. I'm living an unconditional faith and trust in God. He knows my greatest strengths and weaknesses and desires. I'm so totally convinced that Jesus is real. Living a lifestyle of faith, which Chi described at the Yebi Soon Jang Training is a choice. Besides searching for guidance from God in the Bible, I prefer fellowshipping with Him. I don't know how much I want to emphasize the values of His love and greatest commandments. It's to love your God with all your mind, heart, and soul. The second is love your neighbor as yourself. I'm so concerned about it.
EYY

Too much stuff to do

I don't know where to begin and end. I do need to get some sleep though, Boy, I'm trying to get a lot of stuff done. I just hope I can wake up early to go to the prayer meeting. I think I've been a lot of academic training, enough to be able to conduct my own personal quiet time with God. I believe I'm getting more into the idea of how one should put their faith and trust in God. Disobedience is basically largely attributed to having lack of faith. A result of having disobedience is leading a life of sensuality. Sin is very pleasurably, and the moment that we spend our time on it, promoting our egocentricity, the more violence we create with our fellowship with God. Just because we are saved doesn't mean that we should continue living a reckless life. We are supposed to be dead to sin and buried with Christ. This symbolizes our baptism by placing our faith in Christ. This allows us to have a change in heart to our old self.
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This is the title.

How does this format look? I think this might have a better appearance. When searching through my life stuff

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Let me try again

Okay this is how I think I'll format this blog page

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Check this out

Alrite, I think I'm starting to figure out this scheme.

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Boring night

I remember being inspired to pray online with words at a Christian chat room on AOL one time, early in the morning before I went to school. I had this emotional high and afterwards, I felt really sheepish. I knew jack about the Bible and here I was trying to make all this sense about what Christianity was. The reason why I have brought this up is because my soul seems to be emphasizing the importance of having fellowship with God. This is done by reading the Bible and following all those commands, which doesn't seem very gratifying at certain times. I believe I was attacked in a minor sense today by recalling all the negative thoughts that have ran my life, over the last decade. Everything is going away these days, and I'm finding myself getting very acquainted with routines. I have discovered that having good posture will not only give a person growth, but also better learning situations. The blood flows a lot better with a good posture, which is evident by you not getting tired really fast. With this added blood flow, it will help clear out some diseases in the future.

EYY

I like this setting best?

Oh do I?

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Checking one two three. Using html code to blog this sucker.

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Oh my gosh

I'm learning that I can actually imbed in html code to make my rambings look a little better. This is really neat because I never knew that I could do this. I actually have a pretty good brain, just that I suck at evoking its power when I'm in need or desire to sometimes. Afterwards with the event, I can probably duke out to get the problem if I have a little help from someone. I believe that I'm going to get some food right now.

EYY

My spicy screwed-up life

I'm going to try to recall everything that I learned today and add in a little spice to what my life is about. I talked to Mike B. in the afternoon today about how we should get our club members more involved. I brought up a few questions about his background. He was born and raised in the Philippines, where no arranged marriages occur including Korea. Therefore, I know that most democracies allow for romance to flow in their societies. Interruption, I have just learned that I haven't confirmed my graduation yet. My mom just called me via cell phone. I also heard from Mom that I left my checkbook at hometown Downey and so I'm screwed in paying my apartment fees. Moving on to where I left off, we had a club meeting and I learned that Mike who is the club president has been involved with Night Fashion, a company by doing web design work. He created web pages using Macromedia Dreamweaver and even designed an e-commerce page for everybody to use. Mike B. is a 7th year at Cal Poly Pomona and so I can see how his expertise with clubs and this kind of job knowledge makes him the perfect man suited to be president. I lacked a lot of experience and I'm going to keep on making mistakes because I'm putting myself on the spot all the time without any preparation. What's even worse is that, I'm very loose about making mistakes meaning I don't really care if I blow it. Afterwards, I usually start feeling the pain with the repercussions that goes through my head. My life after all does not suck, I'm just a little slow at tracking things down. My roommate told me that I need to clean his microwave, after I'm done. I think there are a lot of incidents that I need to be aware of. Being at this state of mind where I actually mourn for bad things, I need to not harden myself but to do positive things. Improvements should not be visible to another person, but more better embedded into the guy's character. I know I suck at chatting, but doesn't hurt to try. In my senior projects class, we talked about how Google was behaving, and the teacher sided with how it was doing unethical things. I also believe that the teacher wants privacy for his selfish reasons. Maybe he dreads the idea of getting out of his wheelchair to stand when picking up a phone. I wonder if he has a wheelchair complex, which I'm just making up. Maybe he might put picture frames a little closer to his face while sitting on his wheelchair. I don't know, I'm just digressing in a mean tone. I think teachers are public figures who risk compromising their security to very angry students with paper wad-loaded machine guns. Just a play on to make my point. I went to the library and learned that I couldn't finish two homework problems for a class. I had a little trouble getting the ideas working, but having a normal connection to the books. I learned that Cass has moved to Ohio for some time. I learned that Anthony is on the 40-day fast from meat. I learned that my roommate loves to watch the TV while it's loud. I learned I need to stay out of trouble and be involved with postive business matters to my roommates. I learned that I attended class really late and didn't get anything done except learn how to approach my homework. I learned that Christine is very tired after work, and feels very excited to call me back. I think a lot of girls find me attractive, which defies the heightism effect in society. I think I cracked the mysticism of height, somewhat with the idea of marriages. Who cares? Will I get married for being a short dude who checks in at about 5" 3? Who cares? What made me smile is that taller women tend to not get dates and so will accept a shorter man's appearance. I also have the confidence to approach shorter women and start a conversation with them. Seriously, I'm not a play boy nor a perfect bachelor. Just an absent-minded person who can be out of this physical state of California without knowing it. I guess I'm pretty funny when I want to crack something at a random variable of time. Ehh... These are daily ramblings, what will I come up with tomorrow. I guess the same old same old story. I keep writing about something that pains me or makes me excited. Sometimes, I don't want to write and sometimes I don't care about the length I write. It's been all subjective with the amount of writing I've done. I lost out today by dropping a golf class. I learned that I need to be on time to school today. I'm learning to compromise a lot of meaningless actions, like taking showers, eating, and very little bit of doing so with sleep for chewing in more time. I'll see what glories God has stored for me tomorrow.
EYY

late late late for class
EYY

I've found a different direction out of joining the army. I'm originally going in as a signals intelligence analyst or cryptologist linguist, despite the ongoing war. I want to make this clear, one should truly never join the army for benefits! It is to serve this country and be a defender of freedom. The men and women who have lost their lives fighting in the frontlines doesn't constitute to good times. Nevertheless, we mustn't forget the true values of being in America. It's the right to having freedom in a powerful country, and this is an achievement that has been unparalleled by no other country. It's basically our naturally given rights to walk, breathe, talk, and behave the way we are supposed to! The right to religion is a true commodity, but the reason behind it is to not to force anyone to adopt the perfect relationship that isn't visible. Our hardened hearts may lean out of it often or less than others. We are without a doubt imperfect creatures who have been made right by having trust in the sacrificial lamb, Christ. Faith is like putting trust in your marriage. That's what is required to have a relationship with God and so often we have tested him that some have turned away or never even thought about it because of some emotional breakdowns. I have the choice of becoming a doctor or joining the ministry instead of going into the army. I have a deep decision to make which is going to godly, no matter what path it is! I might not get a security clearance which is fine. I can't get out of the army for saying I want to become a business man instead. They will become angry!
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Being in a repentive state of heart is a very important command from the word of God. Without this willingness, it is highly evident that God may not have chosen to enable this person's heart. God is the creator of our faith as He describes Himself in the old and new testament. It is also by what He does that we come to see the terms we need from Him. Exercising no repentence means you are denying the need for Christ in your life. Having no need will cause you to not to walk the way of the Lord. Repentence by a believer is a sure sign that he has no dead faith in Jesus of the new testament. It is all about faith within our hearts as Romans 10:9 states, "believe in your heart", and no external religion will change the true word of God.
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I'm finding that I'm not the most talented person on the planet! I wish I was so good at the things I am working on. I lack so much concentration because it's been a habit of me not wanting to stress it so much. The only good thing I truly have to offer is my faith in Jesus of the New Testament. It is mainly a testimony that we base our faith off of. The gospel is best understood by basically hearing those words and letting it stir our hearts. I'm not very structured at writing out sentences because I tend to get knocked out with figuring out where to begin.
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If you can't beat them, then join them. I think that I'm not that very clever at sending out e-mails because I really have bugged a lot of people. That was pretty funny, how I sent like an e-mail and then had an idea of what everybody was up to. It was pretty neat to have some skill in writing. I know that when I'm at a confident state, then I can also become really stubborn and miss out on a lot of details. I think being stubborn is not a good trait for me to exhibit when I'm leading. I believe that I need to be able to convince others to go my way. I think a good leader is also very convincing about how plans are supposed to be made. I being tested positive as an emotional and organizational leader should become wholly dedicated to achieving a principle that is agreed upon by the majority. I mustn't be stubborn but yet be convincing enough to gather the majority, if it is ethical. It's only a matter of time that experience will be excruciatingly needed.
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Today, I post yet another blog for the sake of keeping up with my habit. My mind is not really tuned in well right now with reading this technical article. I also have been assigned some math homework. By the way, I'm taking three math classes this quarter and I'm ready to get drilled. I might end up exchanging one course with another class, if I can get into it. I'm looking at dropping Abstract Linear Algebra for Basic Set Theory because I sort of want a break. If not, then I'll stick with that hard abstract linear algebra course. I don't really want to impress people with my grades now. I just want to play it safe. I already have over 250 units over the last 5 years and I think that's impressive enough for an ungraduate record. I'm going to try to get Graph Theory or Intro. to Random Processes. I also need to take a government test to graduate this quarter. My plans are pretty much to go all out with everything good in working hard at mind, body, and spirit. For the mind, I basically want to study so freaking hard, pretty funny thinking those words. The body could use a tune-up and some extra inches so I can catch up with my other friends. I am currently below average with my height, so some people may believe that it's all because of genes. Not quite, I have arms and shoulders that match up pretty well with a lot of my taller friends. I also think that I have pretty big feet for a short guy. I've found a book on growing taller which pretty much says that you have to be healthy, sleeping enough, and eating right to grow. It guarantees added height for people up to the age 25. In some cases, even up to 30 as well. Or your money back! For the spirit, I need to raise some money to go to Cambodia, so that I could do some summer mission project there. I'm also planning to lead a Bible discussion group because I need to get a feel for how others are relating with life in their relationship with God.
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Nothing very fancy, I did this using GIMP 2 which is a free software. The picture in back is me on that background. He looks very young, doesn't he? I think I look a little more handsome these days from exercising. I believe that I need to just get a little bit taller for better fellowshipping purposes. Seriously, I'm not part of this world and so I know that being a believer of Christ is going to make it worse. It's like a double whammy; being a guy who is short and also a full-time believer. It's pretty neat that I get to mourn a lot. With the shortness issue, I'm not going to stress it sometimes but I'm going to make myself taller because I see it as useful. Height is useful indeed, although not very necessary.

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I believe that today I'm touching on the gray areas of humanity. Keeping in mind that word of mouth is how a lot of people function, I'm starting to see that my area of expertise is actually very limited. I have wasted a lot of time in the past and to become better at understanding how things are working in this world, I need to read up on the right things. I'm not actually the most perfect being who catches every single detail in my own life. I believe a huge blessing in my life has been the ability to have a heart to worship God the father and Jesus the Son from having faith that the spirit of truth is filling me. Reading the book of John has turned out to be a blessing. I'm finding that its contents are very encouraging in seeking after Christ. By honoring Christ, we are honoring the father. The miracle of raising Lazarus from the dead has served as evidence of placing trust that Jesus of Bethelem, part of Galilee, is the messiah. If you closely examine the contents of the book of John, then you'll realize the great love that God has for us. It says in John 10: 14-16 that Jesus is the good sheperd, and he lays down his life for the sheep. The sheep represents all who have put their faith in Christ. There are also the sheep who is not of Christ, but they'll listen to the word of God and will eventually become saved. John 14:23 shows that the prince of this world is against Christ. In John 15:19, believers are not part of this world; therefore, the world hates believers. It says in John 12:25, a man who loves his life will lose it [the worldly type], but the believer who is going to suffer through persecution has eternal life. The Son of Man's main request was for us to have good fellowship with one another through love being the main emphasis. John 15:12 tells us the Lord's command, "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." If you look down to more verses, then you'll see that Christ considers believers as a friend. This is truly remarkable, the grace of God is very evident. We, having an evil-filled heart by acknowledging Romans 3:10-18, believers are justified as righteous by God in Romans 3:22. For God so loved this world that he gave his one and only son to die for this world. If you are in the midst of consideration with accepting the gospel at full pace, then please consider getting onboard the train of God's fruits.
EYY

I'm realizing that today I really want to focus on creating a pretty simple website for a computer club. Even though I don't possess a lot of talent in utilizing all this technology. I think I'm just going to use my own way of making things happen. What I plan to do is just create mainly a blogger with pictures on it and just keep it simple. I think the CS club is going to adopt minutes and get some people to come up with some fresh ideas for hanging out together. I believe that having speakers will be wonderful, but it's a long shot of that happening. I believe everything should coming down to heart now.
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Today, I just came back from a nice trip of attending San Francisco and Yosemite. I mean it in a spiritual sense because there was not much going on by traveling by bus. I see some disadvantages of going on the bus tour, and I'm frankly glad that my parents didn't really resort to that in the US. For the spiritual aspects, I had some discussions with my travel companion and Christian brother Chris. We mainly conversed about our problems and rambled on about other things, like sibling problems, muslims, history, and prayer requests. Overall, it wasn't really that good but satisfying enough because I got to enjoy reading the Book of John on the bus. I also managed to get in a lot of sleep. Being able to talk to a lot of girls on the bus was pretty fun. I'm graduating next quarter, but not looking into marrying anytime soon. I do have this heightened sense of wanting to though. I made a promise not to get a girlfriend before I graduated to God. It pretty much helped in making the prayer because I didn't really feel a lot of torture after doing it. My body became immune to the thought of sad feelings that would lower my confidence completely if I hadn't made up my mind. As a result, I lost a lot of my emotional intelligence. I was a stunned bird without any will to soar higher than any other. God is the key to my treasure chest that sunk underneath the ocean with my emotions. I've managed to retrieve it and get it opened! My heart inside of me has developed into wanting to glorify him by loving others and being a dilligent kid.
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Okay, today I'm starting to figure out that I do have a heart that longs for glorifying God. Going to a campus ministry has been a lot of fun, and it sometimes takes a lot of heart to stay with it. A few people are very dedicated to this evangelical purpose, and I truly believe that the best solution is to never lose hope, regardless of whatever doctrine that we choose to follow. A hope for a better tomorrow and living is so evident in this world. If we were to put Christ before us, then we will see a hope of seeing many nonbelievers turning into believers. This process is not as easy as it sounds to many evangelical ministers. It is obvious that God has gifted many well-known pastors throughout our generation.
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Today, I find myself having a lot of important things to do. I need to make phone calls to my mom, friend, and recruiter. I am not able to log on to the school server to check my e-mails or register for classes because it says invalid password. I think I might have some problems with the registrar's office. I should wash up by taking a shower because I'm a mess at the moment. I also need to do the laundry because a whole tub of clothes are in there at the moment. I also have to pay for the apartment fees, which I blew off for a week because I put too much concentration on studying, writing, and school clubs. I'm an officer of Computer Science Society, aka CSS and a pretty good goer to Korean Campus Crusade for Christ meetings at Cal Poly Pomona. I've been told by Eric Somethawng (last name, unknown) that he's heard a lot of things about me, which makes me popular around my peers. I'm not very sure about that because I don't want to accept those ideas. I want to dedicate my life to Christ, without expecting anything special. I do it because it is absolutely the greatest privilege to be a part of and going for the ride which God so abundantly provides. It's all God's work, not mine. I'll be charged $25.00 extra for turning it in late my apartment fee. Throughout the break, I want to keep reading up on stuff and just keep it simple. Regardless of how I feel about staying focused on one topic, I have this feeling of urgency to get like too many things done. I'm not going to pay much attention to the things I'm reading, but just do it to see what I can pick up. I'm going to be working on things that I feel is important. I know that there is the LA Marathon this coming Sunday, which I need to run in with my parents. I haven't really trained for it lately because I'm going to take my time this year. I am also going to plan group outings of runners and dedicate myself to training for next year's marathon by starting out with shorter lengths of running. I am also planning to lead a group discussion of the biblical book of John, but I can't do it without reading anything about it!
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Don't have much to write about, just have to take a final and get done with it. I have to take three finals on Monday. My classes are basically Differential Equations, Multivariable Calculus 1, and Operating Systems. They are undergraduate courses and don't seem to bad just that I'm a little pressed for time. I hope I'll do good enough to get an A in each course. I'm sure that I'm looking at a B average at the moment. Just have to try hard enough, hopefully things will go okay. I think I'm not really going to have a lot of sleep and that might be a bad factor. I hope everything will be fine. I think that placing God as my first priority is going to be a very good positive thing for me because it's going to give me some strength to stay up late.
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It's pretty interesting to note that people are actually willing to drive all the way from UCLA to bow to me. I'm so little, but look older than everybody else. Gosh darn it, I want to look more little but look much younger than everybody else. I guess time flies by too quickly. I still have hope in growing taller to catch up with everybody else. I want to do those so I can at least look like that I have good hygiene. I also want to fellowship with other people a little better to glorify God. I could have better voice projection to those tall friends. Even without it, I believe that I can still look decent enough for a very tall wife. Regardless of height, I'm more into the personality aspect and more about being friends with the sister in Christ. I think I'm a lying scoundrel for saying that I'm never going to get married. I could also not be too. Finding discernment at this age is a wonderful blessing from God, hopefully I'm right, because I can actually now know what the true aspect of a conflict is in people. I remember blaming a lot of stuff on other things for problems that I conceived with these group of friends. I think I had a lot of worries and anxieties of doing the wrong things to offend people and let go of wonderful friendships. I was a little too emotionally attached when I was in the earlier parts of high school and elementary school. I was very inactive with my school work, as to how I feel because I used to procrastinate my little to nothing homework and watch TV all day. That was a total mind knock-over. I regret ever having done that. I didn't even budge to fix my hygiene of getting taller and washing my face. I do feel that I'm fortunate enough to pluck my hair out of my face and eye brows with my own fingers. I don't really feel a huge sensation of pain. I guess if a close female friend of yours says you'll look better if something is done, chances are she's right.
EYY

Yeesh, I just woke up right now and I'm finding myself in a very bad position right now. I haven't shown up the whole day to go out witnessing, and it looks like that I'm not in very good shape right now. I have several excuses for not having made it today, and I'm starting to realize that a good fellowship is something that this Cal Poly club lacks. It feels like people are totally struggling with their relationship in God. I just have feelings but I can't confirm these thoughts. A fellow KCCCer named Daniel (too many of them) said that he wants to feel God's presence and know what that relationship is about. I'm starting to see that the weakness in me is being generated by others. I have this sense of indifference in talking with everyone and that's how others are treating me also. I believe that despite my lack of hygiene (not being tall enough) and wearing glasses, I still need to make an effort in developing communication skills. The way for me to do this is to listen to what others are saying. I'm really glad that this blog is probably best understood only by me and that noone else besides God will ever understand what I'm trying to say here. The points that I am making, and the great efforts that I need to go after in studying is tough. I'm feeling a little guilty these days because I'm not really eating enough. I'm really focused on getting the good grades and not very in a fellowshipping mood right now. This is the last meeting for me and making that effort to show up is going to be tough. I believe in prayers and looks like I'm going to have spend some time in it from now on to late. I'm willing to go through the trials and burdens that get upon me just for the sake of God's family to get stronger in love and bonding. It's time to give all my effort, 24 7 for the glory of Christ.
EYY

Right To Defend America

There are several plans in the course of action that I would like to take. My dad is looking for someone like me, a well-educated son to help run some things in the business. I have expressed a desire in pursuing after an MBA and after a master's and Ph. D in CS. I sound pretty crazy right now because I also want to glorify God by joining the army. My sister and mom have said God doesn't like wars. It is okay to defend ourselves. If a criminal were to take away a life of a stranger who we love, then it would be strange to say that God doesn't want us to have a police man engage in a legal act of killing to protect this society. It is God-permissible to defend ourselves out of love for the people in this country. We should allow these types of daily conflicts to be settled by God, who calls law enforcers and even the combatants in Iraq to serve for His plan of defeating our enemies. I'm not agreeing to putting ourselves willingly, but only in these moments where we are enabled by power of God's spirit to defend our fellow countrymen.
EYY

Subtle Insults of Myself

A few e-mails feel really haunting. I've lived a social life of doing the best that I can and receiving unpredictable results. I'm starting to see people's hearts a little more clearly these days than I used to because I have refused to think back then, referring to my K-12 schooling period. It's really sad to figure out that my mom's main hope in working so hard was for me. I never knew that my mom could be so mad by being exhausted and be sarcastic in an abusive tone. It really hurt me to grow up with a few of those pains. I really had moments of wanting to please my mom by trying so hard and just not doing well enough to bring myself satisfaction. I remember having to battle with my inner being of balancing play vs. work. I went against my own moral judgement of playing enough and became worn out with studying. I think I exhibited this character because I wasn't naturally gifted at withstanding long periods of doing tedious work. I do recall having so much fun when I played games and sports with people. I didn't necessarily have the best physical shape because I took it literally in eating a lot as a kid. It became a passion for me to eat a lot, and I worried a few food preparers at parties by the amount of food I was taking. I became encouraged to eat so much food. I hardly thought about my health back then and I became really chubby. I became slower with my efforts of wanting to exercise because of all that unnecessary added weight and could have amounted to putting so much stress on my body that I stayed shorter than everybody else. That's pretty odd in that I would actually be the one to eat an abnormal amount of food and be so big on the waist like a 30 year old, regular size man would have at the age of thirteen. I weighed in at 180 pounds and was 4 ft 11 at the time. I was legally handicapped with an adult's weight at this age. Boy was I also showing off so much unconfidence because I thought that was the best thing for people to do. I believe I faked it so much by restraining myself that I actually convinced myself that I was always a quiet person. I really wasn't a quiet person because I remember asking so many questions to a friend who just said to shut up by telling me "I don't know". I remember having my heart-broken and that isn't good at all. I recall being in a depressed state and making people laugh with the stuff I was talking about. That's really wierd how I convinced myself that things weren't all right. Coming to this state of mind, I'm not too sure what to expect out of it. Things have been going pretty smoothly for me and now I see disruptions and a comfort zone that's dissipating. I'm starting to notice that I lack so much in discipline and randomly just saying this.
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Today's Diary Report

Today, it's one of those days where I feel a little down because I'm not living up to what I truly want. I've been sick and complained about it to myself so much that I missed some classes at Cal Poly. I'm taking only 12 units so I don't see myself falling very behind. Not to mention, that I'm repeating one course and taking two math classes which are progressing for me pretty well. Getting back to what I want, I feel a little disappointed at myself because I have scorn for my funny actions. I'm very well getting impressed with this year's group of officers because the major changes are happening. Having a meeting on Mondays has been largely successful because of its lack of scheduling conflict with other students. I remember doing nothing last year, so there's not much credit I can give myself. I was under the spell of wanting to play computer games, silly me and not realizing the amount of time I was passing up to actually be able to focus on my coursework. I've had to learn several lessons, which are based on tweaking my academic performances by first learning to have the right amount of patience for achieving knowledge. I've also finally managed to agree with myself that attending classes are really important because you get to have a highlight of the day at the very minimal standard. My parents have already begun thinking highly of me and so worry about my future after the army. They talk about an age gap with other competitors, but I personally see it as a refuge to grow bigger by using my desires from natural tendencies. I see that a lot of things are made implicit and that feelings can sometimes cause one to panic enough to actually shed from the hard truth of living out a desirably good experience.
EYY

Moment of Imagerial Recollection

I'm starting to realize these days that intuition doesn't always come with expectations of looking for it at the right moment of time. All of this world seems to be dwelled in by a loving force that captivates individuals by their own will or natural selection from this invisible goodness. It is true that everyone doesn't always live a happy life of wanting to do everything easy and being filled to the utmost and having that cup filled to the very rim of it and enlarged for further satisfaction. All of us have been given a gift from this most gracious circle because of our natural predestination to incline to the dark pits of failure. When I look at individuals, I see a sense of a lighted being wanting to provide them with all of their needs and being wholy challenged in trying to mold them in the perfect and best form. For example, using me as an illustration, I have grown up to be the most insignificant person that I have ever imagined to be. I've continuously lived this empty life filled with emotions of desperation, lust, sorrows, guilt, and deep despair. I disabled myself by practicing cult-like rituals that distracted me from gathering fruits for my family and loved ones. By practicing the deceptive art of not being caught by my parents, I was only hurting myself by clinging on to this security blanket. It is too devestating for me to reveal to women who are precious souls to the living God, equivalently with men. I find that my way of past practices have led me to a doomed path of repetitious sadness and willful rebellion against the natural calls of truth, justice, and righteousness. I was nothing but a clanging piece of gong who acted like nothing was wrong because of my need to cling on to encouragement of good people. Yes, I have a tainted heart filled with evil and find that solving problems is the thing that I like to do for myself. I've had a period of drought in the actions of encouraging others when I was given a calling to do so. My emotions sank underneath the ocean on a treasure chest and out of principle, I'm working eventually at retrieving the chest, finding the perfect locksmith, and sorting out those past treasures that I have defiantly let go of.
EYY

I've found a site where you can order an e-book to become taller naturally. The testimonies claim people having grown at least some centimeters for trying it. It's likely that people can even keep growing to their thirties. I personally want to grow taller because I'm about 5 ft 2 1/2. It doesn't really matter to me because I don't mind being this short. I'm just doing it to glorify the Lord so that I can fellowship better with other brothers who are way taller than me. That's my main reason of wanting to grow taller and so I will apply the principles from this book of growing taller. The website is tobetaller.com, but I'm going to do it because it looks pretty safe to me and thirty dollars doesn't seem that big of a deal for a book. I think I will check its authenticity before I I go about ordering the book.
EYY

Today, I don't feel like writing because I'm still sick with a red right eye and sore throat. I think the red eye is affected because of my allergies with dust and also very tired. I believe in heavily in not using medicine to relieve myself because I want to live a steady healthy life. This way I won't have to rely on a material to sustain my physicality. I'm finding that I am becoming more capable of an individual who can love and show affection. I do have emotions inside of me that cause me to want to cry for people who died in a war. At the same time, I'm also able to cry for being happy at the good things that are happening in this life. War just induces tears to me because I'm bringing myself closer to it this year. I've signed up and now am part of the active army as a signal intelligence analyst or linguist. I don't know what adventures lie in wait for me. In the next five years, I don't know how I'll turn out after finishing my service. I could be sent to Iraq but I don't see it as likely because I'm going in the service as a noncombatant so I won't be seeing enemy lines. The brave Korean units all 660 of them in Iraq are also noncombatants and none of them have died from enemy fire. I hear how one died after being kidnapped by Iraqi terrorists. I believe that the government might have a bigger calling for me because they are willing to invest a year of Advanced Individual Training for me to learn a crucial language. I am willing to defend my country and will die with honor, but it's highly likely this won't be the case for me. I'm looking at being schooled in the army in postgraduate school. My sister has made the assumption that soliders have to do their job and can't go to school. It's not so because the army places willing and capable soldiers at a school with duty to research for the government.
EYY

I haven't written on this blog for a very long time now. I think I've finally found some time to include a little portion of the details that has happened in my life. This week a lot of significant changes are occurring in my life because I've made some life-altering decisions. I still have some time to go to reconfirm that my path is absolutely the best way to go. Sometimes, we all have to risks to get to where we all desire. Many will want to find a relaxing and comfortable route because discomfort and suffering is seen as a negative sign of someone's life. It in fact is just the opposite because suffering and discomfort could be used to the person's advantage in growing smarter and developing a good heart. Many of us are still basing our lives off personal feelings and thoughts that come with it. I'm pretty much an emotional dummy as of this point in my life. I like to see things clear cut and after things that I want to do. I still have faults that I want to get rid of. I have moments of blurting out uncontrollable words when I'm faced with a situation of studying and flashing back to memories that I don't want to remember. I remember thoughts that I used to have dealing with my evil desires of sensuality. I've had to battle with this sin for practically my whole life. I also say stuff to people and repeat them to myself because I don't want to make any mistake and like to fix them as I go. I'm not really into fame and fortune. The image thing isn't really for me. I've noticed that my intutition is starting to grow larger and has piqued itself to higher grounds. Surely, I know that I'm still a dummy by making mistakes. I've figured out three things will ensure a good school life. Focus, study, and hard work. Learning is just a state.
EYY

It's really hard to appreciate humor these days. I guess not everyone is able to see it these days. I believe we all have our strengths and weaknesses that carries us throughout our days. It's sometimes difficult to picture a calling of the right higher power. I'm talking about the almighty God of the Old and New Testament. I'm basically laughing off the pressures that are associated with this writing. I've developed some type of humor that motivates me to continue progressing in this lifetime. It of course hurts to not to make progress for me. If I end up doing other things that aren't my priorities, I end up sad, lonely, disappointed, and often frustrated. It's like wanting to get high off of drugs but you use a different enemy which is your ownself. We can sometimes deceive ourselves as young human beings without any proper advice. Some think that kids grow up to automatically thinking adults. This isn't always the case because the ideas that we all have don't necessarily fit in the modeling stream of this world. For instance, I dream and become the sole center of interest in the dreams. My ideas become exposed to my conscious, and my brain waves carry out a simulation of how I'm expecting people to interact with me at different circumstances. I have surprised myself quite often with unexpected results from what I have originally aimed for.
EYY

Boy, I'm not very emotionally stable at the moment and it's this feeling of emptiness that's associated with my body. It's really discouraging to try to talk to people because my style isn't that great. I have grown up as not a talker but more of a thinker of my conscience. I've made a lot of bad decisions in the past and knew I was making them. I also became trapped into this cycle of addiction. I know it's all about keeping a constant and steady pace. My body doesn't seem to have that discipline to do it. From childhood, I've never been able to take out my restlessness when it came to getting things done. With all of these things, I have lacked a lot of advice which I made my idol. I've always had this sort of spiritual sense of being told what to do to make my life happy. My parents and peers have made an assumption that there really isn't any problems with my life. My mom was like one of the proudest people in my life because of my steadiness. I became ensnared by my lusts for playing video games and actually passing them. My psyche became totally dependent upon how I was playing a video game. Today, I am mourning about my past and doing the best I can to make my end's meet. I'm totally used to segregation with the normal crowds. I never really did so well in the big ones. I grew up with a shock of being physically left out by people I played with. I was one of those people who was chosen last for everything, but I was at the top of my class at different periods of my life. I certainly did have this edge of wanting to get A's, no matter what it took. I started losing it because I became worn out from having to go to school over and over again, with each grade. I wanted to skip all those years and get right into the meat with a solid teacher guiding me. These blessings are truly not what I have had, but I don't really care after all. Even though I mourn, my existence doesn't really care about it at all. There are a few good influences I have had in my childhood and faith is one of the most useful tactics that you have to get to. I'm now at this point in my life where everything has to be in place. My weakness is that I can't do that perfectly as I would like it to be. Looks like through having gone a lot of sufferings, I'm relying on the Bible more than ever, and it's comforting though challenging sometimes. I do feel like a work in progress for it though.
EYY

Today, I had a pretty bad day because I was kicked out of my brass ensemble class. I have been playing the trumpet and euphonium. The euphonium is like a tuba but way smaller. The instructor Gary told me that I'm making everyone wait on me and was making an accusation that I don't know the music. He also told me to not to come back, if I couldn't play the music. I can seriously play the music, but it's just me sometimes in that I can't keep up with the tempo. Oh well, I'm going to keep showing up to class. It pretty much is painful to be going through this negative event because I couldn't be so attentive to class lectures today. I'm just being an idiot by placing a lot of blame on myself with those feelings. Those feelings cause me to rethink and find some wrongs. When I'm feeling mad, I tend to think up things that could ethically go against the person I'm mad at. For the most part, I was pretty sad today and much stuff from math class didn't go in today to my head. I'm just being a dummy. The bright side is that I I believe that this music class is helping me learn about accountability and improvisation. I've been collaborating with the instructor freely a lot by giving him feedback about what's going on. I even gave him a phone call and left this cold message to him. I implied that I don't really care if he kicks me out of class, just that I'm going to keep trying. I told him that I don't like to reason with feelings. It's pretty true because I'm not very affected emotionally a lot of the times.
EYY

Today is Casino Night as well as Gethsamane Prayer night. I might be attending the Gethsamane which starts after the Casino Night. For the Casino Night, I will be suiting up and taking four of my friends, which includes my sister. My sister and her "girl" friend will be wearing a dress, I suppose. They are both like a sister to me and will be my date tonight. I'm taking two girls to Casino Night. It's been quite a journey for me this week because my emotions were not very consistent. I guess since I'm human, it's only normal for me to feel that way but I am pretty well driven by living a life of principle. It's also a really good thing when the emotion of goodness kicks in while you are also living a good life with the proper attitude. Sometimes, a good life isn't enough to reach God, or the greatest thing of all. A good life is what some people are inevitably going to resort to because it may be in a form of calling but which they do not know so keenly. It's through the gift of God that everyone has an amazing or unique gift. Whether it be a good artist or to someone who remains consistently joyful to be alive to see anyone filled with energy. It's through our prayers to the holy one, Jesus Christ, that people will come to see his kindness and patience to us in being led to a heart of repentance. It isn't about religion, it's about what our heart's intentions are supposed to contain. It is in fact the secret to an eternal life of happiness filled with love, joy, peace, faithfulness, patience, kindness, and goodness.
EYY

Hey man, everything seems to be going for me smoothly because I just blew the opportunity of talking to this one army guy throughout the whole school year. He doesn't really have any interest in me anymore because I'm adding a lot of details that may have gone all over his head. I'm planning to join the army and see if I can enlist as a linguist because I want to learn Korean and serve my country. I owe it to the government because they provided my education. Today, I have gone to a witness meeting for my club and I let God guide me in talking about Jesus Christ to a woman. That was really the first time I talked to a woman in sharing the gospel, and I was pretty nervous. God decided to change her heart by accepting Jesus as her Lord and savior. I'm pretty down with that because heaven has still yet to rejoice for others to come. I will keep this woman in my prayers. I want to make it my priority to excel in school to glorify God.
EYY

Today, I'm starting to realize how some women are hopelessly driven to be in an engaging relationship with the man of their dreams. I've made this discovery by feeling that "duhness" of my body, but it kind of helps to have looked at a website where vulnerable women might hop into. Biblically speaking in Genesis, it mentions how Eve was going to be reliant on Adam for her needs. I believe that there are exceptions to this proverb because God has raised prophetesses throughout the whole scriptures. A prophetess is a female prophet. It's really crazy to see how the strongest people also have weaknesses somewhere. Man or woman befriending one may be a very rewarding task. Reflecting on today's Bible study, it occurs to me that Christians do a lot of religious things sometimes which could be burdensome upon them. The truth of the matter arrives at the heart of each individual's soul. The intentions of the heart are what truly matters. Will a person who teaches good be a hypocrite? In other words, do they have the right to condemn others for their misdeameanors as they also transgress? The answer is obviously no, and God will be the deliverer of justice! I finally see that without any details my words of some revolving truth will suck. God is this awesome creator who puts peace back into our hearts, if we are willing to repent of our wicked past and acknowledge that the perfect life of Jesus Christ who rose from the dead has come from reigning in heaven to save us! The Book of Life has already been written after eternity has passed, so will you confirm your spot by accepting Christ today?
EYY

Man, I look pretty old today from facing the mirror. I have a lot of scars on my face, which makes me wonder why women don't talk to me really. It's okay for now, but I think only time will show how I've taken better care of myself and I'll leave up to God to decide what my appearance should be for his glory. It's so important to know the aspects of human life because even the most minute detail of our hearts can be an indicator of who we are. Conversating helps a lot and really finds some encouraging trips for the participants to travel on. It's through this moment of time where we all can start to realize where our weaknesses are and how we can truly fix them. For me, I feel that I spend so much time recapping about what just happened that it takes a couple precious minutes off my daily tasks. I think that I don't have enough motivation to get off of it because I'm not fully consistent enough to recall everything that I must do. It's also difficult because I don't have a car to travel to places more conveniently so I'm sort of stuck without that luxury. Helping the heart sounds a lot of fun, but I lack so much in doing it. I believe that I don't have all the basic foundations fully laid out yet for me to really start growing by putting in a lot of time with something. I guess I don't have that common sense as most do, but I won't stop trying to reach a very productive state because this is my calling from God.
EYY

Why my life used to be poor

This is my second blog post, and I still haven't been quite tuned to being very well off yet physically and mentally. I'm like being contradictory to many things because I'm just putting myself into a too relaxed position in my life. I have this calling to become better and more dilligent. Thinking about the time of the ice age where people were grunting and making noises to communicate, I think there were those who were called by heart to standardize their language and then teach it to others. It's like our people status has always existed from the start and not evolved from some ape-look alike species. I know that apes have similar DNA with us but I still can't believe ourselves being inferior to those creatures! I also have had a life that pretty much sucks from the day I was born. For instance, I necessarily didn't have the best parents because my mom was accustomed to only raising her voice and telling me emotional ideas that don't make sense like being the most happy when you are a child. She's also told me that young people don't need a lot of sleep because since their bodies are strong, they will wake up refreshed after a good night's sleep. I don't know if that's true because even old people can train their bodies to adapt to certain conditions even though their peak physique has passed for ages. My parents have fought a lot over small matters which turned out to be very huge arguments. They have both started screaming and yelling at each other giving lectures about what's right and why the other is wrong. There's been this separation gap between the two as well because my dad has gone into the patio to pop in a videotape and avoided talking to my mother in Korean. That really sucks because I couldn't learn so much. My dad has also told me to be very dilligent and study hard even though I didn't know how to. I then have seen my dad pop in another videotape and look really lazy on the couch by laying there and looking like a couch potato. I have told him that he was a couch potato, and he has raised his voice denying that he is a couch potato. He's been under a lot of stupidity by yelling his and I being his youngster, I have wanted to avoid any confrontations with him. He has told me to not to smoke and drink a lot, where else he has. I think he has said something like how he can control more than others can or with a deeper meaning involved in it. I think my dad smokes because of his pride to do it. My dad has also implied that he wasn't the best child by being the youngest and making a lot of girlfriends with the ugliest face. My dad has had to win my mom's heart by repetitiously calling her home before they were married. My mom has hated my dad and even screamed at him trying to get away from him. My dad has told me that my mom has worn shoes that made her look five inches taller in the past. My mom doesn't deny them, which makes me feel a little sad sometimes. Hearing about my pagan family and atheistic heritage makes me feel a bit sad, and it sucks. It has sucked so much that I've said it so much that my dad would get mad at me claiming that I'm like "what the heck" to my ancestors. So I've been forced to be around so many mishaps, personal failures, and disappointments that I'm starting to realize that I've been an idiot all this time to try to serve other gods in my life, such as television and the god-awful porn. I've pretty much been very encouraged to repent by none other than the Holy Spirit. I realize that I have so many strengths that I don't end up using them because I don't know how to. My simple model that I've thought up is to get the most important tasks done. By placing God first in my life, I'm filled with a lot of opportunity to grow bigger in my stay here at earth. There is a God out there and not many including worldly Christians see it all the time. An utmost fruit of joy, love, peace, faithfulness, patience, goodness, and kindness is associated with Christianity. To acknowledge the Son of God's existence is enough to not to need only selfish blessings from Jesus Christ. It's pretty much the smartest route to take in this life because doing everything onto the Lord with all your heart in whatever you do is a blessing. Not every devout Chrisitian is a pastor because women are also called to lead the household of her offspring.
EYY

I'm currently logged on wirelessly at home and remotely connected to someone elses internet. It's pretty unreliable because my laptop doesn't always detect it. I'm currently watching stuff on TV which is about the quarterback. I also ran a half marathon today of 13.1 miles with my family. I have a younger sister whose about 19 and goes to UCI. She's pretty feisty so don't approach her if you are going to annoy someone. Running today was fun and I think I lost four pounds today from doing it. I took about two hours and my family finished twenty minutes later, excluding my dad who took three hours. I'm very impressed about how there were bigger people who was running better than me. I mean people who you would never expect to run a marathon very well. They finished earlier than two hours, and that's impressive. I saw a man who pushed a baby stroller while running! The marathon today had a count of 10 K runners. I believe only one of them commented about how I was short behind me while I was running which means that I'm not that that short. My main objective was to glorify the Lord by finishing the race but I think I need to train a lot harder for next year.
EYY

Sometimes dreaming a lot can be bad for you by fostering the development of your pride. For me, I'm sometimes able to control my own events that go on in my dream. It's like I'm the sole center of knowing what's going on everywhere. I just got up right now and received a phone call from my mom. I'm speaking naturally in Korean in these days but still limited in it but I want to learn more about Korean. I think going to the army to do a civillian job would be a great way for me to give back to the government who has supplied me with free education. The Bible says not to take ill-gotten gain for granted because it creates a bad proverb for the person who is taking advantage of it. For the last couple years, I felt I was taking advantage of the government and became emotionless to the idea of going to school and just had this period of not getting much done at school and merely existing. I need to go my laundary done right now so that I can go home with less things. I am taking this labtop with me though and what I'm going to do is to try to minimize even less my load by setting up a computer at home sooner or later. Right now, I have this calling to get some programming done and that is what I will focus on.
EYY

It's this time of the year again where everything doesn't always go according to plan. I'm not very disappointed at really anything but it really seems like that my mind can fixate on people visually. Our hearts and souls are corrupted, and we must get them repaired by our Lord, Jesus. I'm facing an emotional breakdown but not that big because it's the end of the week and I have to keep going. I can't stop going after doing my homework and must keep it by getting done early. It is then that by being on top, I will be able to master school a lot better. There is this unique for me to do well in school because I want to be very well educated enough to be able to have a great sense of knowing myself and going to a place of learning. I don't have the calling to really become a preacher, nor do I have a calling to go really in depth with the Lord of God. It's like I have banned myself from having deliberately sinned under deceit. I am going under a period of mourning because I have not reached a dilligent status yet. Eventually, I should be able to control my emotions a lot better.
EYY

Today, I have gone online for no apparent reason at all because I have this urge to finish up my writing. Okay, now it's starting to kick in so I was at this career fair orientation and this army dude who is a sergeant told me about how I could be an intelligence analyst. It's basically a linguist. That sounds pretty cool, and it does deal a lot with computers because we have use all this telecommunication equipment. I think I could gain a lot of experience through this environment as well as get a master's in business and software engineering. I personally believe that software should be free and that it's the service that one should pay for, such as getting assisted on how a software works. This refers to a service oriented economy and should be alrite for software people. It's pretty nice to know that even though I am a short being. It really doesn't matter how short one is, and I'm just being an idiot to think otherwise that it's not okay to be short.
EYY

Spiritual Recap

I have realized that God's power over mankind is a serious issue because God will one day judge all of us after we physically depart from this world. It's hard to see that the physical world is a place where you exit to go into another dimension. Death is like exiting this physical world. The true essence of death comes from our past sins which have caused us to deserve death. We are all deserving of death because we have failed to be a good person at one point. We all have good morality in us and can decide to turn against it out of being deceived or having the choice of going after pleasures. This morality in us has been created by God, and many Chrisitians know the law of God really well but choose not to abide by it. God is going judge us for our actions, and we are accountable for all of our actions because God looks at the intents of our hearts. Not knowing the gospel or knowing the gospel is not a problem to God because His creations are clearly visible. We are not creators of this land, and when we claim that a thing is rightfully ours in its entirety it is not because those elements are of God. Everyone has the choice to go under sin or not. I hope that many more will come to the realization that they must repent to be right before Jesus Christ, our savior who justifies our righteousness before God.
EYY

Early in the morning

Today I'm sitting here at this early time to do a prayer meeting with everyone at my Korean Christian Club. I'm just pretty much writing whatever comes into my mind right now because I'm sitting here looking at my Gahm Sahm Nim? It means staff in Korean. We are going to cover today in Genesis. This is really nice how we are able to get together to fellowship together. It's mainly been four who have been very active. I'm the fifth who has showed up to every one but sometimes really late. Jay has also been around to prayer meetings and has even gone witnessing(!) with all of us. It's a lot of fun to gather and to be able to have fellowship. In the name of glorifying the Lord Jesus Christ, it is my honor to come here and see at least a gathering of a crowd. It means 3+ people.
EYY

The true essence to living in this physical world means that timing is everything. I am going to have to admit that my failures associate with past times as well. It's like I'm under a curse from having done negative things to my learning health. Today I found out that I failed my midterm for Double variable Calculus, and it totally sucks. I was under a lot of fast time pressure and also arrogant because I had turned in my homework and received good marks with them. I need to keep up the good work in doing homework and in the meantime be more careful at doing math. I also have been sometimes getting off-centered during the lectures because my body wants to focus elsewhere even though I don't want to. I believe that it won't be too long before I'm able to become prolific enough to be a great pro at taking tests.
EYY

I was largely unaware of my actions roughly due to the large volume of disorderly sarcasm that I developed from taking 100 units in five quarters. It gave me great pleasure to announce to you that I was sorry for upholding actions as a curmudgeon. Placing myself in my own shoes vicariously to people in general, I would personally feel regret if someone like me last year had seriously cried and sought out to torment my own heart like a poor instructor's through legitimate usage of the language. The pain was therefore universal and felt by all of God's creations to heaven. I had largely been associated with using past tense verses as this is all supposed to be brushed aside for ethical concerns; it would anger me highly significantly, if a CS professor would not be able to abstract ethical details as some cirriculum like the age of the Dinosaurs course, Operating Systems encourages to all of its destined students.
(WRITTEN FOR HK Liu, CS Professor)
With forgiving attitude, Amen.
EYY

I recall something that made me a little mad. This black worker at CBS TV Taping place made this soft-hearted lady sing a cliche "I love you" over and over again. He advertised it as a very funny thing that would make the audience laugh. I didn't really like it at all because I very well respected her singing that phrase over and over again. Looks like I'm actually sometimes emotional driven which makes me pretty human internally. It's pretty true that we can't be always perfect by like seeing an athlete hit a homerun all the time or a basketballer make shots all the time. It's really great how this economy makes these foolish looking atheletes lead on with lucrative careers. It's pretty much all in an economic strategy which causes all these interesting phenomenons to happen. I'm very well blessed to be called a legal adult now and to have an education that will allow to lead over a baby-boomer generation which does not have a lot of dilligent diploma recepients. It is a privilege to be this generation and to have come from a freakish family because it has strategically been the best part for me. I came out short and fat and totally diffident, possibly one of the worst candidates for getting an early girlfriend or trying bad things at a younger age. I didn't really deal with any peer pressure either because I always kept my mouth shut. I had no clue what the school was about and even though I wanted to fit in, I really didn't care because my passion used to be to get straight A's at every cost. I lost hours of sleep and had many days of fretting over having procrastinated. I was upset and had no satisfactions whatsoever. I became a maniac-depressed person after losing my video games, doing bad in school, and liking so many girls but not doing anything about it! I was thinking committing suicide over these stupid hormonal drives that made no plain sense to me at all. I took pills too but got off of them after a month. I believe that I let my animal desires take over my tormented soul which allowed for an evil spirit to dwell in me. It got really bad because I ended up hearing voices that came from my head and was auditorial. I just submitted myself to the authority I was called to and sure enough it became a success. I remember asking a million questions and receiving shrugs from this one dude who didn't want to answer my questions. I became so depressed because I wanted to talk to someone. He was like right next to me and I was so lonely. No, I never had the idea of being a homosexual because I was addicted to porn at the time of high school. I totally regret having looked at it and recall the moments that I actually cried out for those sins. They got to me eventually and something made me get really mad because I was feeling deceived. I then went on this message board and starting duking out with those porn lovers by debating with them and saying that they are dumb in a formal way
EYY

I believe that it is sometimes a pain to have a teacher who doesn't quite see eye to eye with you and end up throwing you out of his class. This is just the case that I was involved with last year over some frustration that I deserved better than a D-. That seems sort of rude that the teacher mentioned that I could still graduate with a D-. He was very adamant about taking a different class but I wasn't because I wanted to adhere to the rules. I became very angry at the start of the quarter, and I believe it caused me to lose focus with my academics and become more sarcastic with my club efforts. I was a horrible leader after all because I hadn't developed a keen sense of attending classes and studying for them. I was pretty much in a questioning state but everything drove me to accept who Christ really was. I just needed someone to show me where He was in my life.
EYY

Today has been quite a day because I'm lacking a little sleep and facing a little dilemma as to what I have to be doing. I'm pretty much reaching the endpoint to everything in my ability. I need to be trained to recognize things a lot sharper because it will be beneficial in the long run. I plan to do this by staying more dilligent and resting more wisely.
EYY

Sugar coded message

Today's been quite a journey even for having no classes to attend to on a major school day. What happened was that we had a little mishap for a BBQ sale with another club. I became confused as to where the grill was because it was supposed to delivered at 9:00 am. It unfortunately didn't arrive and we were out of luck until they finally delivered it at 11:30 am or slightly earlier.

We ended up having some poor quality food and our competitor just whooped us today. It's okay though because we ended up selling all our food and just gave it away to everyone. The food was much better last year because it was homemade food. This year wasn't because everything was from the market except for my mom's famous salad sauce which we didn't use on salad!

It's been a lot of fun today but I'm learning that I need to be more dilligent in the small matters that count. Like, I'm really slow getting up in the morning and I didn't really have time to take a bath today. I went out with my buddies and have this sense of wanting to glorify the Lord by helping to make Cal Poly a better place to go to. I want to help out in every way that I can with all my abilities and leave the rest to God. I need to wake up at 6:00 am tomorrow to go to prayer meeting. I just like going to those meetings just to really pray about some things. I really need to do a lot more prayer about those things. I have this passion which is to program, write, and play the piano all at the same time. I want to use these passions to serve the almighty. I believe that I don't have the calling to become a pastor but I do know that I'm sort of a freak that walks this earth. It's also cool knowing that I am this type of person. I'm not born white in the first place, I have an American name, a very wierd Korean name, and I'm short. I am an American citizen freak of nature, but it's cool because I want to be around to glorify Jesus Christ my savior.
EYY

My long research about people working in the porn industry ended up pretty inconclusive but by reasoning with data from the CIA and Bureau of Labor Statistics, I'm 100% sure there's less than a million adult film workers. It's too bad I couldn't factor in a true estimate, but I didn't want to go into those sites and count all of the models for that is a waste of time. I feel that other parts of the world are in trouble because of a tolerance for prostitutes. I believe legalizing it will spread more HIV and cause more broken relationships. Furthermore, damaging our physical bodies before God who has called us to sanctify ourselves from fornication.
EYY

The Sabbath Day

The Lord heavenly Father truly does save by getting us to repent before Him and by keeping simple faith in Christ Jesus. The gospel is just plain simple, we need to see that our hearts are evil. So we repent and become faithful to the Lord. What else is the best thing that we can do?

I found that I have some passion of writing, programming, and playing the piano, so I will live up to these things for the glory of the Lord. Without glorifying the Lord, my purpose in life becomes meaningless. I really enjoy writing about stuff like this because it really brings me this great level of comfort and security. I can truly think in my own space and communicate in a unique visual way. I think that's the key for me in that I've raised my ownself in a short period to visually appreciate my own text! As funny or wierd as that may seem, I guess I don't really care about being rough in the edges about what I decide to write about.

I'm just keeping to the topic the best that I can and pretty much, I can't even remember more than a dime's worth of stuff I wrote about. I can go back and laugh it off with a lot of the stuff I've written. I know that I've made a million mistakes under pressure and through these moments I've written some really sarcastic comments. I've also made some work at trying to break into a repetoire of writing by spending at least a lot of time just staring at this screen.

I used to have a really hard time reading words and even my own stuff that I've written! That's so wierd because I've learned to write about stuff but not actually read back then very well to get a good understanding of what I was even trying to say! I think that just means that I had a very bad habit of never opening a book even though I was great at pronouncing words. I think I became really indolent at trying to focus on the meaning that is centered with each sentence. I believe this came from a stupid philosophy of never having to truly memorize anything! That's a bad idea because it can bring in a lot of stupidity especially if you are trying to learn a new language.

I don't mind memorizing some stuff but do mind in some cases such as math because I really like to know what I'm doing because if I don't I will stress out over problems that make no sense at all to me. I've just went out to digress about stuff and I'm just typing away in this keyboard. I'm even very surprised that 285 people have looked at my profile. I could probably be the 100 that counts for the profile. I just like at my profile to see if anyone has even read it! That's not too bad I suppose because I never advertised this piece of junk.

I guess it just means that I'm going to have to be more careful from now on. All my little humor that I'm writing about using senseless words and ridiculously meticulously words in an impromptu state causes me to literally laugh out loud. I wouldn't mind calling myself the GaMeLauGHeR or something like that.

EYY

Writing is indeed a lot of fun especially for me because I'm using a tool that I'm studying to research on- computers. The enter key will put the wallah finish into this piece of art!
EYY

Secrets to School Success

Today, I found out that my classes can be a lot easier by focusing in them. I use the power of prayer to Christ, my Lord who I confide in very heavily to make me more fruitful. My body wishes to sin though but I personally don't. I don't want to lean on the past judgements that have caused me to get to sinful habits such as being lazy.

All I need to do to really get going to the finish line with my CS assignment is get two questions answered by the professor. They are just for clarification purposes and the rest should be easy!

I am planning on focusing to study four hours a night per week because it will ensure that I get straight A's. The working formula is to put in two hours per unit as a guideline principle. It is my guarantee that if one follows this standard for any class, easy or hard and is actually studying well during that time, they will succeed. 15 units means 30 hours a week and so on.
EYY

This is very neat

The only bad side-effect that I get from using hello when I post is that I can't name a title for eah post that I do, but I can use the edit button to name a title. It's like working backwords to a title with each of my posts.
EYY

Oh hey, I can automatically type here to post stuff automatically. I don't have to go through that log in hassles.
EYY

I am using a tool called hello from google which automatically posts my pictures one by one.
EYY

Missing out

Today, I discovered that right before class begins in like ten minutes that I can't add a two-unit class because I have missed the deadline. I also feel that God is working on my side as of this moment because I'm also chasing after a minor of math and to receive credit for a minor in Math, I must complete it at the same quarter that I finish my major. It's not too bad I suppose because it's just two units. I'm planning on doing some tutoring to feel the gap of those hours, hopefully.

I also can't go to Disneyland on Friday for concert band because I couldn't enroll in it this quarter. It's fair because it just isn't right for me to just barge in the band without having rehearsed with this one. Plus the band teacher is really nice, so there's no biggy I assume. I'm also not very fond of Disney as I used to be. I guess there's a greater purpose for me of not going. I think I will be able to fellowship with God during the evening at a ministry in Downey, CA.

Why do I feel sad?

The abnormalities of life, so begot with this and forget about this my soul cries.
I think my body just goes through some period of mourning.
I think I have lost a lot of interest for myself and so must pray for others.
Wasting time that I am doing, forgetting things that I shouldn't be doing.
Losing folders for a seminar and a fee for not attending.
I need to make some plans for a better journey.
My God listen to my plans and change them for the better.
Your words are too precious and my body continually wishes to sin.
There's a contradiction to many things, like I'm missing out on something physical.
I'm short, for instance but so what?
I know so what(?) but what if I get married to a six-footer bride?
I usually laugh, but sometimes feel like mourning.
The lack of sleep from the past and the bodily cravings of getting taller makes me mourn.
I need to let it go, but somehow can't because it is always a part of me.
I'm just going to have to make do with what I got from now on and until out!

This picture captures people riding a transport boat on the Colorado River. I currently have a headache, but I just thought that I randomly select this photo because I feel like writing about anything right now. 

These photos are taken with my digital camera. 

Hello

 

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This is my dad's photo with a friend. 

Necessary details

The meaning of this title is rather cheesy because it was designed to be an emotive. Everything in this book is designed for the purpose of getting people to feel something, whether it is guilt or happiness or laughter. Anger is something I never understood in others. I so understand in myself though, but not really in others. I believe life requires making some guesses and going about adjusting from making these assumptions. Without assumptions, we will never be able to change our bad beliefs. By assuming and then receiving a contradiction, we are practicing logic. People don't like to be judged because they don't want others thinking about the bad things they are doing in their life. It's like they want to cover up what makes them feel like a lost cause. These people are like really sensitive to many issues dealing with people and want to be sentimental and vicarious to those who need help more than them. It's like they feel people can make a difference in life by working hard. They feel that they are making a difference in other people's lives, but something inside them is driving them to anger, frustration, and motivation with lust. These people are just plain wierd in a sense and are like the bad boys and bad girls you do not want to make good friends with sometimes. They are the ones who you have to live with in a love and hate relationship, unfortunately if we could love them all the time, it would be so wonderful.
Getting back to the basics is a concept I would love to refuse but can't. I would prefer feeling good all the time and confident about life but my emotions are sometimes unstable from getting worn out with hard work. I try the best I can though to be hip, but the influences that go into my head have caused me to shape into a person I don't want to be. I need to fight with principles in life, if I am going to survive with a strong head. Everyone likes rationality in life because without it, the world won't ever make sense. The ones who want to lose themselves in a messy world are the ones who are destined to fall. A good question I have to know with the answer is if people can feel something while rationalizing. Some hide their emotions as best as possible and show it only when they want to express anger. Some people are fickle and unpredictable to a sense of never understanding them. Many people have done cost and analysis with people to make a good rational decision of judgement. Without calculating the good things in life, one will never truly know what they are looking for. Lust drives people to want more and only desire as the scriptures explain. This desire itself is their true essence of being and if it does not follow the Godly principles of the Bible, then it is faulty. Faulty lust consumes people's lives and drains rational development. What is faulty lust is any desire that is considerably wrong in general. It is very difficult for people sometimes to know this limit. They have made a philosophical statement in their heads, which is very simple and twisted it to make it suit their needs.
They probably know it is wrong if the desires they feel were infringed upon them. What I mean is, criminals don't like other criminals. They keep lusting and this form consumes their entire bodies. It engulfs them and leads them straight to marching into the grave. Lust is a scary scenario for those who analyze it and understand it.

My Reasons for Mood Swings

This is an interesting topic for me because I get to talk about my human nature and psyche as a leader. I sometimes do become in a deeply troubling state. What I mean is, I get pretty angry sometimes for the silliest reasons. I expect people to do what they say sometimes, and if I don't get the result I was visualizing then I get pretty intensively mad. I think it is the most normal pet peeve for everyone, unless they don't really care to trust another individual. Trusting people is a very bad thing to do in general. I should never have done this to a whole great deal and only to an acceptable level of trust. It is so because by placing my undivided heart on a few individuals, who I really needed in my life. These people are Margarita and Mike. They really said they would be trying some things, and I really felt happy when they told me but when they told me they were busy, I then became a little troubled. I was a little uncertain about how to react. By becoming angry for awhile towards the end and at the times of finals, I started doing things by conceptualizing the blameworthy things of human nature. What I mean is, I found things that I felt were angering and distubring in people. I didn't like people lying and teasing people because of lies. This thought occurred from people not showing up to the meetings. I became frustrated and the only thing that really drove me to anger was the thought of people doing things to hurt the development of CSS. I found meetings to be a very crucial effect in everything dealing with CSS. A club is basically a gathering of people. Without people showing up, I sometimes became a little sad inside and nervous. I was also sometimes a little angry. I had times of wanting to give up and to a point I did give up. I kept trying though no matter what. No matter how much I was sinning by staying unfocused with everything in life, school, and God. I kept praying for forgiveness from God because I really believe in Jesus Christ. I believed that by simply believing in Jesus Christ and accepting him as sovereign in my life, I would become transformed into a better person. I have deep regrets of some of the things I did with this club, but overall, I feel happy for the things that I never expected to happen.
I developed a small team of willing people. That was enough to get something started and motivated me to try super hard. I had great advice from people, who I never expected to help out. I think it is this sense of doing something fun and having some kicks that got these people together at this meeting. I became happy again. I also became worried for people who I knew wanted to care for this club and do something about it. I became upset at myself for not being a hundred percent on task with everything because I always saw important issues flying before my nose. I just couldn't do it because I wasn't sure about the status quo of people showing up to a meeting. If only there were enough people and friends supporting me in general, then I would be able to make this club into a more wonderful state of being for everyone else.
The motivation was not always there for me to try very hard. Sometimes I had feelings of wanting to burn down buildings because I couldn't do anything about it. I wanted to be a great leader in this club. I wanted to represent everyone in Computer Science. I would get discouraged left and right from everyone. They would think of me as like this short kid with good ideas and that since I was not American enough, I wouldn't be able to do anything. I then lost confidence in myself. I lost happiness and had lack of control and felt like I was going nowhere. All of this, because people didn't show up to the meetings I expected people to show up at. The greatest people I admire are those who made an effort to show up. without those people, I would never have been able to lead for a greater direction in this club.

Bantering Opinions

The CS majors who never tried to show up for a club meeting are dumb people. They probably even don't want to learn to spell hard words left to right. They study really hard and hate their major at the same time. These people are pretty wierd in general because they don't know how to spend their time even more wisely. They would prefer finding the easy way out at all times. It's like they have a desire to do something and only that desire is what they have. That desire is only what carries them, and they still fail at the end. These people do not deserve to be in a wonderful club. They do not have to come join us, either. These CS majors claim they are busy, like all uninteresting sisters say to their brothers. If people have one hour to spare, then why do they never show up. It's because they don't want to show up. It's because they feel that the club is dumb and going nowhere. These people who never show up have a different life that they don't want to share because they feel it will be for the worst. They feel they will become like the biggest rejects by showing up for CSS meetings. Something causes them to forget about everything because their mind is set upon some fleshly desires, which prevent them from remembering. These CS majors do not deserve to come and interact with the cool members, and they will never find the number one spot in their lives. These so-called busy people probably spend most of their times sleeping in and not wanting to do anything else.
These people are so lazy they would prefer not programming anything fun in a course, if time and the instructor allowed them to. The worst CS majors are those who don't want to get along with all the other CS majors. They prefer staying away from their major as much as possible because they don't know what they are doing and are scared of the future that will haunt upon them. They feel that CSS is like the most cheesiest club to have ever formed. They don't think it will succeed and help them out in their careers. They think it should never have formed, and they feel that the worst is about to come because once the right people leave, they will not know what to do. Life becomes so hard for them sometimes because they have to study for other general education courses. They feel missing out on some activities CSS has planned will make their life a lot better by giving them time to do something else for catching up with their studies. They think this is a better outcome for both the leaders and themselves. They feel they will never have to practice talking to people in a class. They think if they keep their mouths shut for good then nothing will make them show up. They don't think CSS has talented people because they want something or someone to follow. They need a leader in their lives, and they prefer not being that leader because time does not permit them to.
These CS majors want a good advisor with their lives and need to have a good connection with everyone in their lives dealing with CS. They can't find this because they don't want to make an effort to show up for a CSS meeting.

Club essentials

This topic will get a little boring for the moment because noone really cares about us right now. I hated doing powerpoints because I hate Microsoft for now. I don't like using someone else's software, especially if you can create your own. It's like it is really hard to become enlightened with new techniques and concepts if an organization hogs their code. This isn't really right for an interested student. The club started for programmers. I changed the direction of this club by making more breathing room for different individuals to try us out. What I mean is, I have been trying to get the Science Council to participate with us. They didn't help out all year long, which made me pretty mad. I quit going to their stupid meetings. The only way I am going to be able to do a lot better this year is be more confident and pick out social events. I find it a little funny how we never initiated stuff for girls to have some fun in. What I mean is, we never attracted enough women to our meetings. Being unmarried, we will need to have a little fun engaging with a potential soul mate on the premises of socializing alone. It's normal to be attracted to one another, but it's evil to become very intimate with one another before marriage. The Biblical saying goes, when you have a lot of passion with a man or woman [speaking to both genders] you should get married and quit worrying about the right age of getting married. If not, bad lies can occur and so my prayers are with those who struggle greatly.
We are going to do a quite of lot of engaging socially with girls. The majority of us are guys in this club so the CS women will benefit as well. Hopefully no slime balls will ever come to this meeting that happens. Let's just forget about the stressful issues of programming and just organize stuff to have fun in going to. I don't really care for thinking about making this club an academic one. Leave that recognition to a resume at an Honor's Club. We are no honor's club, period. We won't ever be able to make this transition because we attract everyone at all ages and all grades. Nobody has to remember CSS as a computer science club anymore. It is just CSS and people can make all the funny euphemistic acronyms they want. I care a whole lot, of course for all the bad insults people will make about us. It won't stop and so we can only hope for the best and pray for those things to stop.
Peeking into society, a lot of people are genetically evil. They are like walking robots falling down while following people as a lemming. What I mean is, people lead themselves to their own destruction with drugs and alcohol. It's very dumb and stupid and expletives. It's about a great time to pray for these things to end. The world is not going to fall apart today, but tomorrow one will never know when a person creates peace in the Middle East. These leaders in the Middle East are pretty scary. Yassar Arafat died and people were like wanting to be buried with him. I don't want that to happen to me. I want to be a representative of Christ and fair reason. Of course, leadership is important to a club, but bad leadership is what members always avoid, such as me. Out of the twenty members, on the average seven thought I was a bad leader. I suppose I didn't do too bad because I did grab the attention of the majority.
What I was originally looking for was someone who could overpower us into making a difference. I wanted someone to tell me what to do and to give me support on doing something. I needed to follow someone who had a great sense of direction. I did not find this until late in the school year, where everything gradually fell apart and glued back together. It is sort of an oxymoron because it is subjective based. The thing went up and down every year because I didn't know what to expect and how to go about it. What I mean is, the club sometimes froze and started moving again with all these years there was this club. The Bits & Chips is pretty much an old version of CSS. We aren't that knowledgable with the old parts anymore because the world changed very rapidly. Back then, it was all about getting good grades and having peope come in to tell stories. This time has changed because Cal Poly accepts people with low standards now. A lot of life is at stake here because a lot of people are struggling to make an end's meet.
We started out with a zero amount of experience because the main objective of seeing growth in a club never happened. People hate low grade stuff in general both spiritually and physically. I don't know if the CSS club is a gathering for a lot of momma boys. There has been quite a sentiment for me in running this club unsuccessfully. It does not matter what the results were because the experience we all should have gained is priceless.